(Closed) am I wrong to care about this?

posted 6 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
1269 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

@mrsappleby2bee: as long as no one needs a muzzle, a security guard, and gives you presents I say invite em all!!!

Post # 5
Member
4824 posts
Honey bee

This is one of those gray areas. I dont think its weird to invite or not to invite.

You are entitled to your opinions/feelings for sure! I think since he does get along with the ex BIL, then it may be more like a friend and since the ex is coming, it might make her more comfortable as well.

If it really bothers you, then tell your FI that it makes you feel uncomfortable and while you understand he sees him as a friend, you still see him as his ex family.  Hopefully he would understand where you are coming from. Or maybe with a few days to think about it you will decide you dont care.

 

Post # 7
Member
371 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: February 2011

@mrsappleby2bee: I can see why it would be weird to invite the ex brother in law, but since you are inviting the ex and thats not weird for you then it seems like the brother in law would be less weird than that, so I think it would be okay. Esspecially if he is a good enough friend to go to the stag weekend. But its your wedding and I think you two just need to decide what works for both of you and what you are comfortable with!

 

 

Post # 10
Member
3369 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2011

Just a viewpoint from somone who’s stayed close with her ex and his family!  I adore my ex’s new GF and we talk quite a bit.  I like her more than him actually!  lol  I did not invite them to my wedding, although I would have been comfortable with it, b/c it would have been odd for the rest of my family.  If he came to the stag party and is considered a friend by your FI, it seems to make sense that he could be at the reception and sit with his sister and nieces.  Would they pretty much have a table to themselves?

It sounds like you’re feeling a bit pressured to keep adding on guests… and it makes sense that at some point, having an open door policy on the past would have to stop.  You don’t have to justify your feelings about it and if you’re not comfortable, that’s all that matters.  But… I keep thinking of how I get along with my ex’s family and how nice it is for the kids involved to see such amazing role models in this type of situation.  If it stays positive for the kids, then I say yes.  If it has the potential to break down, no way. 

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