Post # 1
ok me and so have been clashing since the weekend. it all started when he couldnt help me out with this thing im not going to say what becuase it does not matter at the moment. what does matter is that he always promises something and sooner or later big or small promise..breaks it !! i dont know about you bees but breaking lilttle promises big or small is the ultimate peev for me ! ok so when i get upset and angrey with so i just shut down like tottaly shut down . He on the other hand does not see what the big fuss is about even though i explained manyy times many to count that i can not stand when he says hes goin to do something and does not do it or tries and find a way to fix the stiation with me. for example he broke a promise we argue dont speak to one another and then he calls hours later and i ofcourse do not asnwer due to the fact that he took too long and he thinks me not picking up is me playing ignoring games. ok so next morning he textes the same thinggg he textes no matter how big or small the fight is… “good morning.
just like that…like nothing happend the day befor. this is wear i fume with anger and silently NOT ANSWER and the ignoring STARTS. I could ignor him for days becuase he does not acknowledge the problem but erases itall together. laydies i have explained why i ignor him and all the above but yet we still end up in the same situation time and time again.
i just want to know …am i wrong , if yes what can i do..?
This is really pulling a strain in our realationship…
sorry for the spelling people im on my phone writing this mishh mashh !
Post # 3
I would say, instead of ignoring him when he calls or texts you need to tell him straight up that his behavior has got to stop, or you can just tell him that you need some time to cool off before talking things out. You need to talk things through for sure tho. I always tell my FI, don’t tell me you’re going to do something if you don’t plan on doing it. I can get over it easier, if I’m not expecting you to do whatever you said you would do in the first place, rather than being disappointed and angry at you for not keeping your word.
Post # 4
I agree with PP, take some time to cool down, then talk. Never ignore. If he calls and you don’t want to talk, answer and say “I’m not ready to talk, lets talk this through tomorrow” or whenever. Talking things out is the only way to improve things
Post # 5
I also agree that ignoring him is the wrong way to go. It’s totally fine if you don’t want to talk to him or see him for a while, but you should tell him that.
Post # 6
Without communication a relationship won’t succeed. You and your SO need to be able to talk these things out. Shutting down and then ignoring him is hindering the situation and making you even more angry then you were.
I agree with pp’s. If you need time to cool down, then tell him, don’t just ignore him.
Post # 7
thanx guys for your replys, butt i have said all that too him many times, he just ends up doing the same thing and us in the same old ruteen ! i cant take it anymore i love him and miss him but this is childesh if he really loved me he would just call and deal with it like the way i told him it would work…im so mad ! He texted me yesturday saying how im doing this to piss him off and i replyd and told him exactly why but yet he still replyd back with a negative text like, you dont even want to say good morning to me , im not going to beg you to talk to me… wow w.e! onestly i give up , i tried and your still here going around in these circles ?!
Post # 8
In his mind you are playing the catty little “I’m not going to talk to him” games. If that is your only kind of punishment, I can see how he can be annoyed. From his perspective, he’s trying to smooth things over by saying good morning. If you are still mad at him, then tell him, and if he keeps on making the same mistakes and not listening, then, well… he doesn’t respect you and maybe you should end it :/
Post # 9
I know this is slightly old, but your SO kind of has one thing in common with mine. When we fight, I personally like to just cool down and not talk for a little bit (like you seem to), but I have recognized my fault is that I can take a fight too far. As in I hold on to the problem for too long, and don’t focus on getting over it. My SO gets over the problem quickly, and will act like nothing happened and start talking again! This used to irritate me sometimes, but now I have really come to appreciate it.
You have to know which fights are important, and which ones aren’t going to matter a week from now. Or a month from now. I love that he is willing to forgive so quickly, and has the desire to carry on like nothing happened. Because 99 % of the time, the fights really aren’t important, and I am so much happier when focusing on the “good”. So even though I’m stubborn and can stay mad/ignore him for too long, I’m glad that we have different argument strategies- it helps that at least one of us is able to initiate the normal behavior again and just forget that the whole thing happened.
So while you may get frustrated with him and think that he does something you don’t appreciate too often, if you REALLY want to make it work, I think it is important to look at the way he chooses to deal with fights in a GOOD light…it will help you in the long run 🙂
Sorry this was so long!!
Post # 10
As for the promise breaking, I suggest you really sit him down and explain to him how this is not a good relationship builder. You have to be able to trust eachother completely, and not being able to know when he is actually going to do something he says he is going to do makes it hard to trust what he says 100% of the time.
If that doesnt work, I suggest couples counseling?