Post # 1
As salaamu alaikum (peace be upon you) sisters and friends!
I’ve been lurking for a while but noticed that there is like no, None, ZERO activity in the Muslim boards. My SO and I are both liberal but practicing Muslim converts, raised in Christian households, and trying to plan a wedding that reflects who we are as a couple, but also serves as dawah to our majority non-Muslim families.
We could really care less about most of the wedding traditions and plan on everything being nice and laidback yet still resemble a wedding. I will be present for the actual ceremony and we will have it at some kind of venue, not at home or anything like that. I’ve only been to one Muslim wedding and it was small, just very close friends and family and the nikah was held in the living room of the couple and we all just sat around and ate in the various parts of the house afterward…not what we have in mind.
We’re aiming for some kind of fusion ceremony/reception where we can fulfill all the requirements of Islam, teach our family/friends a few things about our religion and still incorporate the festivities (obviously no alcohol). Are there any other Muslim bees out there trying to do the same????
Post # 3
Wa alaikum assalam,
I guess there are no other converts here? I find that hard to believe…
I’m Muslim-born. If you are aiming for dawah, you can opt to have the nikah at the reception site, followed by a short speech by the imam or a prominent speaker in your community.
As far as the requirements of Islam, there are very few, so infusing any culture into a Muslim wedding is not too hard. Feel free to message me if you need any help!
Post # 4
Wa alaykom lsalam,
I am too a muslim-born and my wedding is coming up soon nshAllah. I can suggest few things maybe you will like any. the weddings muslims do really depend on the people and on their culture. back home some people do the nikah and invite lots of people (300). then they have two parties one for women only with music and one for men only. Others do the reception with both men and women without dancing and alcohol but they put islamic music and they just have regular sit down dinners. So it doesnt have to be at home. Its great idea to have a venue and have not so small ceremony.
I can suggest these islamic songs as well, if you are interested or would like to incorporate music:
Post # 5
Congratulations on your wedding!
I’m not Muslim (I’m Presbyterian), but I teach at a Muslim school, so I’m learning a lot about your religion. I look forward to following your wedding planning!
Post # 6
I grew up in a country that was half muslim and my Fiance was raised muslim but doesn’t practice. I could ask him how to hold one and get back to you.
Post # 7
I was also born and raised in a liberal Muslim household (as was my Fi) and we are doing something close to one might consider a fusion wedding!
We are holding both the Nikkah and the reception at a hotel. For the Nikkah, we are walking down a silent “aisle” with our two witnesses as best man/maid of honour. I’m wearing a simple and modest sari for this portion, and Fi is wearing the traditional outfit with head covered.
Our “cocktail hour” consists of non-alcoholic traditional sweet drinks and sweets.
Then, for the reception, I am changing into a western wedding “reception” dress and doing the dinner/dance thing. Our DJ is going to play a fusion of Indian, African, and Western music.
Hope this is helpful 🙂 If you have any questions on how I’m doing any of the ceremonies etc. just ask!
Post # 8
Hey im muslim born Turkish so is my love.We are having a small ceremony with the imam with only close family and later celebrating in a hall with 300 people and with music turkish and english.Also my wedding will be mixed with men and women most people in my family have separate since I am a imams grand daughter but we will have no alchohol.You can still celebrate normaly.You should make lil booklets on each table to let guests know a lil about islam.here is a Turkish muslim wedding example couples taking turnes dancing for eachother.http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jhDzLxlkdP4&feature=related If ur wondering why she is wearing a red belt it signifies pureness virgin etc.
Post # 9
If you are covered a lot of turkish wedding designers have amazing wedding dresses for you. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SrNbIVTaUJQ and turkish muslim brides the day before wedding have a girls only well and ur husband to be if you want on henna night where they say good bye to family dance cry put henna on everyone sings etc.http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bVmG83NNaPg&feature=related
Post # 10
Wow so many responses here. =) Thanks for all your suggestions. I’m thinking of having a short ceremony with an “introduction” where my family and friends can understand the different parts of a nikah (wali, mahr, khutbah). Then my Fiance walk down the aisle with my wali coming second and lastly me. My roommate and her husband will be our official witnesses. Then we’ll sign the contract and listen to a khutbah on the importance of marriage. We’ll have a mixed reception afterwards with a buffet style dinner of heavy hordeourve/finger foods and a blend of jazz, Salsa and African background music. I’m def looking forward to keeping everyone posted on our “modern African American Islamic fusion wedding”.
Post # 11
Sounds great hun hope ur day is more special than you ever imagined insallah and I wish you and your future husband a long happy and healthy life together.
Post # 13
Jazakallah khair and thank you all! I’ll be sure to keep you guys posted God Willing!!
Post # 14
Asalamulakum! My fiance is a convert and his family was apprehensive at first… they are Orthodox. They’ve finally come around to accepting our marriage. We are going to have the Nikkah in a more “western style” as opposed to Pakistani style.. me walking down the aisle, flower girls & bridesmaids (all wearing Pakistani dresses though!), but then an Imam officiating the entire thing with a kutba beforehand and a very Islamic ceremony. We hope this helps to blend both cultures without sacrificing any of the religious aspects. A traditional Pakistani wedding has no flower girls, no bridesmaids. Sometimes, the father accepts on the bride’s behalf. My cousin just did this a few weeks ago at her wedding, and she grew up in America.
My brother had his wedding much more in the sunnah of the Prophet–a small Nikkah at a masjid (your marriage has more barakah the less money is spent on it) followed by a simple lunch, then they had a large Valimah (reception) a few days later. I suppose bringing up the “simplicity” of a wedding in the Kutba might help to teach your family about your new faith a little bit. 🙂 If you have questions or need help please feel free to ask!
Post # 15
My good friend is a Canadian convert. She and her husband incorporated about 6 different traditions into their wedding to honour their very multiethnic backgrounds. She is a great blogger and has one or two posts about her wedding (but would probably be happy to give you more specific details if you messaged her directly). And if you identify as ‘liberal,’ you’ll probably like a lot of what she writes.
Post # 16
@pakistanibride: Thank you so much for reminding me of that hadith about the money spent on weddings. I think I really needed to hear that because things have started to get a little more extravagant than I’d like them to in my head, hahaha. …Repeating to myself “simple is best..simple is best…”. Thank you again for the reminder!