(Closed) AmI being manipulated? WWYD?

posted 6 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
9614 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2019

i am really sorry to hear about this 🙁 you will not seem like a bitch at all for not inviting her! I would still try to talk to her about non wedding related topics, so you can be sure about whether her apology was sincere or not. best of luck! *hugs*

Post # 4
Member
9626 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2012

I think you should trust your instincts on this one.  She’s not likely to change her character, and you’ve known her long enough to know what you’re in for if you resume a friendship with her.  I do feel she’s trying to manipulate you.  I would keep my distance, be polite, but don’t get drawn into her drama any more.  As far as not involving her in the wedding, I’m sure everyone will understand your reasons since your wedding date isn’t too far off.  You can always say it was too far into the planning and nothing personal against her.  If she gets in she might cause you more drama and grief for you, like she’s always done, and who needs that with a wedding?

Post # 5
Member
1200 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2012

Too much drama… I would just let it go and drop the friendship. Sounds like it’s been one-sided and brings negativity to your life…

Post # 6
Member
1659 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

Keep your distance…like permanently. You can be cordial and have this person in your life, but not as a close friend otherwise the drama cycle will keep repeating. I can’t prove that she has an MO related to your wedding, but I’m sure she thinks it’s a good way to try and get back Ito your life.

Post # 7
Member
3618 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

Go with your gut. She sounds a little cray cray to me. I wouldn’t invite her to your wedding unless you want all that drama on your big day.

Post # 8
Member
269 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

I’m in a similar situation. For me, it came down to whether the friend in question really added something to my life and that the friendship was positive + uplifting. Did her friendship do that for you?

In terms of her coming around and beating around the bush before giving you an apology, I’m sure you are right in your assumption about her feeling left out. She could be someone who has a hard time saying that she was wrong and wants to forgive and forget–without going through the proper motions of forgiving.

This is eerily similar to what I have going on with an old friend, and I ended up inviting her to the wedding and ‘resolving’ things, however I leave the ball in her court in terms of hanging out. I think you should do what feels right to you, and not worry about your mutual friend’s thoughts about you. It’s your day and you should be surrounded by people who love + support your relationship. Best of luck!

Post # 10
Member
1141 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

I can’t tell from your post if the drama is at her end or your end. I would just accept it at face value and be done!

Post # 11
Member
4275 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

Honestly? I don’t do well with needy people and this is what she is.  I wouldn’t talk to her again. I would explain the situation to the friend in common and leave it at that. I wouldn’t feel sorry about it in the least. Friends bring you up, not down….

Post # 14
Member
3569 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

I don’t if she manipulating you or just falling back into what appears to be a cycle between you too. I think this is a toxic relationship and it’s time to just let it go.

Post # 15
Member
11273 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2012

@ambereyez:  my question to you would be: over that year when you were not talking, how did you feel?  did you miss her?  you probably thought about her but did you really miss her and want to see or call her?  if you didn’t, then i think you have your answer.  let her go.

i personally don’t like to spend time with people like this.  you should surround yourself with positive, supportive friends. 

this girl sounds like she only thinks of what’s best for her.  you don’t need friends like that.  you have been supportive towards her but have received nothing back.  that to me is one-sided.  put your energy elsewhere.

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