Post # 1
What is the “right,” for a lack of a better word, amount of involvement for in laws have when you are planning your wedding.
1. I am NOT close with my FI’s family (mom and sister) at all. Actually I only see them when there is a birthday or major holiday. 2. My Future Sister-In-Law is suppose to be getting married about 4 months before me. Hers is a destination wedding so I am not sure how much planning she is doing.3. My side of the family is paying for everything and I am not a “detailed” bride. I only care about what the bridesmaids and groomsmen are wearing. None of our family will be in the bridal party.
Considering all of this, especially since my Future Sister-In-Law is having her own wedding right before mine- how much exactly am I “suppose” to be including his mom and his sister on my wedding planning? I haven’t included them at all at this point, mainly because I didn’t want to seem like I am taking thunder away from my Future Sister-In-Law but I am not sure how this is making me look, especially since I don’t care to spend time with them except for when I have to. There have been disagreeements and misunderstandings in the past and I feel it is better for me to keep my distance. The count down to my wedding starts next month and so my planning is going to increase in intensity, especially after the holidays. I also really don’t care for anyone’s input besides my FI’s.
Post # 3
With a month left, do you still have your bridal shower and bachelorette or did that already take place (if you chose to have them)? If you didn’t invite them to those things and they didn’t ask, I would assume that the whole “get involved” ship has sailed. There is really nothing for them to do and it’s not like you should ask them to help you with all the last minute errands if they haven’t done anything so for or offered their help.
Some people are best left at a distance and if you’ve exhausted every option of trying to be friendly with them, it’s best to just keep it civil at this point.
Post # 4
I am not getting married until next year. My planning will be in full force after the holidays are over.
Post # 5
So basically I should wait for them to offer help? I like that idea, I just didn’t know if I am suppose to be forward with it as I rather them not do anything but show up to the wedding. I will invite my Future Sister-In-Law and Future Mother-In-Law to my shower but not the bachelorette party.
Post # 6
I don’t think they are any set rules. If you would rather them show up to the wedding, I think that’s fine. That’s about what we are doing.
Post # 7
youre not obligated to involve them especially if youre not close to them. i feel your pain. stand your ground
Post # 8
I have a bad relationship with them, so the farther they are away from me, the better!
They are showing up to the wedding, my shower is from my friend/mom and they are unaware it is even going on. Also, my bachelorette is being thrown by my friends,it’s a girl friend only night and they’re not invited either.
I would say if they offer to do anything, let them (if you have a good or at least neutral relationship)
If they don’t offer just invite.
I think it’s okay to pick whatever involvement YOU want them to have. Pick whatever makes you happy or less stressed. It’s your day or your parties and you don’t have to invite anyone you don’t want to. It’d be a nice gesture, but you don’t have to do anything.