An Angry Husband

posted 2 years ago in Relationships
Post # 2
Member
4147 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

Is your husband my ex?  Ugh.

He alienated me from my friends, got mad if he thought I was looking at other males (old, young, middle aged, teenagers, anyone who was a male.)

And then he started getting physical.  I’m talking bruises that lasted for days, trying to throw me down the stairs, ripping almost every piece of clothing I owned while I was wearing it, breaking a mirror and throwing the shards…

He was SO paranoid that I would cheat on him…and he ended up being the cheater. 

You need to get out.  Make a safe escape for you and your son…it will be terrifying at first, but I promise you, your life will be SO much better….You can breathe again.  It’s worth it. 

Post # 3
Member
3338 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

Run. You deserve so much more than this! He is super controlling and manipulative. And since he is not open to counseling it doesn’t sound like he will change anytime soon. Do you want your son to have this man as a role model? Hugs and best of luck to you. I hope you can find thr strength to leave.

Post # 4
Member
527 posts
Busy bee

You are sleeping with the enemy. I am so sorry. Do you have family to turn to?

Post # 5
Member
1583 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2014

shakazulu:  You need to get out of this relationship. You are decribing and extremely manipulative and controlling man. This is emotional abuse plain and simple. Get out before it becomes phyical as well.

Post # 6
Member
527 posts
Busy bee

Ok, missed the part about your family. Tell them immediately and let them help you!

Post # 7
Member
851 posts
Busy bee

 

He is isolating you, and that is extremely common among abusers. Your husband may not be physically striking you, but his irrational anger is extremely worrying, and I would be very suprised if he doesn’t escalate.

Post # 8
Member
791 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

SilverWire:  +1

This is already abuse, IMO. Please seek out your family and take some time apart while you explore your options. 

Post # 9
Member
4797 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

shakazulu:  Just so you know, he’s not being a good father if he’s treating the mother of his child like this. He’s setting a terrible example as well. I would leave. That’s pretty scary.

Post # 10
Member
2580 posts
Sugar bee

I had a very abusive ex and this is a major sign of abuse. Limiting your contact with others is a form of control over you. Abusers do this so you are more dependent on them and feel like you cannot leave. MY ex used to limit my friends ,contact with my family ,I could not go anywhere unless it was with him and with his friends, and when I did manage to go out by myself I would be interigated when I got back.

 

I am not sure how long you have been together but eventually ( after 3 years) my situation did become violent. This behavior is NOT OK and is definitly not normal

I left my ex after 6 years of thinking that someone controling my every move andf hitting me was ok. Leaving was difficult as I had no control over money, no vehicle, and little to no friends ( he did these things so I could not leave). It was shear hell but I am so thankful I did and you will be too.

Post # 11
Member
42469 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

Contact the Domestic Abuse Hotline for information and referral to local resources.

 http://www.thehotline.org/http://www.thehotline.org/

If you have any concerns that he monitors your internet history phone the toll free number

1-800-799-7233 

His treatment of you will surely affect your child whether he ever lays a hand on this child or not. Your child is growing up in this environment and learning that this is an acceptable way to treat women.

Post # 12
Member
527 posts
Busy bee

Are you sure he’s not monitoring your internet activity, as well?

Post # 13
Member
232 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: Aug 30th, 2014

This is very classic abusive behaviour – isolating you from your support network, blaming you for breaking the rules, can be charming to others but treats you differently. Leave, now.

Post # 15
Member
286 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: January 2014

I almost married a man like this. What you are saying sounds disturbingly familiar to me and my heart goes out to you.

I want to tell you to run – far away and as fast as you can, but I realize it might not be that simple, especially with a child involved. What I would suggest you do in this case is to seek help on your own before beginning to try to change your relationship. Eventually, leaving might be the only thing you can do, but you need help through this as well.

Someone who treats you like this is not doing it out of love. Shockingly little of what is going on here is about you at all – you’re not doing anything wrong or making him angry – he would be this way with anyone he was married to. Be kind to yourself, and try to put yourself, instead of him, first for a little while. It’s so easy to fall into these patterns and feel like they’re chains, but they’re not, they’re just patterns, and you can change them.

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