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I have been engaged since December 06, our wedding will be in December 09. I guess I was never in a rush to get married in the first place, even after he asked me, so it really wasn't a big deal of waiting. There was too much pressure on us to do it right after we got engaged but to be honest, we just waited until the time to actually have a wedding felt right. It feels right now.
Like you we also live together. I guess I don't see it as an issue of being half-married because we have been together for so long. I just don't think the paper will change anything even though people think it will- except for the fact that our car insurance will go down. Yay!
I got engaged on New Year's Eve '07/'08, and we're getting married in two weeks, so that's almost a month engagement. We also live together, own a house together, we're really young etc... so there wasn't a huge rush to get married. Also, we ended up planning the whole wedding in only 7 months (we didn't start until November) so planning a wedding in only a few months is definitely do-able.
I think the length of the engagement is really individual to each couple. We chose to wait for several reasons, including financial and career-related. If you don't have any reason to wait, I say don't! I really enjoyed being engaged, but I can totally see why it might be frustrating for someone else. Just think about what you and your Fi want, and ignore the snarky comments (really? is pregnancy the only reason for a wedding nowadays?) 
We got engaged in November 2007 and by the time we're married this August, we'll have been together for over eight years! The long engagement was great, because we had first pick for most of our big vendors, and were able to take a planning break before starting up again!
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Simtimes I feel like I would love to me married this fall. We have been engaged since December 08' and are getting married June of 2010. We chose to get married next yr to have more time to plan, to be able to stretch our dollar a bit by finding great deals, getting our venue at a great rate and b/c we needed a lil more time to save. If we were planning to have a smaller wedding (like 50 people) then we would have definately done it this fall. In the end I know i'll be happy I waited when I see all the planning and hard work but I am not a patient person so I know at times it will drive me nuts....
I would say if you want a wedding now...then have a wedding now. But a longer engagement makes it a more relaxing time to plan. Not having to run around trying to book everything and find everything you really want. I found a gown I really want and Im trying to locate a sample...and Ive called 4 places so far who dont have it. And since we are now 1 yr till our wedding I still have time to find it. We got engaged last July and our wedding is Next April. We are both big procrastinators and need time to save money as well. We have the venue booked, the photography and the DJ, but there is still a lot to do! Good luck and I hope you just go with your heart...and first start with a plan, go to sites like Brides.com or TheKnot.com where they can give you a budget list and you can see everything that is needed for a wedding...more or less to your own style.
I will be engaged 3 years almost to the day. The long engagement had to do with saving money (which we didnt save a whole lot anyway) and there just not being any rush. We live together, and decided to wait until it was good for the schedule. Even though we had a long engagement, the nuts and bolts of planning and booking didn't really start to happen until about 9 months before. Though, remember that a lot of venues book up to a year in advance if you want a specific date.
We got engaged this past NYE and always knew we'd have a summer wedding. We both love summer, and I teach (and will be in grad school next year) so it's pretty much the only season that made sense in terms of time off.
I am kinda loving it though. First pick of vendors! And we're getting loads done now so that (hopefully? maybe?) the end stretch won't be stressful. Plus we can chip away at the payments.Of course, we may become impatient by this time next year. We've only just begun.
Maybe instead of thinking of yourself as "half-married" you could try to embrace the idea of being "afianced" and have fun with it? Like you can say, "my fiaaaaaaaaannncee" as many times a day as you can since you'll never be able to do it again! 
We got engaged Feb 15th this year, and will be married on October 24th ... so eight months.
Which I feel is going by soooooooooooo fast! We dated for like 2 years.
I totally understand where you are coming from! when we originally got engaged, in reality I wanted to go to the JOP...we're both 29 (about to be 30) and I didn't understand the wait...we've been together 7 years, lived together for 4 of those years, have combined finances, etc...money wasn't an issue (if we decided to do a big wedding...which is what we're ending up doing) so it wasn't like we needed to "save up" either...I was sooo frustrated that FI wanted to wait...when we get married we would have been engaged for almost a year and a half! most of my friends who got engaged after me have already had their weddings so that was a source of frustration as well...but I've soldiered through it and now we're a little more than 4 months from the date! It depends on how fast you are, but I totally planned the wedding in about 6 months...3 for research and another 3 to book everything...
We got engaged in October 2009, and will be getting married in December 2010. I did the bulk of the planning almost immediately and it was really nice being able to pick my photographer, DJ, venue, etc. without worrying about them already being booked. It's also nice that I don't have to stress about whether things will be done on time. The downside (my fiance pointed this out to me) is that now I have TOO much time to think about the nitpicky details...enough time to become obsessed with things I don't really need, like personalized matchbooks. I think I'm probably spending more money than I would have if we'd had a shorter engagement. Plus, I AM ready to just get married! But, as the above poster suggested, I'm also trying to enjoy the one time in my life I'll be a fiancee. I'm enjoying wearing my e-ring all by itself, looking at wedding blogs and seeing all the amazing, creative things other ladies are doing, and talking to people about weddings and marriage. It's somehow a better conversation starter to be engaged than married! People like to tell you all about their wedding, their parents' wedding, their thoughts on marriage, etc.
Perhaps you should start looking at venues (or photographers or DJs, whatever is really important to you). You might find that your heart is so set on a particular place (or person), that you want to set the date around that.
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My Fiancee and I will be engaged for just over 2 yrs when wer get married. I'm working on a PhD full time, so I felt that I needed the time to plan (esp. since I'm a perfectionist).
Though, there are definetely days where I wish that we would jsut go to the court house and get married today, I'm getting more and more excited for our big day, ( We are at 19 month mark!)
We haven't even set a date, although everyone is pushing for it. We just got engaged in December (08). Although we could go to JOP, neither of us are really in a rush. Even though we probably won't get married til summer 2010, I consider this a great way to plan at my leisure. I'm very indecisive, but a perfectionist too, and I need plenty of time to mull over ideas.
FI refuses any ideas that don't involve the beach and summer weather, so that's about all I have planned. And there's no way I was going to stress myself out by having less than a year to plan even the simplest of weddings.
We already own a home, both have good jobs, and don't plan on having kids in the next few years. So I kind of consider myself lucky to have the "engaged" time that we will have.
Thanks for your comments, everyone!
I was having some serious problems with my family and the wedding location. It got really bad, and I couldn't imagine dealing with this for over a year. So, we pushed up the wedding date. Thankfully, though, yesterday my mom whole-heartedly apologized for being unreasonable and I've feeling better about the situation. (Long story short -- my parents wanted to plan the wedding for us, 300 miles from where my FI and I live, without my or my fiance's input. They even "took away" the money they had "given" us and said that the groom's family wasn't important--a wedding is for the bride's family. There was also crying and guilt trips involved. Y e a h...)
So I'm feeling better and I'm feeling better about a longer engagement.
Thanks everyone!
Best Wishes!
I was engaged on 12/25/08 and we are getting married on 6/6/09. I just didn't want to be one of those people who waited over a year. For some that is great but I'm a do it and get it done type of person. Plus, if you want to get married in the first place, why not go ahead and do it?
I got engaged Feb 4 2009 and the wedding is Sept 12 2009. It's only been 2 and a half months and I'm soooo ready to get married. A year or more would have been too long for me to wait. I actually wish we had picked August but FI and both our families strongly hinted that they liked September better. So September it is.
We got engaged July 2007 and are getting married May 2009. Thats a year and 10 months!
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We have an 11 month engagement - established, older, and wanted to "get it done!" But when we looked at venues, the first real available options for us were in the fall of 09 (ie, about a year engagement). So that is what we went with.
I think if you can manage the stress of doing it in less time and your FI is on board, why not go for it this fall!
That said, the engagement period tends to FLY by. Once you really get into planning, the time REALLY flies. We've been engaged for about five months five months and have less than 6 to go to the Big Day and it seems like we got engaged yesterday. So, if you do wait, I am sure it will not seem like it's taking forever!
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We got engaged in March 2006... and we are finally getting married in June! I know that sounds ridiculous, but when we got engaged, FH and I thought we were going to be several hundred miles apart for grad school, and didn't want to get married until we could be in the same place. Luckily, we didn't end up having to be so far apart, but we had already set the wedding date. Instead of changing everything, we decided to keep it June '09, after my graduation. At times, such a long engagement has been annoying, but all in all, it has worked out well for us. Having so much time has made the planning less stressful, at least.
Ours is 20 months and I REALLY wish it had been shorter. We got engaged in December '07, and FI really wanted an October wedding. I was convinced that there was no way I could pull off planning a wedding during my first year of law school, so it automatically bumped it out to October '09. Now I'm equally convinced that I could have done it just fine...but it is what it is, and at least we've got less than 6 months to go now!
I think whatever style works for you is great! 6 months is totally enough time if you want to do it that way, but of course you may not get your #1 vendor picks, etc. That may not be priority for you.
When we first got engaged I wanted to get married within a year, but due to work stuff we've ended up having a year and a half engagement. I was so anxious and really wished we could get married sooner, but some wise people told me to enjoy it. The engagement period is so short relatively and pretty fun actually. You have the rest of your lives to be married.
...that being said, with about 2 months left I am ready to have a HUSBAND instead of this fiance stuff 
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Due to my school, we postponed our wedding until September of 2010, which was 26 months away when we got engaged. I am sooooooo happy that we went this route. Literally, we've been able to have everything we wanted for a wedding because we have all the time in the world to do all necessary research and revamping before settling. I am enjoying being engaged every moment. I think that for me, a short engagement would have been WAY stressful.
By the time our wedding rolls around, though, we will want to start having our babies right away. I kinda think we are honeymooning early though... who knows!
Ours was almost right at the 18 month mark. I'm surprised that so many who voted are in that same range; in our group of friends & family 6 months is the norm and people thought we were crazy to wait so long. I think the length of engagement really depends on where the couple is in life. My FI sister got engaged exactly 1 week after us and she is getting married at the beginning of June so she had like 5 months to plan but her and her FI are also older than us, have established careers, and a house so it made sense for them. We chose a long engagement because we are both finishing up with school so we wanted more time to find jobs and have time for him to settle into his apartment (which will be ours after the wedding). So for us, it just made sense to have more time to deal with everything since there are so many other changes happening in our lives right now.
But, I wish it were different. I'm ready to be married now. but the last 5 months have really flown by, so maybe it will go quick!
Got engaged May 18. Wedding is June 20th, the following year. It was great....i planned, took a 3-month hiatus, and am planning again. You want to enjoy your engagement!
That being said, my mother got engaged in September, and got married in 4 WEEKS. Nope, wasn't preggo. Just said "why wait? let's do it NOW!" I came along 2 YEARS later. They just enjoyed being married.
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we didn't want a long engagement, but it just happened that way for us. We got engaged in may 2008, and are getting married in september 2009. Besides getting the dress and the location, we didn't start planning until january/february.
We're getting married a year from the day he proposed and I wish I had more time! Juggling school, studying for the bar, remembering to breathe and planning a wedding is a bit much for me at times.
BUT, if you want to get married this fall, then go for it! It's a matter of how you plan and how you want your wedding to be. Just make sure you start telling people now, otherwise a lot of them may not be able to attend.
I totally wanted to just get it over with! We've been engaged 1 yr 7 months. By the time we get married we will have been engaged over 2 yrs. I was shooting for Oct. 2008, then Oct. 2009. We waited so long because of money issues and not knowing how much our families would contribute. Finally, his mom said lets do this and worry aboust cost later. So, we did. Unfortunately, Oct 2009 was booked up where we wanted to have the wedding. So, we decided on Mar 2010, because the vene is optimal for an outside ceremony. Also, even though we did not want to wait until 2010, a close friend we wanted in the wedding party is on duty in Iraq and would not return until Dec 2009. So, it is all working out.
I do get impatient sometimes. We live together as well, own a home, and are both raising my two boys from a previous marriage. I was starting to get really annoyed with people getting engaged after us and married before us, but it is all about the day you want. We are getting exactly what we wanted now. We didn't want a quickie ceremony at the courthouse or something like that. If that was the case we could have done this 1 year and a half ago. Our relationship is awesome and some of those other people that got married before us, might even get divorced before we even get married as well. We are getting a day to celebrate with our family and friends and to make our union official and make sure everyone we know KNOWS that and partakes of the event! ;)
We got engaged in May 08 and will be getting married September 09. It seemed like a long time, but now we are less than 5 months out!
we got engaged in February and are getting married in July. While 5 months may seem crazy short to a lot of people (trust me, they tell me often!), its perfect for us. We're young and the timing works. And I just didn't want to be engaged forever, we got engaged because we knew we were ready to get married. We only need long enough to plan a wedding :) But I think everyone has different reasons for why their length works for them!
We got engaged in July 08 and we still don't have a date set! :) It's just about what's right for the couple and what fits with their lives, I guess. We have been together for almost 8 years now, so waiting a little longer to get married isn't a big deal for us. But we've both just graduated from college and we are still trying to establish our careers... we could be moving anywhere in the coming months/year. Once we figure out what we'll be doing and where we'll be, then we'll set a date and start planning.
I have a feeling I'm not alone in being a Weddingbee addict even before I'm actually planning anything, though!
He proposed in December 2008. We're getting married in August -- so about 8 months. That is MORE than enough time for me -- but I really like planning stuff. In fact, if we could move it up a month or a month and a half, I think we would be just fine.
Will have been engaged for a little over a year and a half. I am a planner, so I like to make sure all of the details are well taken care of and I do not have to rush to make decisions. Plus, I wanted a fall wedding, and planning in less than a year just did not seem comfortable!
I think you have to be comfortable with your decision based on how you plan and how quickly you want to get married. It is very much a personal decision for the most part.
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I'm not good with long-term projects. I like to get things done and move on. But, lately I've been receiving some pressure to wait until spring 2010 to have the wedding--even from my fiance. I wanted to set an October 2009 date. A nice, fall wedding would be lovely. An eight month engagement would be okay, ten months tolerable, but that lands in the middle of winter and I would prefer either fall or spring. I can't imagine being engaged 13 months! It seems like a waste of time, being "half-married" for so long! Seven months sounds MUCH more reasonable.
I'm 29, he's 31, we live together, we're both established in our careers, so why wait? Contrary to the WIC opinion, planning a wedding in six-months is totally do-able. Six months is a long time!
On the other hand, my folks (who are a whole can of worms on to themselves) think I want to push up the wedding date because they think I'm pregnant. Apparently the thought of a six-month engagement is just that foreign to them...!)
I know there are a lot of you out there with super long engagements like mine. My question is, how on earth have you been surviving all of this? Have you wanted to just "get it over with?" I mean, we got engaged one month ago and I am already kind of "done" with this whole engagement thing--what's an entire year going to be like? Gaa!
I'd like a spring wedding, but would prefer it to be this spring--like, in, say a month.
Thanks in advance for your wisdom!
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