Post # 1
I recently read an article that said an astonishing number of women human resources reps say they probably wouldn’t hire a woman who is wearing a large/impressive wedding or engagement ring to the interview. Their reasoning? You have a wealthy man to take care of you, so you don’t need nor deserve the job.
I have a large engagement ring that looks more expensive than it is. The center stone, if it were a good diamond, would cost an entire year’s salary. However, it is aquamarine and therfore much cheaper. I get a lot of comments from strangers about my ring, since it is very unique.
That being said, I am also painfully unemployed and looking frantically for a job. I have made the decision to not wear my ring to interviews, as to avoid being pulled from the candidate list for something as petty as jealousy and sexist thinking.
What are your thoughts on this? Have you experienced this problem while job searching? Do you purposely take off your ring in certain situations to avoid comments or jealousy?
Post # 3
I’ve kind of worried about this too. I don’t know if there is any truth to this, but I still don’t take my ring off.
Post # 4
Man I hope thats not true.
I spent months saving up for a coach purse/wallet/keychain set, my ring is a 2ct white sapphire, and last year my big purchase was a lambskin leather jacket.
I might never get another job =/
But no one has ever said anything except my “richer” customers, one of them gave me shit for wearing 2cts at a fast food place. I tend to just ignore them, but when I get back out into jab market…this could really suck for me.
Post # 5
I haven’t made up my mind yet. I have a sorta interview on Monday. I think I will wear the band only. Then again I didn’t change my name but I don’t want to lie about being legally married.
I have a 1.25 carat diamond solitaire that looks big because of my small fingers, it cost him a lot less than its “worth” because I already had the setting and he got a discount on it. I don’t wear it out unless I know I’m somewhere that I consider safe, or I wear it and turn the diamond in so it looks like a plain band. I don’t want people to pass me over because of this. I am the one the makes the most money in the relationship as well so me being unemployed is not good and I need to get a job, I don’t want anything stupid like this to hurt my chances.
Post # 6
I’ve heard this rumor about wearing wedding/engagement related jewelry regardless of size or worth. Most of the time it seems to be because they think that if you are married you either have kids or plan on getting pregnant and having them soon, both of which can be considered a distraction. I think that if it makes you feel safer to not wear them when you interview, then definitely leave them at home. For me personally as a teacher (which is a very family oriented job), I opted to wear my ring when to my interview and even disclosed that the reason I was moving to the area was because my Darling Husband was from that area. I think that actually made them feel better about hiring me, because they knew I had no plans of leaving the area any time soon. I think you’ve got to do what feels right for you and what feels right in the situation.
Post # 7
I dont buy it. I was hired at my current job wearing my e ring. I was interviewed by a man and a woman together.
Post # 8
I’m a teacher and having seen a SMT I used to work for actually say “no more 20’s-early 30’s women” after 5 staff went on maternity leave at the same time…I wouldn’t feel comfortable wearing mine really.
Post # 9
I can totally understand the logic behind not hiring someone with a really expensive ring, but that goes for any piece of jewelry and it’s not so much because they have a husband to take care of them, but more because they obviously either 1) aren’t hurting for money or 2) don’t spend their money wisely. Either way, it’s not somebody I would want working for me because I’d be concerned they wouldn’t take the job seriously enough because they’re not dependant on the income (if option 1 applies) or that if they do need the income to survive, they’re just making bad choices with spending more than they can afford to on fancy jewelry and I’d be worried that that would carry over into their work. I’m sure a lot of you would consider that unfair, and maybe it is to some degree, but I can totally understand why some folks (men and women both) would think that way. I suppose it depends somewhat on the type of job you’re going for is and the payscale that comes with it though. I would think it would be much more appropriate to wear that type of thing to an interview for a job with a starting pay in the six figures than for a job with starting pay in the $20k-$60k range.
Post # 10
@mg1363: This idea does make some sense too. It might not be fair, but not a lot about the work environment is fair at the moment it seems. 🙁
Post # 11
I choose not to spend a whole lot of time thinking about this. I will just throw on a band instead of my big e-ring, and let that be the end of it.
I’m a psychology major, and interestingly enough, sometimes I choose not to understand the motives of others as it can be incredibly overwhelming.
Post # 12
I think it varies a lot by field, probably. Legally, they can’t ask you if you’re married or if you plan to have children. They CAN ask you if you’ll be able to meet the scheduling demands of the job, though. Unfortunately, as much as it’s inappropriate for them to hire or not hire you based on your marital status and perceived wealth, it probably does happen. It’s unfortunate because I believe men will be more likely to be hired if they’re married (in many fields, anyway) but the same may not be true for women.
Post # 13
@Anardana: Yeah…my boss told me not to get pregnant right away.
I can’t decide how I feel about the ring thing. I really do think there is truth to it, and that blows.
Post # 14
I have an interview on Monday and I think I’ve decided to only wear my wedding band.
Post # 15
@jillybeanrose: I’veactually heard that some employers shy away from hiring engaged or newlywed women because they think the women will want to start a family shortly after being hired. It sucks that it is that way, but I guess you either take the chance of not getting a job or take off your ring. Job searching really sucks
Post # 16
- Wedding: November 2013 - St. Augustine Beach, FL
Big ring usually equals a husband that “can take care of you so why are you working?” to an employer. I have seen this happen over and over again. Ever been asked what your husband does for a living? Totally legal question but they’re asking so they can assess how much he makes and how likely you could afford to become a stay at home mom once you have kids.
I suggest turning the engagement ring under or just wearing your wedding band to an interview. It’s none of their business how expensive your ring is but if you wear it they’re going to look and possibly make assumptions that may cost you a job offer.
And yes, I am guilty of this. While working at an office one of the girls got proposed to with a massive ring (an egg) and we all knew that her fiance was a doctor. The first question from everybody was “so when is your last day?”