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an insult to engaged couples (vent)

posted 2 years ago in Relationships
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    1.
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    Buzzing bee
    JewishBride    June 13, 2010   Michigan

    i was just told today by a girl who is engaged to a boy going to the same university as my fiance that she has been cheating on him for the past 3 months (they've only been dating for 6). I was so ticked! You guys are ENGAGED! if you're interested in other people, don't strap yourself down like that. We are both going through long distance relationships and she's taking it badly (obviously). i am proud to say that i have been completly loyal to my wonderful fiance and that we have a very stable relationship and don't have to worry about either of us having feelings for other people. This girl told me a few months ago that she was jealous of my pretty ring and said the only reason she wanted to get "engaged" was for a diamond. NOw, she complains about how tiny it is and how it's a fake stone. Man, she's the type that gives young engaged couples a bad name.

    sorry if i sounded unfair or dramatic during this venting session. some people just make me angry. please forgive me! i don't usually do anything like this=)

     
    2.
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    moderndaisy    June 2010  

    Ouch.. well obviously any girl who would make those comments about her own ring doesn't want to get engaged for the right reasons. How did she get a ring so soon anyway? Do they even know each other - obviously not if he thinks she actually wants to marry him while she's cheating away. 

    Definitely distance yourself from her - you don't need those negative vibes around you during such a happy time in your life. 

     
    3.
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    Bee Keeper
    eloping    May 23, 2010  

    this isnt necessarily an insult to engaged couples but all committed couples.

    i have noticed so many young women that want a wedding (ie the ring, the dress the status & attention) but have very little thought to the actual marriage and long term committment. ive even started to hear the term "starter marriage" in articles - yikes

    personally i would not be comfortable being friends with someone like this and i would distance myself also

     

     

     
    4.
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    corpsebride    TBD   California

    Wow...it takes all types, I suppose. I still don't have a ring *sigh* We're trying to save money. I don't have high hopes for folks jumping into marriage for the wrong reasons, though -- it certainly requires a kind of maturity that not everyone has at certain ages. Thanks for sharing this, it puts things in perspective.

     
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    Helper bee
    LittleOctopus    October 10, 2010   Raleigh, NC

    Oh man.  You should forward her the links to Miss Star's Young-ish Bride series...maybe she'd see that you have to be in it for a little more than a ring.  My FH and I are both "Young-ish" ourselves, but I think we're in it for the right reasons.  I'd vent if I heard that too, JewishBride.

     
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    arilen    7-10-10   Monroe, LA

    If she'd been cheating on him for 3 out of 6 months then what kind of relationship could they expect to have?  Seriously, she isn't thinking about anything that goes into a marriage if right now the big problem is a small diamond.  Wait till the bills start coming in.  I wouldn't talk to this person anymore, I agree with eloping, it does give committment a bad name. 

     
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    Buzzing bee
    JewishBride    June 13, 2010   Michigan

    I feel so bad for her "fiance" b/c he's really nice and shy...kind of like mine. She's really controlling so i bet it was all her idea. she forces him to call her 6 times a day (at least). neither of them hasjobs and their going to live apart (different sides of the state) once they get married. how does that make sense?

    but what triggered this was she was complaining that my fiance gets out of class at 4pm on friday and was driving her fi  down w/ him (i haven't seen him in over a month) and they wouldn't be here till 10pm. she wanted me to tell hm to skip class. i thought it was very rude, esspecially when he doesn't have to.

    i am planning on distancing myself from her. i don't want her tainting my views on marriage. lol

     
    8.
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    Buzzing bee
    Minutiae    May 2011  

    Someone save that man before he marries the beyotch! All the nice people seem to end up with the worst partners, what's up with that? (Lucky for me a beyotch decided she liked money more than her great husband, so now I get a chance at being the wife he deserved all along :P ). That's rough though. Have you told him, or thought about telling him about what his fiance is doing?

     
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    pocketprincess    March 20, 2010   Texas

    I am going to be 30 when I get married! I don't have the time or energy to have a "starter marriage"

     
    10.
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    Buzzing bee
    JewishBride    June 13, 2010   Michigan

    my fiance and the poor man's friend has told him. of course he doesn't believe them.....his fiancee is very manipulative! i agree with you on the starter marriage! when i get married it's for good! i'm very raditional about things like that. i'm so happy for your good fortune. i'm just sorry that your soon to be husband had to go through that situation to find you. i'm sure their relationship won't last long. knowing the girl it won't, she's infamous for having a new bf every 2 weeks! besides, they're not planning on really "marrying" for another 4 years. a lot can happen....

     
    11.
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    MrsSpinella09    December 19, 2009   West Virginia

    Yeah, Engaged people who only get engaged for the title, or for the diamond annoys me too.... So bad.

    One of my Fh's friends and his Gf got engaged about half a year ago, right after they had broken up. They dated for a little while and you could tell they only got engaged, Just because. it made me so angry... Yeah, needless to say, they broke up after she swindled him into paying $800 on a townhouse, and she started dating a new guy the day after.. not kidding.

    Its bad... Im only 20, and my fiance is 21, so I guess I speak for some engaged couples out there when I say not all of us are immature and actually want to get married. I completely agree with you JewishBride.

     
    12.
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    Buzzing bee
    star    October 11, 2009   New York, NY!

    Ugh, that is so irritating. THAT is why people don't take us young-ish brides seriously! Grr.

     
    13.
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    Bumble bee
    Querida       Sugar Land, TX

    It's wrong.  So sorry you have to be dealing with that!  I bet you wish she hadn't told you?!  Sometimes ignorance into other people's lives IS bliss.

    And by the way - way to go for having some morals and values. 

     
    14.
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    Bumble bee
    melodicsighs1    May 22, 2010   San Diego

    Man, I really feel sorry for her guy. I've seen so many engagements broken lately, and it really is discouraging to see so many people not take being engaged and married and everything seriously.

     
    15.
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    Bee Keeper
    lilyfaith    June 23, 2012   Lakeview, Chicago

    Geesh, I don't even have my ring yet - we're still in college, and the money's just not there, so we're making payments on it. I couldn't imagine committing to someone (esp. so young) if you valued the ring more than the person! How sad. 

     
    16.
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    Buzzing bee
    JewishBride    June 13, 2010   Michigan

    I'm so glad you ladies agree! She is the reason whyyng engaged couples have a bad reputation. i was surprised that she wasn't happy about marrying this guy! it was like she didn't even care what happened AFTER the wedding. like......he would just suddenly evaporate and she would get all the pretty things and attention with out having to make a commitment.

     
    17.
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    Bumble bee
    melodicsighs1    May 22, 2010   San Diego

    side note, but related to the issue of wanting the ring more than the commitment/guy:

    I was talking about my wedding with a bunch of girls at work who were curious yesterday, and when my dress came up, they asked how much it cost and about my shopping experience, etc. They were shocked at how much cost and thought goes into wedding dress shopping and one girl said "I was watching 'say yes to the dress' and it's amazing, really - most girls are more particular about finding the right dress than the right guy." Her comment really offended me, and I didn't know how to react - true, I was just describing my dress in great detail, but I certainly care about my FI more than the dang dress!

     
    18.
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    Sugar bee
    2dBride    October 6, 2009   Washington, DC.

    Well, dang, clearly I got it all wrong--my FI and I decided not to have engagement rings.  We figured that the point of marriage was loving each other and wanting to be together for life, not acquiring large rocks on our fingers.

    Sorry, but sarcasm seems to be the only appropriate response to the opinions expressed by the OP's acquaintance.

     
    19.
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    Busy bee
    gingerkid4god    June 12, 2010   West Virginia

    can you say scum

     

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