Post # 1
As I was reading the current debate over whether lab created stones are “fake” or not, it reminded me of a question I was asked earlier today.
A girl in one of my classes had been having a discussion (or argument, really) about how much a “nice” ring costs. She felt a “nice” engagement ring would start at approx $1500-$3000. The other people in the conversation got angry with them, accusing her of being shallow/materialistic/etc.
As one of the few engaged people she knows, she asked me to weigh in on the subject. Admittedly, my engagement ring + wedding band cost almost $3000, so it is difficult for me to tell her that she’s wrong. However, I know many people who have rings that were less expensive and are no less “nice” than mine- they are just different in style, have a smaller stone, are more simple, or perhaps have a slightly less quality diamond.
I tried to answer the question tactfully, explaining that it’s a matter of preference and that as long as you’re on the same page as a couple it shouldn’t matter, but I was still left with mixed feelings about whether or not it is being materialistic to expect it.
I personally hadn’t expected such an expensive set, but Fiance was willing to spend more than what I really anticipated. Had he spent less, I wouldn’t have complained or cared, because to me the ring was simply a symbol of the dedication we have to each other.
To say that, regardless of your budget, that a “nice” ring has to cost that much just isn’t something that I think is true…
What do you Bee’s think? Is there a price that you think of when you start thinking of “nice” rings, or do you feel that the price shouldn’t matter?
Post # 3
I don’t think a set dollar amount can apply to everyone as a whole. A “nice ring” means something different to every couple. It can be a gemstome, a diamond, an antique, an heirloom, etc.
The price does increase when you get into high quality diamonds, no matter what the size. So if “nice” means a diamond with perfect specs, then you will be spending more money.
Post # 4
My guy has a budget of $1,000 for my engagement ring, and for us this is a lot of money (about 2 mos. rent). I know for many other bees this would not be considered a lot, but everybody’s finances are different. It’s hard finding a lot of “nice” rings in this price range, but I am ok with not having a huge sized rock with near perfect cut and clarity. Whatever ring he chooses to propose with (and I’ve found several that I adore that seem perfect and nice to me) is still going to be special, beautiful, and expensive in my eyes, no matter how cheap another person may view it.
Post # 5
I don’t think there can be a set amount for a “nice” ring either. Different people have different preferences. No one should be judging another person’s ring or preferences, which is what I think is most disappointing of all.
Had I known more about alternative engagement and wedding rings, I definitely would have gone that route instead of a traditional gold/diamond ring.
Post # 6
I agree with the other posters here. I think “nice” is debatable. I personally have always wanted something “different.” Not that there is anything wrong with the idea of traditional diamonds, I just really had my heart set on getting a ruby for e-ring. I have wanted it that way for years even before I met my Fiance. Now, I am sooo glad we went that route. I get so many compliments on my ring. And it wasn’t nearly as expensive as a diamond because it is a lab-created gem (there goes the whole other debate! LOL)
I never look at my ring and think, “oh it’s not good enough because it is lab-created and it didn’t cost as much as my friends rings.” I look at it and think that I am the luckiest girl in the world to be marrying the amazing guy who gave it to me.
Post # 7
I think it really changes person to person depending on yours and your fiance’s situation and expectations. I don’t think any ring can be inherently nice or not nice. If I’m being totally honestly, I would say that unless there is a reason not to… I would counsel a guy to buy the best quality and biggest ring he could afford without going into debt. Because girls usually like big sparkly rings and because it is kind of sweet to make that kind of sacrifice for your future wife. Personally… my guy scrimped and saved his butt off to buy my ring and when I look at it, THAT is what I see. If he had bought me a ring that he could easily fit into the cushion left at the end of each month in his checking account I don’t know if I’d feel quite as warm and fuzzy because it wouldn’t seem like he tried as hard.
But I do think there are tons of reasons to go against the bigger/better trend, such as:
– Preference of girl. Maybe she doesn’t like diamonds. Maybe she doesn’t like big diamonds
– availability of family stones… I think heirloom rings are AWESOME despite their size so if one was available I’d totally recommend it (maybe reset into a setting the girl would like)
– other life goals. if the couple agrees that other things in their life are simply more important than a ring then by all means.. buy a cheaper ring and buy a house, etc
Post # 8
Like everything else, “nice” is personal.
For me, “nice” means it’s the right ring on the right girl.
Post # 9
I think that there is not a specific dollar amount that would confirm that something is nice. I know many people equate diamond size with price along with quality. I don’t believe that that is true. Boyfriend or Best Friend gave me a budget that he was willing to spend up to and we have examined every different way we could use that budget to get the type of ring I was looking for. For the amount of money he is willing to spend, the national chain jewelry store was going to give me a far smaller diamond than the personal jeweler we have decided to go with instead. One price rang ecould purchase a lot of different rings and everyones preferance is completely different. I might think my ring at $$$$ is fabulous but you may think it is a piece of crap. “Nice” or “quality” is subjective to each persons opinion.
Post # 10
As already stated nice is personal. Lab created gems are also as much real as “real” ones in terms of its composition, its just formed differently. If you’re looking for more cost of ring opinions, the rings I really loved would have started at 6k. 0.9+, VS+, H+ is what I told my Fiance I really wanted.
Post # 11
I think “nice” rings are available at all price points. They might not have diamonds or whatever, but the sentiment is there, and that’s what’s important. I would have hyperventilated if FH had done the three months’ salary thing, just because we’re both a bit on the frugal side and we have other things we want to save for. He came up with the budget for my rings and together we found something we both love, so it totally worked out. Our budget wasn’t “big” by most standards, but we did what worked for us – which I think is most important.
Post # 12
i have to admit i used to buy into that whole “three months salary” thing (is it two or three?) until i found out that debeers invented that as a way to sell their product. before that people just paid what they could and bought what they could afford (much more often a family heirloom and as likely a diamond as not). three months salary is TOTAL BS made up by a savvy marketing genius. however, having said that, i also have to admit that my ex-fiance (thank god i never married him for various reasons) was such a jerk that he complained several times about not only the cost of the ring, but the fact that “you get TWO rings? no way! i’m only getting you ONE!” when he found out (apparantly he lived under a rock before i met him) that women typically receive an engagement ring AND a wedding band. he initially REFUSED to buy me a wedding band and then agreed to buy me one, but would subtract the cost from the cost of the e-ring. what a jerk (just for scale, he made about $150,000 a year and HE had set a budget of $4,000 for the ring…..)
so…… is it wrong that i wanted a $4,000 ring and would have been upset if he had instead bought me a $1,000 given these circumstances? i don’t think so….. if he WASN’T a selfish jerk and he was say, a waiter who only made $20,000 a year and had instead GLADLY bought me a $1,000 ring? i would have been thrilled!
so nice or not depends on the circumstances……
Post # 13
I agree with everyone else – “nice” is really subjective. One of my friend’s engagement rings is custom-made and very expensive, while another friend was excited that her husband spent over $200 at Wal-Mart on her ring. As long as the couple is okay with the cost and the end result, it shouldn’t matter.
As for me, I have expensive taste, but I’m not getting an expensive ring. I’ve just picked out rings I liked in her price range and emailed them to her at her request. The most important thing to me is that I actually get a ring and a proposal. Of course I’d love an expensive, huge rock… but it’s just not feasible for us right now. (My girlfriend doesn’t want to spend more than $400, and that’s okay. I’d rather get a proposal in the next few months with a less expensive ring than wait for months while she painstakingly saves up every dime she can!)
Post # 14
I think it depends. I hate it when a woman expects a certain amount of money in her ring regardless of the beauty of the ring. But if both are on board with finding something that feels right, and the price is doable for them, then I don’t care.
I shopped for my own ring. I admit I wanted something nice, but what “nice” meant to me was more what the ring was like, not how much it cost. I didn’t want a huge flashy ring, but I didn’t want a tiny ring, ether. And I definitely didn’t want a solitaire. I wanted the 3-stone look, which sometimes upped the price.
I did rule out those that were over $2000. My fiance is of the opinion that a ring is the thing you’ll wear everyday to symbolize a marriage, so it’s one of the things that’s worth spending more money on. Still doesn’t mean it should put him in debt, though.
We ended up using my grandmother’s stone for a center stone, so I found a setting I loved for $900. I liked that setting better than any other ring I saw, even the ones that were four times my budget. Fiance wanted to get my wedding band the same day, and I’d found one in the same store that I liked for $500. So we got e-ring, wedding band, lifetime warranties, assembly, and tax all for under that $2K budget. I’m happy about that and I love my ring(s). That’s what matters to me.
Post # 15
My ring was 600 and it’s a “nice” ring. At least to me. I don’t wear jewelry much (and when I do it’s a pair of cheap earrings lol) so a diamond on a white gold band is pretty fancy to me. And that’s a lot of money to spend on something to wear on your finger.
Post # 16
Yes, I think of a price when I think of ‘nice’ rings based on MY own taste. Just as I also think there is a price for a ‘nice’ apartment in NYC, and a ‘nice’ wedding dress.