An interesting perspective on the effects of gender neutrality – long

posted 3 years ago in The Lounge
Post # 3
Member
1421 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2009

A man who calls men who show emotion “pussies” and uses “take it like a man” as an expression for “be strong” — aka “don’t be weak like a woman” is expressing chauvanistic tendencies. 

Post # 4
Member
6740 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2010

I kind of view that argument that men need to the strong/brave/not emotional etc along the same lines as “real women have curves”.  Who is to say what a “real” man is?  I believe in a wide spectrum for both genders.  It is unfortunate that people have such strong stereotypes and raise children to believe a real man or woman is one specific thing.

 

Post # 5
Member
5682 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2011

I’d be worried about a guy that thinks that as women achieve equal status (which I don’t think anyone could convincingly argue has happened yet) their role in socety is devalued.

Post # 6
Member
2642 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

@Aquaria:  Anyway, C is concerned that society is encouraging boys like D to become feminized.


I don’t think society is necessarily encouraging boys to be more feminine.  What I do think society is doing is babying everyone.  All kids are special little snowflakes with super fragile egos.  They must be protected from everything so they don’t get hurt, either physically or mentally.  Kids MUST be protected from failure.  Everyone is a winner and no one is better than anyone else – thus everyone gets a trophy and there are no more valedictorians. 

I think kids need to learn to fall down and pick themselves up and they need to learn to do it without crying or whining.

 

Post # 7
Member
2565 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

I would argue there have always been people who are a “man’s man” as well as “feminine”, it is just no longer acceptable to pick on, tease, or force a child to fit a stereotypical mold of what a man should be. If a boy would rather paint, or play an instrument, or dance than play football there is nothing wrong with that.

Post # 9
Member
1465 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 2015

My dad used the “take it like a man” and “stop acting like such a girl” lines on my brother growing up all the time. My brother was a crier. My parents didn’t coddle him, he plays a ton of sports, and he is very manly. But I know that he struggled with how easily he cried growing up, and he and my dad don’t have the best relationship.

If you (or anyone interested) has an hour and a half to kill, I highly recommend this documentary:

http://topdocumentaryfilms.com/tough-guise/

Try to get your FI to watch it. I think it will be a learning experience for both of you.

Post # 11
Member
1327 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

@RunsWithBears:  +10000

 

I could not agree more.  I feel that this was starting when I was growing up (I’m 26).  I know that post-college life was a bit of a slap in the face, finding out that job hunting and the real world were nothing that I had been prepared for.  I think it’s only gotten worse since then, some kids seem like they live in plastic bubbles now, girls and boys alike.  I feel bad for them when they grow up and enter the real world.

 

Post # 13
Member
236 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

@RunsWithBears:  +1

Hell, everyone is babied now.

I am a girl. I can’t tell you how many times I “toughed it out” as a kid… just simply because I wasn’t done playing and getting stitches was clearly cutting into my time (thankfully my mother took me anyways.) When I did badly in school, I was grounded. When my much younger brother did badly in school, it wasn’t his fault because he was “artsy.”

Whippersnappers. It’s all this flash dancing and rap music!

Post # 14
Member
928 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2015

ask him why being ‘ feminized’ is a negative. I wonder if he is able to articulate why being ‘feminine’, or rather, exhibiting actions and behaviours that have been traditionally considered feminine, is a bad thing. 

Post # 15
Member
11300 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013

@bluegreenjean:  This.

My ex was a super chauvanist. I hated that about him, because I wanted to see some effing emotions. Thankfully FI is in touch with his feelz.

@RunsWithBears:  This times a billion. It’s terrible.

Post # 16
Member
731 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

I’m wondering about people saying that kids now are “babied”.

Why is it SO important that kids be “tough” and “strong”? Why is it so bad that intellect and kindness are FINALLY being acknowledged as being more important than being tough? People say that you have to be tough in the “real world”. Maybe the “real world” needs to change?

We have a world full of mean, unhappy people. When I was growing up everything was focused on the “aggressive” kids. They were the ones who were going to be somebody. The sensitive kids were looked down on and sometimes lived up to their “never going to be somebody” message that they were given while others decided that in order to make it they also had to be more “tough” and “aggressive”.

Leave a comment


Sent weekly. You may unsubscribe at any time.

Find Amazing Vendors