Post # 1
I have been asked my guest, who I addressed their invite with their name only, not ” and guest”, and one guest considered the invitation to be “open” with regards to bringing a guest. So they invited someone to come with them and then later asked me about bringing a guest, which I responded I didnt include a guest for them as I had done for several other single guest. I only made an exception to the no ring/live-in/serious one year plus relationship rule for my sisters.
Do you consider your name alone on an invite to mean you can bring a guest – especially when you are aware of a tight guest list ( less than 75 people)
I just want to make sure i am right on this one.
Post # 3
No name, no bringing guests.
Post # 4
I would assume that means only me but I have found in my own experience that many people think it’s an open invitation.
Post # 5
Ettiquette very, very clearly states that if only your name is listed, only you are invited.
Post # 6
I assume NO “and guest” means NO GUEST! And If I was in a relationship and unsure I’d ask before INVITING someone! GOSH! That stinks :/
Post # 8
If it doesn’t say and guest then a guest wasn’t invited. I had a few people add a guest on even though they weren’t given a guest. Some people just don’t get it.
Peter Smith (no guest)
Peter Smith & Guest (guest welcome)
Post # 9
Now I am being called cheap my a close friend. Frustrating.
Post # 10
As I said in a previous post, a lot of people just don’t know. And the reception card which often allows you to fill in the number of guests doesn’t help. But your friend is pretty stank for saying that shhh to you.
Post # 11
If it doesn’t list anyone else, then only you are invited.
Post # 12
That’s rude of your friend!
Seriously – let me bump my grandma so you can bring your flavor of the month?
Why don’t you diffuse the situation by saying you will do your best to “fit the guest in” when what you can really do is see what your numbers are looking like. If you have the room and are willing to allow the guest – just to keep the peace – then do so, but there’s no shame in letting your friend know that it was rude/bad ettiquette / a pain in the butt for you…
Post # 13
How frustrating! Miss Sapphire and Johnsbride09 are right, no name=no guest. Unfortunatley, many people no longer understand etiquette. I agree with Querida that IF there’s a possibility you’d keep a guest possibility on the list just to keep peace, but at the same time, if she’s not discreet about it, you could wind up having this problem and expectation with your other singles wanting +1’s.
At least she’s only asking for one. I’ve been at weddings which were clearly adult, very formal events and very nice venues, and parents have brought their kids. Not on the invite, but brought them anyway, and they were all under the age of 5. And there were at least 2 or 3 per couple.
Let us know how it goes. (hug)
Post # 14
- Wedding: March 2010 - Calamigos Ranch
I would assume that if only my name were on the invitation that I was not invited with a guest, although if I really wanted to bring someone I might ask if that was okay (before I invited a date)–although I probably wouldn’t do that unless I knew absolutely no one other than the couple.
But I am learning that people invited to weddings become suddenly less bright and who knows how they will interpret it.
Post # 15
I think you were clear with the way your invitation was addressed. It’s presumptive of her to assume otherwise. I think it’s fine to ASK (if she can bring a guest), but just as any question, the answer “NO” is a fair and appropriate answer. She’s being rude by calling you cheap, because she didn’t like the answer you gave her.
You didn’t do anything ‘wrong’.
Post # 16
I was asked if they could bring a date, I said no explained it was a tight guest list. Also said if anything changed I would let her know. Then a week later get called rude and cheap and that I should have a small wedding if I dont allow the few choosen guest to bring a guest. Told I should have had a cheaper wedding so that those people could bring guest. I told the person that family (second cousins werent invited) I have a small wedding because I want it that way. We could afford a lavish wedding however that’s not what we want.
I will continue to stick to my motto even before I started planning a wedding – people are going to talk crap no matter what type of wedding you have – so make sure you have the wedding you want to have and not just to make others happy.
Mind you I only invited about five girlfriends and 25 family members and the guest is aware of the fact that FH is paying for everything and having his guests as well – to make 75 people.