(Closed) An odd thank you note

posted 10 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
25 posts
Newbee

that is definetly odd. i personally would never tell someone i exchanged their gift for something else. but that’s just me though.

Post # 4
Member
9 posts
Newbee

maybe they wanted to be honest since you guys are such good friends? They probably appreciated the gift you gave, but realized as they mentioned…it didn’t fit into their home and wanted to let you know what happened so you didn’t think they were faking on u when one day you came over and said,"hey where’s my expensive slow cooker? "

  

Post # 5
Member
1719 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2008 - Winery in the Gold Country

I only think its odd if you guys arent really good friends.  I would never write something like that to a family member or distant friend, but I have a feeling I’d write something to a good friend like "Thanks for the spoons, we returned them and bought booze."

haha.  So I have a feeling that they are comfortable enough with you as friends to be honest .  as far as etiquette, I’m sure its a no-no, but again…I’ll probably be honest and humorous with some of my closest friends when it comes to the TY notes.

Post # 6
Member
337 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2008

I think that’s really rude of your friend.  No matter how close you are, you spent good money on your gift.  That’s just hurtful.  Especially since you bought something off their registry, so you assumed it was something they actually wanted.  I would not recommend this strategy when signing your own thank you notes; as you’ve mentioned, it came across as odd and possibly rude.  You’re bound to offend at least some people if you write notes like this.

Post # 7
Member
164 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2007 - Hyatt Lodge, Oak Brook IL

Yea, I definitely didn’t write that in my notes, although we ended up exchanging alot of our gifts!! Hopefully they don’t come over looking for their gift… hehe

Post # 8
Member
337 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2008

Mrs. Emerald, just to clarify, I don’t think it’s rude to exchange the gift.  We’ll probably end up doing a bit of that ourselves!  But I do think it’s rude to say so in a thank you note…

Post # 9
Member
497 posts
Helper bee

Hmmm….I have to go with HeatherG on this one.  I think they probably just wanted to let her know that they really appreciated it but it didn’t end up fitting.  I think there most likely is a better way of wording the note so it doesn’t seem so offensive, but that might be a cultural difference.

Post # 10
Member
79 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: October 2007

I also agree with HeatherG; your good friends are being frank. They didn’t say "your slow-cooker sucked and we returned it for something we actually liked"!

Going forward with your own wedding, it’s certainly your choice to omit whether you and DH returned/exchanged/regifted, etc. A thank-you note’s purpose is to thank the giver for giving the gift, not what the receiver intends to do with it. 

Post # 11
Member
112 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: February 2018

I don’t think it’s rude.  I think I would try to be honest with good friends a well.  I think they wre just thinking ahead and didn’t want to lie or explain where it went in the event that you visited and din’t see the gift.   

Post # 12
Member
112 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: February 2018

I don’t think it’s rude.  I think I would try to be honest with good friends a well.  I think they wre just thinking ahead and didn’t want to lie or explain where it went in the event that you visited and didn’t see the gift.   

Post # 13
Member
104 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

uhhhhh……that’s weird. Don’t send notes like that.

Post # 14
Member
535 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

I don’t think it was rude of them to let you know, but maybe in person or over the phone … in the thank you card is a bit weird IMO.

Post # 15
Member
6360 posts
Bee Keeper

You know your friend. If this is the first time he’s being rude, he’s not trying to be, he’s trying to be honest. He doesn’t want to lie to you if you ask how he liked it later.

If this comes after a long line of snarky comments…. uh, why are you guys friends again?

Post # 16
Member
89 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

tacky.

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