(Closed) An ode to passive/aggressive comments 2010/2011…

posted 7 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
5389 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: December 2010

@katieebee: 

  • It’s about time. (In a negative tone.)
  • Why New Years Day? (But they are still coming and they had a holiday wedding too)
  • You shouldn’t be eating that cookie. (Um.. the last time I checked, I wasn’t over weight. Plus, shouldn’t you tell that to yourself since your dress is too tight?)

I last one really got me. Just because I am the bride doesn’t mean that I have to strave myself until my wedding day!

Whew… I’m glad I got that out. lol

 

Post # 4
Member
10851 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2010

Every time someone asked us “When are you getting married?” and I’d say “September 11th” and there would be an awkward pause and then they’d say “Well….. that’s an interesting date…. one you’ll never forget….” or someone actually posted on my FB “That’s a great way to celebrate the death of thousands of people”. I swear. So I started either responding “It’s a great way to reflect on what’s most important to you in life” or in the awkward pause “I know!!! It’s coming so soon!!!”. Most people pretty much shut up. I think DH actually asked someone if they knew the date of the tsunami in Thailand and when they didn’t asked if it wasn’t as important to them because it didn’t happen in North America. Ouch.

Post # 7
Member
47 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: March 2012

Oh dear, my mother is the queen of hideous comments so here we go:

On telling her that after a long 10 years we’d finally got engaged she said “thats nice dear, i’m sewing at the moment, I think i’ve done a stitch wrong…blah blah blah”

On telling her that due to his mother being bed ridden and the cost of a traditional wedding we were getting married abroad she looked absolutely disgusted and said “humph, every mother wants to see their daughter get married.  I guess its up to you though” in a surly tone – I now refer you to exhibit A above – now all of a sudden its important?!  Exasperation or what?!?!? 

Since then she’s offered to make our cake for the reception with the words “humph, I suppose I can make the cake, I did do your sisters” and “you’ll get whatever I can manage, tall tiers will use up too much cake mixture”.

Then onto the dress “thats a ridiculous amount to spend on a dress that no one will see” (we’re also getting married abroad on our own but I will wear the dress at the reception when I get back as well!!)  “Why don’t you just buy any cheap white dress, its only one day”

and on and on and on!!  Wow, that went on for a while in the end didn’t it?! I guess I needed to have rant about it! lol

Post # 8
Member
511 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

toward the ring: “doesn’t he love you? hehe”

ugh.

Post # 9
Member
336 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

The only one I’ve gotten is my Nana constantly calling our engagement “unofficial” .

“Even though you are only unofficially engaged…” etc. Constantly.

Her reason it is “unofficial”? My engagement ring is a sapphire. Apparently diamonds are the only thing that makes an engagement real. De Beers would be pleased to know this.

Post # 10
Member
533 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

Most of the time I just have to shake my head at most of the comments…I always wish I had a great comeback or line to give them.  The best ones I have heard so far are:

“I am sure there will be a few people that might think it’s a good idea”

“I wouldn’t do…… because this is what I did at MY wedding……you should do that instead”

“Wedding on a friday night???? I hope I’m not too tired from working to come”

“Your brother should be allowed to invite some of his friends (6 friends), otherwise he will get bored.  Your wedding’s not just about you and the groom you know”

I have a feeling I will be back to visit this post again in the near future!!!!

Post # 11
Member
192 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

@pohget: Oh, I get the “unofficial” comment all the time because I don’t have a ring. This lady I work with just LOVES to tell everyone who comes around the office how I am unofficially engaged.

My best friend (and MOH) is actually becoming the worst. She’s recently started dating a guy she thinks is “the one” and so everytime I ask her about stuff its “Oh, well, I won’t do it that way at MY wedding” or “At MY wedding, we’ll have this food/drink/music, which I think it better than what you want.” Grrr… she’s not even engaged (and the guy has told her blatantly on several occasions that he never wants to get married!)

Post # 12
Member
2981 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

I get “it’s not a real wedding” because we wanted a JOP to marry us!

Post # 13
Member
1227 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

I don’t think this one is passive agressive, but my favorite so far is “Am I invited? Can I bring a date?” This came from a family friend. He asked about how the wedding planning was going, so I said fine, then he laid these two little gems on me. I was planning to invite him but we were still figuring out what the +1 situation would be, so I said, “Yes you’re invited. As for a date, it depends on who you’re seeing.” I am such a smartass sometimes.

Oh, another one I got that wasn’t necessarily directed at me was when Friend A was getting ready to go ring shopping. She wanted a purple sapphire, but another friend of ours, Friend B, piped up and said that Friend A should look for a diamond instead because “He can get you a sapphire any old time. You should go for something really nice for your engagement ring.” I have a sapphire myself, as Friend B well knows. Me being the person I am, I said, “I think my sapphire is very nice.” Watching her back peddle was hilarious, as she then proceeded to try to explain it by saying that sapphires just weren’t as expensive, so Friend A should go for the more expensive diamond, and maybe get a sapphire on a later anniversary. People are so shallow sometimes.

Post # 14
Member
4327 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: January 1992

About my ring from step-father: “That’s really ostentatious”

************

My sister, about my dress (Verbatim, as this was over IM, which I emailed to FI in frustration):

[Me]
5:54pm
i picked a dress today. (Link was included)

[Sister]
5:55pm
already??

[Me]
5:55pm
yeah.

[Sister]
5:55pm
armless???

[Me]
5:56pm
i still have arms

(FYI: She meant sleeveless. And she was implying I was too fat to wear sleeveless– hence my smarty-pants response)

[Sister]
5:56pm
everyone has arms
well, not everyone

[Me]
5:56pm
:):)

[Sister]
5:57pm
ok, i’m not going to lie
you could pull off the armless, i guess
but it looks like balled up tissue

[Sister]
5:58pm
wow

[Sister]
5:59pm
bwahahahahha

[Sister]
6:01pm
how are you paying for all this???

[Me]
6:02pm
i don’t know how that’s relevant

[Sister]
6:07pm
LOL
ok
well, anyway, are you done looking at “formal” dresses, then?

[Me]
6:08pm
i think so.

[Sister]
6:08pm
what exactly do you like about it?
i still think it looks like tissues

[Me]
6:08pm
how it fits me, and the beading. you can’t see it from those pictures, but it is sparkly

[Sister]
6:09pm
oh ok

[Me]
6:09pm
it’s not one i would have pulled out for myself, but the woman brought it out and had me try it on, and it fits me nicely
just be happy for me

[Sister]
6:09pm
wow…ok
i am happy for you
i thought you wanted an objective opinion

[Me]
6:10pm
yeah, in the store. and I got that from those who came with me. Now I’ve made the decision, and was just sharing with you which dress i chose.

[Sister]
6:11pm
ok, then. i thought you said you “thought” you found your dress. if it’s final, then my opinion wasn’t werranted. you should have been more plain in your explaination.
the store would say good things, they made the sale, didnt they?

**************

I called my grandmother to tell her when I got engaged. She asked me when the wedding was. I told her, “Grandmom, I don’t know. He JUST proposed yesterday. Maybe next summer?” She said, “I don’t know why you’d wait that long, he might change his mind before then.” Thanks Grandmom, I love you too.

Post # 15
Member
1227 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

@StuporDuck:Wow. Your sis sounds like a bit of a jerk, at least in this convo. Maybe she’s jealous. 😛

Post # 16
Member
4327 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: January 1992

@Bubu82: My sister has always been an ass. No matter what I do, she finds ways to put me down, and when I call her on her bs, she says I’m too sensitive.

I give her credit: she’s gotten so much better in the past few years, but every once in a while, she reverts back to obnoxious a-hole that appeared in this IM. I never know when it’s coming.

You are right, though. It took this IM to understand she was bitten by the jealousy bug. When she got married, it was a small gathering at her home, with 10 people present. I’m having a “big” wedding compared to hers. Her marriage is also failing, after she cheated on her husband, so she’s also very jaded. She’s not in a sound emotional place to offer the love and support I’d hope family can, but at the same time, I shouldn’t be surprised by it either. I’ve since stopped giving her details, even when she asks for them.

The topic ‘An ode to passive/aggressive comments 2010/2011…’ is closed to new replies.

Find Amazing Vendors