Weddingbee Boards
Ok, so laughter is the best medicine and humor is the best antidote for anger, right? To that end, I'm going to start my own little list of the best passive aggressive wedding related comments I've heard - mine and other people's - and remind myself that in the end they are so ridiculous you have to laugh!
- My friend's aunt to her after she picked her wedding dress. She and her finance moved in together two months before the wedding:
"Oh, you picked the dress, how wonderful. Oh, did you get WHITE?" pause pause "Oh. Really. Ah...I mean, is it PURE white?"
- My single friend to me, in regard to a haircut I am trying out pre-pre-wedding (still plenty of time for it to grow out at this point,) and me on the dance floor at the reception.
"Wow, you got your hair chopped." Pause. No further comments, no 'It's cute!'
"Rosey is going to be SO adorable on the dance floor. She is the worst dancer you have ever seen, it is just the cutest thing ever. I love watching her, it's so funny watching her trying to move to a beat!" (um...I am from a culture where dancing is huge. I have plenty of rhythm, thanks very much!)
- My older relative to me, in regard to the idea of having cupcakes.
"Cupcakes. Really? Aren't those for, you know, kids birthdays? Hmm. Well, I mean I guess it would be cute if you're doing kind of a birthday party backyard barbeque theme. You can have pony rides for the kids, too."
- My single friend to another friend, after she announced her engagement. This comment was about five minutes later, apopros to nothing
"Yeah hey, remember when X dumped you in high school? Man, that was rough! No warning, and suddenly he was going out with X! You poor thing."
Feel free to add on! Someone should do a study, I think there is some cultural or evolutionary phenomenon surrounding weddings that is guaranteed to bring this kind of thing out in fellow females!
Haha! These are hysterical! I'll have to think of some I've heard...
Awww, these are sad that you had to hear them but funny to read now!
Some people are just......yeah.
Great thread, though!
Hahaha! "Remember when X dumped you? That was sad, right? You weren't glowing with joy then, right? RIGHT?"
People crack me up! 
I wish I had some great stories to add.
Ok my FI and I got engaged in March then within days annouced our wedding is this July 4th. We were out and a not so friend heard, immediately put her hand on my stomach, narrowed her eyes in and shouted "A shotgun wedding! How cute! Should you be drinking?" Um, I was not preggers, just bloated from Aunt Flo. I laughed it off, but deep down wanted to knock her block off.
Another girl, speaking on my ring, said "Ah, a princess cut, how unoriginal. Its cute though!" From a girl who cant keep a boyfriend for more than 2 weeks.
I really laughed at the one commenting about the ex after the engagement annoucement! Does she have a brain? LOL!
haha, you guys make me think of this site... http://www.passiveaggressivenotes.com/
This is NWR related but I had to share it. My mom and dad came in to where I work a few months ago. I had on dress pants a nice blouse and high heeled shoes. My mother told me "Wow, you don't look nearly as fat as you really are when you're all dressed up" I wanted to say "wow, you don't sound nearly as rude as you really are when y ou keep your mouth shut."
Me: Showing off my brand new sparkling engagement ring to my friends....
Her: "Wow that would look really gaudy on me"
I announced I was getting married at a plantation house
Her: "my mom said it doesn't count unless you get married in a church"
Why is it necessary to say anything at all if you can't say something nice?! I mean, really.
I have lots more....I just have to think of them.
FH's best female friend while she is still trying to befriend me, just irks me all the time. She mines for information in ways that are just rude and none of her buisness.
For example, we got engaged, that is I got the ring he picked out 9 months ago, just 2 months ago, but he originally asked me to marry him 16 months ago (just felt like people wouldn't take us serious until there was a wrapped finger), and her response to me, woudln't even say it to him "wow, not a long engagement, why are getting married so quickly?"
and
"you'd have thought someone would have told me about this celebrity lifestyle wedding of y'alls"
um? why? you knew we were engaged. if you wanted to know, you could have asked my FH, your friend, instead of sending me email in some snarky manner. BC, you know honestly, you have other guy friends that have cut you out of their lives because their new wives were uncomfortable with you.
and most recently her attempt to find out what church we plan to attend in Houston, "We can meet after the early service (First?) -of which I take to mean Houston's First- where FH used to go but we found a smaller church I like, and she goes to a different church...you think I want her attending our same church? yeah, me thinks not.
sorry, this aren't truly passive aggressive but none the less, I have still agreed to meet her for brunch. tell ya what, will not be showing her anything wedding related before the wedding.
When my FI and I told my FMIL that we were not planning on getting married in a church her reaction was this : "Oh...you're NOT getting married in a church? And your comfortable with that?"
Ummm...clearly we are if that was the decision we made! No - I hate the thought of getting married outside a church but thought - what better day to feel uncomfortable and miserable than on my wedding day! (insert sarcasm here!)
Some people!
During my FIL's wedding toast at the reception, he told me that I had "added the nuts" to the family. He said this multiple times, not just once, and he wasn't even drunk!
Later on, he said he meant it as I was adding the nuts (his crazy family) to (my) family. Uh-huh...
During my wedding, one of my aunts came up to my sister and said "Wow that dress is gorgeous on you, you look so much more beautiful today than on your wedding day". Her wedding had only been 5 months earlier and she had been very vocal about how much she hated my sister's wedding and her dresss to everyone but my sister.
This is NWR, but one of my Mom's friends told me after I returned from college one summer "Oh, it's so nice to see you lost all that puppy fat"
Um, I didn't realize I had puppy fat!
man, my mil was just full of passive aggressive comments. her mo was to say "i know you said you're doing x, but if you change your mind, i've researched options y and z for you."
it drove me nuts!! i was like, seriously, i've made my decision and that is final! let it go!
I think the only one that stands out in my mind is the woman (I was taking care of her kid in the hospital) who grabbed my hand, looked at my brand new ring and then said, "Oh, honey, it's ok someday he'll be able to afford a bigger rock that isn't so YELLOW-ey"...
Grr... It's supposed to be yellow... Smile. Breathe. Keep taking good care of kid.
I'm glad to see so many of us are hearing the same things!
I have two - first, my MIL said when we announced the engagement, "You certainly have a lot of work to do before May."
A co-worker saw my sapphire ring and asked if it was an e-ring. She then said, "Oh, couldn't afford a diamond?"
My boss is imho getting irked at T b/c there is lack of ring on left finger and imho the official engagement. When my friend N got engaged last week, my boss came up to me (my friend was in our depratment) and said "Hey Belle. Did you get a look at this? This? Wow. (he was holding up her hand with the ring on it in my face) an engagement ring. You DON'T see those very often around here."
I know he's miffed at T. So are my other coworkers. And to a certain extent am I too. But that really made me P.O'd!
Why is it that engagement rings are typically the brunt of the passive aggressive comments? Must be some magical powers they possess that makes people get all psycho!
@ Bellenga, that was nice of your boss to rub it in your face like that. Not! I see your date is now Summer 2010 so it has to be sometime soon! *crossed fingers*
These are awful/hilarious.
I have a coworker (who's not invited to the wedding) who was asking me about what we were planning for the wedding. I sort of mentioned a few ideas (this was very early on) and she made some comment about how she can't wait to plan her own wedding, and how she would pick all the opposites of the things we picked. Basically saying that she didn't like what we were planning.
This same coworker asked to see my ering when I first got engaged, and when she saw that it was a pear shaped diamond, she said, "aww" like aww that sucks, then asked me if I'd REQUESTED a pear shape. When I said I had no input on the ring, she said that she'd DEFINITELY give her man input, so she wouldn't end up with something she didn't like. Um. So you don't like my ring, I get it. That's when she got crossed off the list. Haha.
These are great! Bumping to hear more passive agressive goodness!
The only kind that i have gotten have been more like, "Couldn't you have your wedding closer to X" (X being the town that they personally live in) etc. If you're not paying for the wedding, keep your opinions to yourself! You can accept, or decline. There is no third box on the invite for your 2 cents ;)
I always want to reply that I'm inconveniencing everyone equally by having a destination wedding. I live 1000 miles from 'home' so I can't imagine planning down to the smallest details from that distance. Destination is so much simpler and more personal to us.
Wow, the nerve of some people. Sadly, I have nothing to share. I guess I've been lucky pretty so far...*knock on wood*
well, it's not quite after the fact since I'm getting married in two weeks, but ...
- my mom, after seeing me in the first wedding dress I purchased with FMIL:
"... it's ... nice!" (she later confided to me that I looked like I was "going to the justice of the peace', i.e., too plain/simple)
So my mom took me out to find a new gown since I couldn't stand to walk down the aisle in something my mom claimed looked too plain.
- my FMIL, after seeing me in the 2nd gown that I purchased with my mom:
::completely aghast:: "Well.."
So I ditched convention and bought my gown off Nordstrom.com.
- my mom, after seeing me in the Final Wedding Gown (after a few alterations, including the addition of sleeves for comfort/modesty)
"Is that the look you were going for?"
Not sure when this is going to become funny
Me: "So, we've decided to have our wedding in Yosemite."
Dad: "Do they have a church up there?"
Me: "Yeah, but I want to get married outside instead."
Dad: "...get married...outside? What's wrong with a church?"
I've said this before, but at my baby shower, while all my friends were talking about how tiny I was in high school, my MIL piped up and said "Well, she doesn't have to worry about that anymore" Biatch.
Wow those were RUDE! :) I haven't heard anything yet that really made me angry... Well, I just thought of one....
- When we told FI's parents that we were going to ask that if guests want to give us something they should donate to a charity (American Cancer Society, ASPCA, American Heart Assoc - My Dad had JUST PASSED AWAY from Cancer a few months before) FMIL said "people won't want to give money to some DUMB charity they want to give YOU something". My mouth hit the floor and she started to back pedal - I was CRUSHED.
- THEN when I told her "if people give us money we'll just donate it ourselves" she said repeated the "dumb charity" thing and said the gift giver would be "hurt" that we GAVE MONEY TO A CHARITY! WTF????
- People rolled their eyes when I showed them my Sapphire E-ring, & reception sneakers.
Other than that there haven't been many comments and that's mainly because I haven't told people the things that I KNOW will bring comments (wearing a black dress, no vegetarian options, only beer & wine, black nails, etc). :)
Love this thread!
OH! When FSIL got engaged and called her maternal grandparents their grandpa said "I hope that works out for you!" Seriously! (and it sort of didn't.... they seperated a few months after the wedding but are trying to work it out...) When FI and I got engaged FSIL looked at us and with a smile on her face said "I hope it works out for you". LOL It's now a family joke! haha
Oooo, I've got a doozy...
When I got engaged in Oct '08, I called my mom very excited to share my happy news. She didn't sound completely enthusiastic, to say the least. Then when I mentioned that we wanted a winter wedding in Jan '10, she says to me:
"Oh, honey, that's a long ways off. Why don't we see how this all works out before you actually set a date?"
"This" being our relationship. Ouch.
Grumpybear: your FMIL sounds like a FMIL I know, (and am trying to love).
can i just ask, if there's no vegetarian options, what are the vegetarians going to eat?
Oh these are so funny. I've got a good one to add...
So my FI and I got engaged fairly quickly (around the 9 month mark), and I was telling a friend who lives across the country over Gchat and there was a pause, no typing, and then:
Oh. Wow. I always saw you as the "cougar" type. But I guess that could still happen.
Mmmmmm thanks. See you on the "B-list" girl.
@Miss Snowflake: You're not alone! Your mom sounds like my mom when I was in the exact same situation. She just sounded so distant when I happily announced our engagement and even asked if I had anything else to share, like I was telling her about my day at work. *sigh* Still stings a little (and by little I mean a lot). Thankfully, we've talked and I understand where she was coming from with her initial reaction and she's warmed up a lot more now.
My FMIL's mother: "So, what are you doing for flowers"?
Me: "I'm not doing flower decorations, just my bouquet and my MOH's bouquet. And for mine, I just want a few Calla Lilies".
Her: "Well, we don't HAVE to do just a few. We'll figure out something nice".
WTF?
Her: "So, are you girls still having the shower here"? (Her house)
Me: "Yes, if it's still okay with you".
Her: "Okay, well, there are some people I would like to invite, like, XX, XX, XX & XX. (ALL people who are NOT invited to the wedding) That's if you don't mind. Besides, they give great gifts".
Well, we're having the shower at HER house!! Can I REALLY say, "No, don't invite them"?! AND, I couldn't care LESS about the gifts!!! AT ALL.
Me: "Um, sure".
Then, to top it all off, 2 weeks later, one of the girls that she's planning on inviting got married. Was I invited to HER shower or wedding or anything? NO. Why? CAUSE WE DON'T TALK!! They're extended family, like, her niece's daughter or something. So what makes her think that we want to invite them?! They didn't even invite my FMIL and the other sisters of hers until a week before the wedding. Shows how close they consider their OWN family if you ask me.
Whatever, I just pray every day and ask God for the patience and understanding to get me through this whole thing.
My boss is actually VERY kind. i love him. But he's just tired of T not you know..giving up bling yet.
One very sarcastic comment I got recently (from my now x bridesmaid and friend) "well we all know it has to be a rather small wedding. It IS both a second wedding for both of you, so you should be able to pay for the hotel rooms for the guests imho."
Um. She was waaaay off base and we won't even get INTO discussing her. I fired her as a friend last month.
Mostly everybody is great. They all are just wondering when.
I am the one btw who moved date back. I do not wish a fall or winter wedding and want a minimum of six months to prepare and have all together. So I told T that. Even if the ring lands on the hand soon, it won't be until summer 2010.
Here's a great one, I was in shock for hours afterwards. I was headed back to my college town for a night and have long since lost touch with most of my sorority sisters, but hey, we're sisters for life, right? And I would do any of them a favor if they came to my town... So I sent out a few messages to see if I could crash with anyone, saving money for the wedding, yada yada, got a very gracious response and I was looking forward to catching up. She asked a ton of wedding questions, and we talked about how funny that nobody keeps in touch anymore but we're all friends on facebook. Anyway, as I was heading off to the event I was in town for, she says
"Are you sure you wouldn't be more comfortable in a hotel?"
(Uhhhhh... what?)
And then she mumbles something about how she isn't invited to our wedding. We were casual friends for 2 yrs in college and then didn't talk for 6 years. Can anyone else feel me on how RIDICULOUS that is?!
@Meowkers - We'll only have one vegetarian and he'll eat our fish option (I already asked after he said he'd be there & that we didn't have a veggie option). He's not a strict veggie and we chose the menue before we knew he could/would come. :)
I don't blame you. I can't imagine planning a wedding (at least while retaining sanity) for 6 months.
Another good one: As my grandmother was stepping into the beginning stages of alheizmers and found out i was engaged, she told me 13 months was too long of an engagement and I better marry him quick, because "you know what guys want, and he'll leave you to get it elsewhere".
I'm sure after 4 years he's was going to leave me to "get him some" LoL
These are great! I love this thread.
I was decorating our wedding arch and showing off the DIY vase project I was doing for the centrepieces and my FIL commented "Wow, I know when West Coast Groom's sister gets married there's no way she'll let us get away with being so cheap about all this." And my family paid for more of the wedding then my husband's did!
Um....he actually meant I was a resourceful, practical gal, and he thanks his lucky stars his son married me and not someone as materialistic and selfish as his own daughter. In my head, that's what I heard :)
I couldn't afford a band with diamonds to go with my E-ring because I had to have a custom one made to fit with it (and that cost a lot in and of itself). When I told my FMIL that I actually liked the way it looked anyway, because the three diamons on my E-ring were substantial enough bling for my taste she interruppted me mid-sentence and said "Well, West Coast Groom can always add diamonds to the band later, it'll be ok".
I told my dad's gf that FI and I were putting both our names on my checking account, and she says "DON'T! I don't want to go down that road just yet, but trust me, DON'T!"
WOW! I have nothing to say!
I didn't have any bms or a moh because my husband and I have 6 sisters between the two of us, and I didn't want to leave anyone out. I thought we had explained this pretty well... until my little sister started planning her wedding. She asked me to be a bridesmaid, which I was happy to do, until she added in, "All of my sisters and my FSIL will be bridesmaids. I don't want to leave anyone out or hurt their feelings by telling them they aren't allowed to be in my wedding."
So now we're all bridesmaids, except for her MOH she chose this random friend of the family that is twice her age and is super busy raising 5 kids. How does that make us all feel included?
grumpybear: ah that totally makes sense. i dont see how that's anyone's business then, if eveyrone will be fed and happy.
These are hilarious! What a great break from actual planning.
My FMIL right after we got engaged, regarding my modern, minimalist style in our house: "Oh don't worry honey, I know you're not much for decorating but Aunt XX & I will make sure you have something nice."
Another from FMIL: *rattles off list of (over-our-budget) items that we 'need' for the wedding* "Don't expect me to go into debt or ask me get another job for your wedding!" (Um, I didn't, I won't, and I'm not doing those things either.)
My mom (to my sister) regarding my choice of a strapless wedding gown and my very large upper back tattoo: "I don't think Jesus would want to see that. Maybe we can get her a nice cardigan."
Oh dear, sometimes I think we should have eloped.
HAHAHAHA. "I don't think Jesus would want to see that" HAHAHAHAHA
I'm sorry i'm just busting up at my desk. It reminds me of the Scrubs episode where Lavernne takes the statue of Jesus around. He already knows it's there anyways, right? Oh man. *wiping tears*
You must log in to post.
| Visit our sister sites | Project Wedding Wedding Songs |
eHarmony Advice Dating Advice |
JustMommies Pregnancy Calendar |
Fertile Thoughts Infertility Support |
Create the honeymoon of your dreams.
| User | Posts Today |
|---|---|
| sunshinebride | 19 |
| mouse | 18 |
| crimsonchik | 18 |
| cheerful | 16 |
| amanda.lynn | 15 |
| RecessionistaBride | 14 |
| Angeleri2bee | 14 |
| Future Mrs. Martin | 14 |
| gail_NYwed | 14 |
| naangel55 | 12 |
| User | Posts Today |
|---|---|
| lilyfaith | 3 |
| simpleandchic | 2 |
| jmc | 1 |
| RecessionistaBride | 1 |
| marigold | 1 |
| mouse | 1 |
| northernazbride | 1 |
| Angeleri2bee | 1 |
| TPHoliday | 1 |
| toothfairyb | 1 |
