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@marigold -- Love that reply! I have a couple tats myself, so I will have to keep that in the bag for later. ;-)
The first thing that comes to mind on this subject was when I told my mom I was thinking of getting an ivory wedding dress. She exclaimed, "but then people might think you're not a virgin!" Um, Mom? We live together. I think they've surmised as much.
Perfect response for anyone who's getting married outside, rather than in a church - "Well, you know, we'll actually be closer to God that way... you know, no roof to block his view."
a long time ago, when we were deciding where to get married, my dad and stepmom were just about to retire and they were driving up to their retirement home (on an island off of Seattle) through San Francisco (where we live).
we all had dinner together at this great italian place and FI and i were just about to announce the location we'd picked (out of about six) and my dad said "I hope you didn't pick the Rat Kingdom [meaning Disneyland]."
well, since we met there, he proposed there, and we loved going there in college, Disneyland WAS where we'd chosen, so i gave dad a big, insincere smile (to conceal my annoyance and anger) and said "I don't know what you're talking about but we're getting married at the happiest place on earth - Disneyland." I'm just glad i didn't take the bait and get into a huge argument with him - afterall, it's our wedding and our decision, and i'm so happy that we made the right choice for us!
Ooooh these are good/terrible! I can imagine that my FMIL is thinking the same thing about Jesus seeing my tattoo
. I also have a nontraditional engagement ring (two birds with a small diamond in the center) but the only comments I've gotten about it so far include a variation on "it's pretty," luckily...
FI reported that when he told my FMIL we were engaged, her first response was "is Macintosh pregnant?" Granted, we did get engaged after only 5 months of dating, but still! Can you believe she just assumed that?
My future in-laws also didn't like our choice of venue, a historic theatre, because it limited our guest count and was more expensive thant they felt was reasonable (I beg to differ after all the research I've done). There was a lot of controversy between FI and them trying to convince them that we should have the type of wedding we wanted, where we wanted it. As FI reported, his dad said "you can just throw my guest list out the window..."
Apparently FMIL's father also chimed in with a remark about my desire to use the theatre's existing lights to design my own lighting with this gem: "It sounds like a light show..." That one really hurt my feelings because I do PROFESSIONAL lighting design as part of my CAREER. It's not like it's a Pink Floyd laser light show...
I also have a unique e-ring . A green sapphire , it's a custom design loosely based off a tocori ring , it's not HUGE but it's not tiny either. I got a few choice comments from the peanut gallery
" Oh , it's colored. Is it real?" nope it's pretend!
" Wow , high maintenance huh?"
I got any number of comments on my choice of a birdcage veil too. but I have to say the worse comment was on our honeymoon directed to FI.
" On your Honeymoon , huh? I guess it's a good thing she likes older men." I'm only 2 years younger. And at 27 he's hardly old!! Poor dear is very worried about his grey hairs as it is!!
@BubblyBride: That's the thing though!! My parents aren't even religious! I am not baptised or anything, we have been living together for a few years, I don't know why this burst out of his mouth. I think he just like my FI and wants another "son" to make do yard work. My parents had three girls, fun ![]()
I love my colored ring, I can accesorize based on it. The sad thing though is that diamonds ARE my birthstone!!!
I love all these comments, so funny! I know that if I get any snarky comments in the future I will think about being able to post about it on this thread and that will make me laugh instead of feeling bad. So thanks for that!
I LOVE this post! Thank you! I don't even know where to begin with all the passive agressive comments I have heard over the last two months. We got engaged in April and we are getting married in August of this year. Almost all of the doozies come from my FMIL. And they include the following:
FMIL: "We must not stress out my son with all the wedding plans. We do not want him unhappy." Oh? But its ok to stress me out with your ridiculous idea of having two weddings, one for my friends and family and one for yours. And your suggesting to me 4 different times that I rent a dress to save money. The dress I bought was only $700.00
Then there was this comment: "we should not have any children at the wedding." We? Who is we? We is your son and me. We is not FMIL and me. And what about my flower girls? Should they not be allowed? But it is ok for your dogs to be there (the wedding is in their home). What is wrong with children?
Or how about the time that you told me that I have to give FSIL (FI's bro's wife) something to do in our wedding. What is that about? That biatch is not very fond of me and I can't stand her. So the answer to that is NO. And I told her as much.
My favorite is when all of her friends who are throwing me a shower planned the shower on the same day as FMIL's birthday and she was happy about it.
Then there is this one:
Me to FMIL: "X called and said there is another hostess for the shower."
FMIL: "Oh? What did I do to deserve all these people wanting to throw me a shower?" Throw you a shower? I thought this was a BRIDAL shower? As in a party to honor the bride and groom? WTF?!?!
FMIL: "I got cocktail napkins in your color scheme from X bargain store today."
Me after seeing said cocktail napkins: "These are not in my color scheme at all. My colors are chocolate brown, ivory and layers of grass green. These are olive green, beige and gold."
FMIL: "oh, ok. weill I guess I will just keep them for myself."
I have recieved a few e-ring comments as well. Most of them are about how unique my ring is. REALLY people? Unique? It is a round brilliant diamond surrounded by micro pave stones. How unique it that? You can see the same setting at Robbin's Brothers (not where FI bought it, but I saw it there). And is unique a good thing?
Oh yes, right after we got engaged a one of FI's cousins said of my ring "its so cute." cute? puppys are cute, diamonds are not cute. diamonds are pretty or stunning or sparkly and apparently unique, but cute they are NOT.
There are many more, but these were the best of the comments so far. There is still 10 weeks until the wedding, as FMIL pointed out on Friday when I was crying about not having a venue and needing to print my invitations this week. See, she changed her mind about having the wedding in their home the week before I was supposed to print the invites! So now we do not have a venue. Cause that doesn't stress out her son, oh no. Aaarrrgggghhhh! Ok, I'm done for now.
I got a "cute" too- from some good friends of my FBIL & FSIL when we were out to dinner right after we got engaged. I was pretty shocked, no matter what the ring is (mine is a princess cut sapphire surrounded by diamonds), you don't say cute to an ENGAGEMENT ring! I was rather shocked.
My FMIL is not PA, just A
I don't know what's worse! She has no problem spewing her miserableness (my made-up word for her!) and wrong opinions about everything everyone is doing. I should start keeping a journal, it would be interesting to keep notes.
This post cracks me up! I guess parents and grandparents are more old fashioned than I thought these days. I hope to goodness I am never like this with my daugther or son!
I love to bake and am planning on doing my own cake. I was telling some friends about it, and the next time I saw one of them, she said she had been talking to her mom about my cake idea. She said, "When I told my mom what you were doing, she said that maybe we should have baked the cake for my wedding too, to save money... but then she realized how cheap looking that would have been, so she was glad we didn't."
Um...ok?
@mskalinin - too funny. Your dad obviously LOVES your FI! My dad is similar - two daughters, no sons. Ridiculously excited to have another "son."
At my sister's wedding reception, he ran up to my FI, practically knocking me out of the way, saying, "Take a picture of me and (your FI) together!" So we have a picture of just my dad and my FI together, but no picture of just me and my dad. It's pretty clear to me which one of us he loves more. ;)
Anyway, my dad is a total sweetie. I just had to laugh.
@GretaB - good for you! Wedding cakes can be expensive!! Ignore your friend's comment - she and her mom are obviously not as talented as you are, and they probably realize it.
HAHAHAHA oh you poor girls! i have a few:
FMIL to FI upon hearing he asked me to marry him:
" Oh, why did you do that. . . . ? " HAHAHAHA becasue every one slese was *eye roll*
My mom isnt a big fan of my FI so yesterday i walked into the house and this is how the conversation goes:
Her: The window guy is coming today. PAUSE He's cute. . . .
Me: Mom, arent you married. .?
Her: I was thinking of you. . .
Me: Mom. . . i'm taken. . .
Her: Not yet . . . . . .![]()
Ha! These are painfully hilarious.
Stranger commenting on my engagement ring the day after we got engaged (I was glowing and giggling and buying my first bridal magazine): "Don't worry honey, he'll be able to afford some diamonds to put around that one later."
And from my grandmother after I'd spent over an hour getting my hair done for a cousin's wedding: "Well, they made your hair pretty, but they didn't make you pretty." Before my brother's wedding she said "You may never be beautiful, but you've got a nice face." (hello, backhanded compliment...) And then she complains that people get offended too easily! I've taught myself to find it endearing instead of agonizing, but if she does it on my wedding day I might lose it.
Awh, poor MVP Bride.
My first time as a bridesmaid we had our makeup done. "The bride requested that we do your makeup" (yeah right. That was the first time I had ever even seen the bride in makeup.)
Anyway, Makeup Lady #1 and I got to chatting and when she found out that I worked in a museum, she decided to boldly announce to a handful of little old ladies hanging out in the salon, "oh, she works in a MUSEUM. That's why she doesn't wear makeup."
1. I most certainly did wear makeup--in fact I had some on when I arrived!
2. What does working in a museum have to do with anything?
3. Why did she have to announce things about me to the little old ladies? (rolls eyes)
Meanwhile, next to me, Makeup Lady #2 told my friend, "okay, let's cover up all your faults." Wow.
Best Wishes!
@Rhiannon, I told my mom I was considering ivory also, and she said that people will think he already deflowered me....um, helloooooo?
I was in a WORK MEETING yesterday and I said I had to leave a little early (the material didn't pertain to me anymore). The british guy asked if he was boring me, and I said "oh no no, i'm getting married Saturday and Wednesday is my last day so I have a lot of loose ends to tie up".
Then in my meeting he asks "why are you getting married, are you pregnant?"
No? But if i was?! Oh goodness. Apparently he's a joker, but OMG!
Wow ..i can't believe people say the oddest things ...I'm sure i've heard quite a few things...espec since i work with a bunch of woman ...i just block out the comments...if i'm happy screw them..lol... I know i got a few woman asking if they were invited to the wedding ...in which case i replied ..its too soon to tell , ( at the time i had only been engaged for a month) We have to find a venue first and figure out cost and such ..Not to be mean or anything , but if you heard a co worker was getting married would you ask if u were invited , when you don't really hang out with them ?? I would never ask such a thing . But other than that ...i haven't gotten any rude comments....just odd suggestions ..like his sister asking if i want to borrow her wedding dress ?? I covered that with a " it wouldn't look good on me , since i've several inches shorter than you and i want to look at other dresses first" ..She meant no harm ..but i thought it was odd. I got a lot of congradulations..and its about times..which i laughed off...
I'm gonna keep my ears peeled for those backhanded comments..as i said i am sure i've gotten them..i just don't listen ![]()
Yay! It's open again. Keep it coming! I love reading this thread.
I got one as I was attempting to harvest delinquent RSVPs to our wedding to which over half the guest list would have to travel from out of state--we sent out STDs and invites early for this reason. (DH & I are from opposite sides of the country.)
Me: Hey, just checking to see if you were going to be able to make it to the wedding. We have to have our counts in to the caterer (blah, blah)...
Friend (who said the entire time we were engaged how excited they were, and knew full well who was invited to and IN my wedding): Oh, I don't know. Is anyone good I know going to be there?
Thinking -- Are you freaking kidding me? How about the bride and groom!?
Actual response: Yes, you know several people who are coming.
Friend: Um, can I let you know next week?
Said friend did not attend.
I have a good one- this is from when my FI and I were dating in college- we had probably been dating for about 3 years at this point. We had spent the whole day out shopping with FMIL and went to their house for dinner. FFIL comes into the room, drunk, and says "You know, (Mr. Burgundy), you really shouldn't put all your eggs in one basket. You need to get out and date other girls." I was pretty shocked ![]()
(Thankfully, FFIL seems to have come around somewhat).
This was one of my favorites.
Coworker: Did you decide on what kind of flowers you want?
Me: Not yet. But I do know that I want hydrangeas since they are my favorite flowers.
Coworker: Oh, I hate hydrangeas I think they look like bushy trees.
UM that's great how bout you keep that to yourself. She got married last fall so is always asking me questions and when I tell her the answers I always get a) I hate that or b) That's nice.
After reading these, i thought of a few:
Telling my FSIL about how i want to get letterpressed & DIY boxed invitations, she says "i hate to tell you this but you know, most people just throw them away so you shouldn't waste your time"... oh well in that case, let's stop the presses and send out a massive text message invite! Now THAT'S Classy! Lol here's the kicker - she insists on hand making elaborate invitations and party favors for her kid's birthday parties! WTF? Do you really think 7 year olds are going to take better care of invitations and party favors than adults will? Really?
My uncle asks when the wedding will be after we announce our engagement, i say "Fall 2010", he replies "oh that's good, plenty of time for you guys to get to know eachother better and really decide if this is what you want to do"... excuse me? Do you think we haven't been doing that for the past FOUR YEARS OF DATING and maybe thought of that BEFORE we got engaged?? Lol wow.
oh my gosh, I love coming back to this thread and seeing if there is more madness to keep me entertained...
oh man, some of these are terrible. ![]()
soo, while both my fiance's family and mine seem to be okay with our plans thus far, there is one comment that was made some time back by my FMIL that stands out...
before we were engaged, right as i was finishing up my degree (literally right before, like just a few months before graduation), mr.v and i were discussing our living arrangement options once we relocated - me from town A, him from town B, and both of us into town C. the most obvious/easiest/this-makes-sense option was to move in together (gasp!). my parents were cool with it - in fact, my dad recommended it (wait, did i hear you right, dad? you want your "little girl" to move in with a person of the opposite sex?? sweeett!!!). we'd totally save money, be there for each other (crucial when you're both relocating to a city you've never lived in before), feel safer, blah blah blah. his parents, on the other hand, would. not. have. it! they had lots of reasons, which i totally understand (did i like their reasons or agree with them, no. did i understand them, i suppose). anywho, one of his mom's comments regarding this proposed living arrangment was: "if you two live together now [as in, before we're married], i wouldn't expect her [being me] to wear a white dress when you guys get married."
hellloooo?? did she just call me easy? oh, no? that's what i heard.
and so what if i don't wear a white dress?!? ![]()
i love my FMIL, she's the greatest most patient and understanding woman EVER! and i really doubt she meant any harm in her comment - it was just very surprising to me.
AHHH this post is too awesome, it is really making me laugh!
I have a beautiful e-ring: star sapphire with a tiny diamond in an organic shaped setting. I lived in Africa for several years and knew some refugees from Sierra Leone so I am just not keen on the whole diamond trade deal. My FI did a great job picking my ring. I love it.
My coworker didn't mean to sound like a B, but i showed it to her and she goes "Oh. Is that like a blue tiger eye?" Um NO! it is a STAR SAPPHIRE!
There was also my mom, who HATES my tattoo (I have a half sleeve on my left arm) "Well maybe you can find a nice long sleeved dress. It will be chilly in October!"
What is she expecting me to wear? Whoa mom!
My FMIL is great, but I have heard several times from her "Why didn't we do X," instead of what we already have planned. This phrase has been used several times, from the ceremony venue to the hotels. I brush it off every time. She's not doing it to be hurtful, but next time I'm going to tell her she has to stop saying that! Nicely of course.
My grandmother asked if my dress was white (it's ivory) and then she said "oh, well I guess it doesn't HAVE to be white." I'm hearing this as a very modern grandma who appreciates a full color pallete, not one passing judgment. Haha.
Oh I forgot my best one!
My old roommate and I were having a difficult talk about me moving out since I had just become engaged. She told me she didnt think the marriage would work out and that she was worried and upset. She then said that if it did work out that SHE "would learn something". I was so upset and hurt by this comment! I told my brother about it and he said "What does that mean?! Okay, Confucius!" Ha ha.
And that friend isn't going to the wedding.
This thread is awesome!
The only passive-aggressive thing I've gotten was, I believe, unintentional. I was sitting around a table with aunts, grandmas, and an old family friend at Memorial Day talking about some of the details. When I mentioned clay flowers for my bouquet and handmade tissue paper flowers for the centerpieces, I got several confused/disapproving/disbelieving looks, but that's just because they don't know how awesome everything is going to look!
The family friend kept questioning all of our decisions, but I know she's just looking out for me and wants everything to be perfect.
Ah well, can't wait to hear more!
Someone asked me to post the non-traditional e-ring I described in an earlier post, so all you gemstone gals, here you go! This is the best pic I have of it, and the other ring in the pic is my friend's 3-stone very schmancy diamond e-ring, though NO she did not make ANY rude comments, yay! So yeah, aquamarine on the right, and what you can't see is that past the pave set diamonds there is a filigree design. I LOVE it!
Ooooh, gorgeous ring! I loves me some sparkle like that!
I have a passive aggressive story that makes me giggle! I have this uber-competitive friend...let's call her 'Jodie'. I love her, but she's one of those gals that sees the whole world as a playing field. Now, fortunately it has never really been an issue between us before because we have such different lives and career paths.
Then, it turns out we are both planning weddings in very roughly the same time frame. So, I'm thinking, hope her competitiveness doesn't rear it's head in our friendship...
Ha ha, wouldn't you know, not long after it's my birthday and I have a get-together with a bunch of friends. A few days later Jodi posts her photo album from the party online. Now, keeping in mind that this was MY birthday, there were...
- Several close-ups of my friend from out of town, who Jodi has never met before
- Several close-up pictures of a guy one of my friends has had a flirtation with lately, who Jodi has met maybe twice before
- Several close-ups of my FI posing with other people
- Pics of one of my friend's cousins who happened to drop by
Oh wait, guess who was totally absent from said pictures of my birthday...um...ME!
I think it's so funny that people still think that if you don't get married in stark white, then you're not a virgin. White didn't even become a popular wedding dress choice until the mid 1800s when Queen Victoria wore white. Blue was more associated with purity than white.
Also, I've always wanted to get married outside because I've felt closer to God outside than in any church I've ever attended.
These stories are hilarious and I love that even though people have their own opinions, brides are still pushing through and doing their own thing:)
I'm so happy I'm not the only one... I've been hearing snarky remarks non stop that I feel like I'm constantly on the defensive. My personal favorite was:
Friend's Mom: Is it correct that i hear you are getting married?
Me: Yep! Next May!
Friend's Mom: Aren't long engagements frowned down upon?
Me: Well, it's only a year. I'm currently living 2000 miles away from him and home. And we wanted to wait until after our college graduations in April.
Friend's Mom: Then why don't you just break up and get back together when things work out better?
Friend: Hey Mom, why don't you mind your own business?
that made me laugh so hard when he said that :)
Here's another one.
Before I got married, I had this aunt whose hobby was to tease me during wedding receptions. Every time there's a wedding, she will jokingly tell me in front of other relatives and friends that "it's my turn". Even though I have no boyfriend. It irritates me that she thinks mid-20s is too old and that I should marry. I've been a bridesmaid 7 times before I got married so imagine how many weddings I attended including those where I am just an ordinary guest. It's so embarrassing to be the center of attention.
So one time during a funeral of a relative, I stand next to her and whisper, "Your turn." From then on, she stop teasing me on weddings.
LOL that's awesome!
I have an aunt who's commented a few times that she's too old for this and it's time for her to settle down...I lost track of her marriages. 10? Oh man. I feel kinda funny getting married when she brings it up, like, "eeek...sorry auntie!" she's a hoot though.
@ Pacos That was a fantastic response!! I'm in awe (and laughing my ass off).
best passive agressive comment I got was about my ring (which was hand designed by FI) from a sorority sister
Oh... well I thought it would look bigger in person... mine is .75 carat weight, so I know it has to be bigger than yours. What's your carat weight? I played dumb about my carat weight, but it took all I had to bite my tongue and not say. um yeah mine's 1.87 carats, and its Asher cut which is cut to draw the eye in.
she then hinted around at being a BM in my wedding, since I was one in hers.
I hate passive agressive comments !
Here are a couple of my favorites--
#1
Bridesmaid: Is your mom okay with you not getting married in your family's Catholic church?
Me: Well, she hasn't brought it up at all, and this is the 5th time that you've brought it up, so she's obviously more okay with it than you are. (Which is especially amusing because BM isn't even Catholic.)
BM: Well, I'm just asking because I thought you wanted to get married there, so I was just making sure you were okay with it.
Umm, smells like BS, but thanks for your concern.
#2
FMIL: Well, if you are getting married in March, then your bridemaid dresses simply have to be orange or yellow. (Huh? Maybe if this was still the 70s.)
Me (with my biggest, brightest smile): Well, when you get married, you can have what ever color bridesmaid dresses you want.
Still not sure how I got away with that one.
My mom saw the gorgeous dress I bought off ebay and was insulted that I didn't want to wear hers. She said it was a tacky stinky piece of junk, and I actually bought a more beautiful one. It still wasn't hers and she told me it made my butt look like a balloon.
I ended up getting the first one cleaned and tried it on for her and she almost cried she loved it. And denies ever having said something like that, but you don't forget these things!
Every time I mention something my mom doesn't like, like having an ipod ceremony, not wearing a veil, she asks me if not having X is a money issue (which most often it's truly not) and then she transfers money into my account for X. I mean it's nice, but so much added pressure to have what she wants! Ahk.
She also didn't care so much for the dresses that I was trying on with her, even tho they were along the lines of what I wanted (anti poof). She would just give me these clearly disappointed faces and say, you just looked so much like a bride in the other (poofy cupcake) dress! Hate those passive aggressive faces! I would even ask her to tell me what she was thinking, but I'd just get the insincere "The dress does look nice" and more faces. She should at least give me a funny quote!
Luckily she (claims) to like the dress I finally chose. Lacey, trumpet, no poof.
Oh also my FI's sister said to his mom who said to me-
"I'm his sister so I better be a bridesmaid!!" Um thanks FMIL, did you really need to share that with me? The only response I could give was "of course she is.... eheh".
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