Weddingbee boards

An update for you - nothing major, just minor, minor progress. But any progress is great!

Last night, SO and I had a chat and I think we got (a little bit) somewhere. He said that it isn't that he feels not ready to get engaged for any particular reason, we both have obviously known we're going to get married for a very, very long time now (having been together 7 1/2 years) but for a weird reason he still feels like proposing is something that people older than him do. But when he thinks about it, he is 24 and he realises that isn't so young and people do get married at his age. So then he wonders why it is that he thinks he isn't ready and there's not really a reason at all. I think he's finally getting (a little bit) comfortable with the idea. :)

Inspired by katiebeary's recent mutual engagement decision, which I adored, I asked if we can just say we are engaged because we both already agree we're getting married and planning a little for getting our wedding on track (research, saving). For a moment, he agreed that yes, we are engaged... but then he realised he would feel let down that he hadn't proposed to me, so it's back to the waiting game. And I still think it's going to be a very long wait.

@spaneshal: Well, we have several married with kids friends but they're all older than us except one who is my friend, not his. So, of his peers, people his age are not engaged. Nope. Of my peers, I have one engaged friend. So I totally understand thinking we're young - even though we won't marry until 2014 for financial reasons, we will still be one of the very first couples we know to marry and in some of our friendship circles the first. Take last Saturday as an example, we spent the evening playing poker with the boys (since I moved cities, I have no friends, so have been coming to terms with becoming one of the boys with SO and his friends) - 7 guys and me. I can't imagine any of them getting engaged any time soon, even though 3 of them have also been with their girlfriends for years now. Most people we know are students or graduated a year or two ago and I can totally see how, in our manic state of still flat-sharing with our friend, and taking career babysteps, SO would think we're still babies and he's not at proposing age yet. I get it. I just feel so excited that I want it to happen so I can finally tell everyone what we're lining up behind closed doors.

@love108: How far are you considering moving? I moved to join my SO, but I think it's different because I had just finished uni, so no attachments like a job or a home, and it wasn't perhaps that far compared to other bees' stories. Do you think that, for you, there will need to be a proposal to demonstrate that commitment?

@newenglandgirl: For us, he started his "real job" 2 years ago and we do live together. However, what I think might really swing it for him, is when I start my "real job" in January and then once we move flats in Feb/March to live on our own, just us, which is something we haven't done before. Once we're settled into those things (a new home and a new financial situation) I think he may start to feel grown up.

@Miss Circe: It's not even something he has plans for or has thought about much. He really hasn't thought about rings or proposals or anything so it isn't like he has plans it doesn't want to scrap but I honestly think he just wants a good story. He reckons it'd be rubbish to not have a story. I think at that point I said something soppy, full of tears, about the story being "that the person I want to spend the rest of my life with asked me if I'd like to spend the rest of my life with them and they said yes". He responded with "would you like to spend the rest of your life with me?", i said "yes", and then we proceeded to get split-second engaged as ladyartichoke called it, and then un-split-second-engaged. Oh well, it is endearing, as you say, because it will be nice to have a dramatic story after all. Even if it isn't necessary, it could be awesome.

@love108: Hmm, well, I think it's Peter Pan Syndrome when you're a bit older than SO and I are. 24 and 21 is really not that old, so it does make sense to feel we're too young. It's old enough to be considering engagement, sure, but it isn't all that old (our adult lives are really just starting now) and people will certainly, with no shadow of a doubt, think we are too young to marry (even though I'll be 24 myself by the time we marry).