"and guest"?

posted 3 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
626 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: January 2014

Wondering the same thing!  Whats the big deal really?  

Post # 4
Member
254 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

@renwoman:  No, I think especially if they are not in a relationship, you dont know who they will be bringing, “and guest” is extremely appropriate. I had heard, that you only WOULDN’T put “and guest” is if they are married?

Post # 5
Member
3570 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

I think putting no guest is bad etiquette.  Nothing feels as good as getting an invite and having “and guest”  I wouldn’t worry at all!

 

Post # 6
Hostess
9903 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2014

@renwoman:  I really hate the idea of writing ‘and guest’ on the envelope, so on my belly bands I’m going to put the names of the guests or jane doe & Guest there – I’m worried about Jane Doe responding for 2 but not telling me who her guest is and then I have to call and have an awkward conversation to find out the name of her +1

Post # 7
Member
2209 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

@renwoman:  “& guest” is just fine if they’re single. 

However, if they have a partner:  AKA have been dating for years, living together, engaged, or married, it’s really best to put both people’s names instead of the main invitee and “& guest.”

Post # 8
Member
1040 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

I think that its only poor etiquette to put “and guest” if your original guest is in an established relationship. If they are genuinely single then I see nothing wrong with it, and they should be grateful that they got a plus one at all. Just be absolutely sure they are single first. 

Post # 9
Member
2720 posts
Sugar bee

@Nookie123:  Ugh but if you read these boards, some people are just so very offended at being refered to as a “guest.”

When DH and I were dating, I didn’t care if it was Mr. SRM and Guest. When we were engaged, still didn’t care. I don’t think I would care now too.

Post # 10
Member
4441 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: January 2013 - Harbourfront Grand Hall

@MrsTVLover:  +1, I wrote “and guest” for unattached friends, how else would you put it?  I didn’t have “we’ve reserved two seats for you” on our RSVP cards…  I didn’t know I was going to hell! LOL

Post # 11
Member
1302 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

I wrote “and guest” on my invitations. I addressed the outer envelope to “Jane Smith” and on the inner envelope, wrote “Jane Smith and Guest”

Post # 12
Member
3249 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

@renwoman:  Make every effort to lear the name of the person they would bring.  If, after that, you still don’t know, use “and guest.”

Post # 13
Member
7654 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2012

I think women on here don’t like when it says and guest when the couple is dating (and living together), engaged, or married. That is where you create an etiquette no-no.

If they aren’t in a relationship, you are more than welcome to put and guest. I just think it is nice you can accomodate a guest 🙂

Post # 14
Member
1290 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

@renwoman:  I think the only time “and guest” is “rude” is if you put it on the escort card, I think on the invite is fine – what else would you put?

Post # 15
Member
1290 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

@Sea_Ashley:  +1 this.

 

You wouldn’t want to write “and guest” on the outer envelope, just on the inner!

 

Post # 16
Member
42469 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

The etiquette snobs are sure to check in and say you should find out the name of the person they will ask as their date. But, unless people are in some sort of steady relationship, whether committed or not, they may not know who they will ask.

I think Bees generally get their knickers in a knot when they are in a long term relationship and the bride and groom do not take the time to find out her name, or, in some cases, know her name but leave it off the invitation. They feel deliberately snubbed.

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