Post # 1
i am really trying to cut down the guest list for the rehearsal dinner (it’s getting a bit out of control) and am thinking about cutting the "and guest" for my single friends. is this a no-no? for the actual wedding everyone is with guest….thoughts??
Post # 3
Need more details – How many people are you having at your RD? Are you restricting it to the wedding party and immediate family or are you inviting others?
Post # 4
i’ve got 35 so far, and thats not including out of town guest yet, which would be basically the grooms whole family…i’m guessing his family will want them all invited, but i havn’t totalled them up yet…
Post # 5
I would say it’s fine. The rehearsal dinner and the wedding are separate events, so guests shouldn’t expect to be able to bring a plus one, even if they are allowed to bring them to the wedding.
That said, some people might assume, so definitely have a "# attending" line in your RSVPs, so you can call up those who interpret wrong.
Post # 6
I’m having this same issue. The list could potentially be 40, but the restaurant we are having it at only seats 30 comfortably. Does this mean we don’t invite the greeters, readers, etc?!?
Post # 7
as far as i know, readers should defonitely be invited. ushers- i’m not sure…
Post # 8
Since your rehearsal dinner is already so large, and you’re inviting out of town guests to join you, I think it would seem weird to tell your wedding party members they couldn’t bring someone, especially if they’re allowed plus ones at the actual wedding. If it was a small, intimate dinner, I would lean more toward not inviting them to save the money, but because it’s already so large, I would first consider chopping the OOT guests before wedding party dates (wedding party is kind of the royalty of the wedding, so to speak – they should get some special treatment for being there and putting in all the effort). You can always explain to OOT guests that you wanted the rehearsal dinner to be wedding party only to keep it small and intimate.
Post # 9
sminerva’s recommendation sounds pretty good. The intent of the rehearsal dinner is in the name- it is to rehearse the wedding! However, it does often become a dinner for OOT people as well, which makes a lot of sense. They are spending a whole weekend for the wedding and it would be nice to see friends/ relatives/ meet people the night before too.
What I would begin to look into for this type of situation is how to accomodate the people but do it in a simpler way. I’ve gone to a couple of rehearsal dinners that were basically BBQs. That may not be your style, but it makes it so it isn’t such a big deal how my people are there.
If that isn’t a possibility, perhaps go with keeping the numbers down to the wedding party and make alternate suggestions for OOT people to get together for dinner.
Post # 10
I think for wedding party you have to invite them with their guest to the RD. Not sure if that’s who you are talking about as far as friends. I guess in general though, if you are inviting someone the the RD who you invited to the wedding with a date and don’t invite their date, it would be more inconvenient to them than not inviting them at all. They probably only have one car, what is the other person going to do, etc.
Post # 11
I’m having this same problem. We’re looking at 39 right now and I’d love to cut his aunts and uncles. Is this totally taboo? It’s just too many people in the wedding party (and their wives) that is putting me over the edge.
Post # 12
I would not cut the OOT guests. They’ve come a long way to spend time with you and your family so you should provide as many opportunities for that as possible. I think it’s ok not to give single bridal party members plus 1s for the RD. Although the ones in relationships should definitely be able to bring their SO. The rehearsal dinner is not that long so why do they single people need a date there. they’ll just be eating.