Post # 1
Okay, we originally decided to give all of our single guests the option of bringing a date because we just thought it was the right thing to do. Some of our guests are people that we know do not have significant others and some of them are, unfortunately, people we aren’t in close contact with anymore. Today is the LAST day I can decide if I want to change our "and guest" policy because the envelopes are being finalized by our calligrapher. Considering the ever rising cost of our wedding, I am seriously contemplating inviting isome of these individuals without guests. I know this has been addressed a number of times here, but I really am unsure of the etiquette here and would appreciate ANY input. My biggest problem is that I feel that people will feel slighted by not having the option to bring a date, but part of me feels that I just can’t afford to be concerned with it at this point. Help please 🙁
Post # 3
Just leave it. Guests will appreciate the "and guest" and the majority of singles will know not to abuse the invite. In regards to the etiquette I really think that it is best to invite everyone with a guest, especially all those over 25 – no matter what. I will be including "and guest" for every single person at my wedding.
If you can afford to keep it as is, it sounds like it will be worth not having to deal with any slighted singles.
Post # 4
Etiquette dictates all single people be invited with a guest. Plus, you have to think, who wants to come to a wedding alone?
Post # 5
It boils down to this…
It’s your wedding, your budget and your guest list.
There are differing rules of etiquette in regards to the "and guest" requirement. Go with what your most comfortable with. In the end, it’s your day and you should be able to spend it with those who are closest with you.
If you feel that a lot of your single friends will just bring "casual" dates or a friend along, maybe you should save yourself the cost and forgo the "and guest" clause. If they are truly your friends, they’ll understand your budget restraints.
The saying goes…if you wouldn’t take that person out to a $100 dinner, then they should not be invited to your pricey reception (hence leaving out the option to bring a random date).
Post # 6
we did our decisions of "and guest" based on whether the person was in a serious/committed relationship or not. If they were, they got a +guest. If they were not, we did not include the guest. We were reallly trying for an intimate wedding, and wanted to be sure that we weren’t looking around at half the room thinking ‘who are these people?’ We are paying for the wedding ourselves, so every little bit helps.
Most of the people invited without guests are friends with others attending or people who we’ve also invited their sibling. So maybe we were slightly different.
Maybe our decisions don’t go along exact ettiquite, but it is our wedding, and we don’t feel those invited without a guest will be terribly offended.
good luck with your decision.
Post # 7
Because I’m having a small wedding (125-150 guests), I cannot accommodate all random "guests". Couples who have been dating for a long time and I’ve met and hung out – I’m inviting. But if a single friend found a bf/gf in the last 6 months to a year even, I can’t. I simply can’t – not at $200+ a plate, it’s too much. Do you want a bunch of "guests" that you hardly know at your wedding? I left friends out of the guestlist, so I won’t be having a hard time with this.
Post # 8
We both have huge families so the way we did it was that if the person is out of college they get to bring a guest unless they have been in a relationship more then a year then they get guest too! We can’t afford just anyone to come, and we already made a pack that in the 4 years we have been dating, if we haven’t met the person then they aren’t invited!
Post # 9
WE decided because of budgets that We were sticking to 175 people max…..So inour invites we are including an option for +1 for those that we think might bring a guest but since it is a holiday wedding and out of town majority of our guests will probably come alone……