Post # 1
I had to say goodbye to my FI this afternoon after spending a whole week together 🙁 We had such a great time just being with each other and our families together. I always look forward to my breaks from grad school, but it is VERY hard to say goodbye. I cried most of the 7 hour drive back to school.
How do you handle saying goodbye and adjusting back to life “alone” when you leave a visit with your SO?
Post # 3
well i was at school and my FI lived 4 hours away from me, i tried to stay as busy as possible so i wouldnt miss him as much. we also sent each other letters which was sweet.
Post # 4
I don’t handle it very well either, so I can’t give you any profound advice. When I dropped my FI off at the airport after the first time we had seen each other in 5 months, I started crying while I stood with him in the security line, and then I CRIED super hard for the long drive home. You’re not alone. ((Hug))
Post # 5
- Wedding: January 2010 - Trinity Presbyterian Church/Harrison Opera House
Oh yes. I cried every single time we said goodbye for the first part of our LDR. The past few months, I’ve been sad and we definitely say that we don’t want to part, but having the wedding to look forward to and having a definitive end point to all this has really helped. My personal advice is to go ahead and cry it out. Release the sad emotions. I used to treat myself to a bath or a specialty coffee or something. Making plans to see eachother again always helped too. It’s a bit better when there’s a goal and you can count down. I hope you start to feel better soon!
Post # 6
I cry every single time he leaves and he does too. We live 3000 miles apart and try to see each other every two months. You have to keep busy somehow. For our first month apart I wasn’t working and gained probably 10 pounds.
Post # 7
((HUGS)) i cry when i go visit my home state and m isn’t with me… and we aren’t a ldr…
Post # 8
Set things up at home so that when you return, it’s a happy place. I used to cry, but then I realized crying just makes you feel WORSE. Seriously, don’t you just feel awful crying? I know I did and I vowed to myself after ther first few months that crying just makes me feel worse, plus it makes HIM feel super guilty. So, I haven’t cried for over half of our LDR. It makes things worse, seriously! Then you look all puffy and squinty in the morning, too.
This sounds lame, but I always planned out a nice dinner for myself when I returned home. Whatever I wanted–pizza? Sure. Glass of wine? Sure! No homework, either. Sometimes I went to the grocery store. I watched my favorite tv shows, had my warm slippers on, etc. Something that makes it nice and cozy so that when I did return to my place, it was sort of a sanctuary. Like, “yeah, sure, SO isn’t here, but this isn’t so bad” kind of a thing. I was always kind of glum/melancholy for a few days, but it wasn’t something a nice, snuggly, cozy night in didn’t help. Or dinner with my friends helped distract me and put me in a good enough mood. Anything uplifting to lift you up over that bummy mood and onto a regular mood plateau.
For me, i just told myself that leaving was inevitable and that taking a deep breath and moving forward with my life was the only thing to do. I hate crying–it makes my eyes sore and it looks SO obvious that i was crying (1/4 korean, so my eyes get super crazy looking) and that I didn’t want that, so I talked myself out of crying out of sheer vanity, haha. I reasoned with myself that I could accept it and deal or I could wallow in sadness for days and make it worse. Crying it out didn’t help for me….it made me miserable! Give yourself something to look forward to. It’s not the same, but it’s something.
Post # 9
It’s so hard isn’t it? Especially returning to school after Thanksgiving, when there’s nothing to look forward to but a lot of work and stress before the longer holiday.
I used to go through the grieving stages with every visit – denial, anger, sadness, acceptance – in that order. It drove my FI crazy until we figured it out. Especially the part when I’d come up with completely ridiculous reasons to be angry with him. It’s gotten better since I’ve started leaving super early on Monday mornings instead of Sunday afternoons. Even with a 3-4 hr drive in horrible traffic, somehow it’s easier to leave him when he’s still sleeping and I’m in a hurry with work waiting for me on the other side, than having a Sunday when all I can think about is how I have to leave that day.
Post # 10
When we were in grad school, we used to see eachother for about 50 hours every 6 weeks. It sucked. And yes, I cried every single time I left his house (or he left mine). I agree with Lamb – just cry it out. That helped me just feel sad, and then I’d usually go to sleep. The next morning everything was fine, and I just kept myself busy till we saw each other again. I will admit that my “go to” distaraction was shopping, though I probably shouldn’t recommend that to anyone. I’m still paying for it!
Hugs!! Time will fly by and you’ll see him again!
Post # 11
we cried every time we said goodbye (him more than me, actually!) until the very last time we had to say goodbye. I cried more during lonely feeling times than the actual goodbyes, but they are so tough, I know. hang in there!
Post # 12
I cried every single time too, except the last time before I would see him when he moved home! I dont know that theres much you can do. Try and focus on the great week you guys had and when you will see him again. That always helped me, to focus on the next time I would see him.
Post # 13
When I said goodbye to The Boy this summer, I cried in his hometown’s airport, on the puddle-jumper to London, during the layover at Heathrow, and on the flight back to LAX – over 18 hours! (Tip: Stylish cotton scarves are great for discreetly mopping up tears on long flights. But bring tissues as well so you can blow your nose.)
When I take him to the airport, however, I have to force myself not to cry until I get home, since driving in LA is dangerous enough when my vision isn’t obstructed by fluid. It’s really, really hard to do.
Keeping busy helps. Taking a bath with some of his favorite shower gel helps. Watching AbFab (which we both love) helps – and cheers me up.
Truthfully, the fact that I’m habituated to living alone helps too.
Post # 14
*Hugs* I cry every night when Mr. KM goes home… I can’t even imagine leaving him for who knows how long.
Post # 15
I never really cried until we got engaged. Honestly… it’s weird. I always knew there’d be a next trip in a month or two so I wouldn’t cry. Since getting engaged, we’ve cut back on our travel because of pressure from the border guards. And the immigration travel ban– oh it just breaks my heart. We’re so close to being with each other daily and it makes it that much harder to leave. I find it nearly impossible… and I cry the entire first flight on my way home. Then I pull it together or else people in the airport get uncomfortable lol…
I deal with the separation by jumping right back into work. I busy myself for the first 2 weeks (which are the hardest for me) and then once I’m back into the swing of things, I’m okay. I also harass my FI on the phone non-stop for those first 2 weeks. 🙂
Post # 16
I’m sorry girlie! It was always so hard saying goodbye to eachother. The only advice I have is to make sure that you have a plan for when you will be together again so that you can remember it and not feel like you won’t be again together.