(Closed) And I just cut half my thumbnail off :( :(

posted 4 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
1471 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

I’m sorry, it sounds like you’ve got a lot on your plate. Sometimes it feels good to vent!

Also, you might want to edit your language regarding your husband’s child support. It comes off as insensitive and may de-rail this conversation.

Post # 4
Member
45395 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

@Jess1483:  That was my first thought too.

My FI gets raped on child support and all of this is coming out of my pocket.

His children are and always will be his first obligation.

 

 

Post # 5
Member
514 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

@Jess1483:  

@julies1949:  

I can understand her being upset about child support, even if she loves her step kids. My dad pays my mom 600 a month (yes still, 3 weeks before my wedding and I am 23) and not a penny ever went to things we needed (obviously we had a roof and food, but after I was 16, I bought my own toiletries, clothes, car, phone bill, insurance, paid for my own rent/college all the while she still got my dad’s support so maybe she’s in a similar situation. I think she meant that she’s paying for the wedding, because her fiance never has any leftover for savings.

Post # 6
Member
1471 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

@swisea01:  I’m not worried about her being upset about it–I can see that for sure. I’m offended by her use of the word “rape” to describe it. (I was avoiding typing it out so I didn’t need to edit when she edited, but since that hasn’t happened, and PP wrote it, too, it seems a lost cause.)

Post # 7
Member
9956 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2012

I too found the wording offensive…

RAPE (shudder) and the rest of the context as well.

I am a 50+ year old woman, who was married for over 20 years to an abusive alcoholic

Children are a lifelong commitment. Period.

And sorry, you’ll never know the woes of being a Divorced Woman raising children till you would sadly have to walk in those shoes

It is not a walk in the park, by any means.

The money given in child support is in recognition of that fact…

I wouldn’t wish it on any young woman… it is very very hard.  When we all start out as fresh faced Brides we can never imagine it happening to us… but it does.

NOTE – My children never understood it either… “Why should you be getting Dad’s Money” was a common refrain… I made a point of not discussing the Divorce with them… he did not however see any qualms with filling their heads with his lies.  In the end, it was I who paid that price… as they saw me as the “evil one”… after all… it was I who split up the family by taking them and leaving him !!

 

Post # 8
Member
514 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

@Jess1483:  true, I guess it could have been worded better. the poster after you made it seem more like an issue of whether or not he should pay than the wording of it.

Post # 11
Member
3431 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

@Weetzie:  I know what you meant:) Your posts are always so sweet…Anyone who has come across you in any thread would know this. 

Post # 13
Member
3431 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

@Weetzie:  Ahhh..pre wedding stress right on time huh? Dont worry sounds like you’re on top of everything! take some time for yourself in the next few weeks if you can:) , massage, shop, take a solo walk , or just get in your car and drive alone lol, Or just get away to the nail salon:) Whatever you choose, I hope you can relax and catch your breath! WOHOOO June is right around the corner and I for one am glad. Can’t contain my excitement and ready to be married!! good luck Girl!!

 

Post # 14
Member
1471 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

@Weetzie:  and I’m sorry, because my intention was to respond quickly in hopes you would change your wording and the conversation wouldn’t get side-tracked by it, and instead I think I caused the side-tracking. 

Hope things looked brighter this morning. 

Post # 15
Member
750 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

Oh, dear!

 

Divorced situations with children are so difficult. There are people that really use the money for groceries and their kids school clothes, but then there are others… that don’t. 🙁 I don’t agree that it is restitution for divorce… that would be alimony. I truly believe that money should go solely for the kids. We never got any though, since my parent told my other parent if they would just sign over custody they wouldn’t ask for any. Still, that parent complained that the other parent never did anything for us (which was sadly, pretty true).

 

Next topic… DIY. You will not look like Pinterest fails. Also, can we please see some pictures of your projects? Or do you have old threads on that? I really love personal, DIY details in weddings. Then again, I don’t like anything too look too pressed and pristine, eclectic and natural is more my style. What kind of DIY did you end up doing?

 

Money is so stressful. FI & I have a contribution from his parents, and we’ll likely get one from one of mine, but otherwise we are paying for it ourselves, and yeah… I will have good days, then I will have days where I freak out about not being able to pay for what we would like.

 

Third, your thumbnail should be able to be fixed, but you may need an acrylic nail over it. At least it wasn’t your entire thumb!

 

 

 

Post # 16
Member
9956 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2012

TO @Weetzie: agreed… everyone’s case is different… just that in my experience there are a lot more Divorced Women who walk in the shoes I wore, than the example you gave.

I have a lot of compassion for your story as well…

I feel for you.. cause that woman (and her new husband) sounds like a total piece of work.

IF they are abusing the childern (and you guys can prove it)… you so need to get involved with Social Services to protect the kids, and hopefully get custody transferred back to their Dad.

NO Child should have to live thru that H3LL !!

(( HUGS ))

— — —

PS… Take care of that thumb.  I agree with GoldStar there are ways to fix it… so it at least looks ok for Wedding pics

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