(Closed) And its starting… (VENT)

posted 6 years ago in Family
Post # 4
1418 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

@DDG84: I would tell your mom she was very hurtful. Remind her that she is the one who offered, and she should be happy for you. If she doesn’t want to host it, fine, do it yourselves, but lay on the guilt! Guilt is great. Not to get what you want, but she should feel bad. Also, buy your own wedding dress and choose the one you want, your mom does not deserve a say. I will be paying for my own dress and no one will give me their two cents! haha

Post # 5
46242 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

You are an adult.  For some perverse reason your Mom likes to jerk your chain. Time to set some boundaries for your mom.

The next time she offers to pay for something just thank her for her offer and politely decline.

I would not recommend playing guilt games as the pp suggested . You want to maintain a relationship with your mother and adopting childish behavior won’t help.

Post # 7
173 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

First of all, I wanted to say it’s really kind of you to be sensitive of the fact that it’s your fiance’s first marriage.  As much as we want our mothers to be our biggest supporters and cheerleaders, sometimes I feel like the close relationship we share means that they can overstep.  If you feel like the two of you have some awkwardness, maybe you can talk to your mom about how it hurts your fiance, instead of how it hurts you – especially since you mentioned that she likes him a lot.  If you say hey I totally get that this is my second wedding and maybe you have certain feelings about that, but this is fiance’s first marriage, and for his sake I think both of us should be sensitive of saying certain things and acting a certain way.  As long as you don’t think that will backfire.  

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