Post # 1
I hate to be a whiner/complainer, however sometimes I need to vent. And my fiance has enough on his plate to vent about his Mother to him, when he sees it all too.
I have griped about her neglect to our rehearsal dinner and her big plans she has for FBIL’s rehearsal that’s wedding is exactly 2 months after ours. I’ve griped about her neglect in appreciation for our wedding in general. My fiance put it right on the nose. Our wedding is the appetizer to their entree’.
She has bought her dress for their wedding, and when I asked her if she found one to ours, she said she isn’t too worried about it, since the wedding is in my hometown and she won’t know as many people. She will just wear something she has in the close (now keep in mind, i dont think she needs to buy a new dress, it’s just hurtful the way she acts upon things) She planned to help us with our favors, we are making popcorn, a special kind that our families make, and she had the nerve to email me last night asking me if we have a favor back up plan. UMMM NO FMIL, we don’t. We already had the labels made by a good friend and our bags made. So no, I told Fiance we will just make them ourselves since we are now such a burden on somethign that we have asked her if she’s sure about at least 5 times since xmas.
NOW, we come to find out, she is helping people CHOOSE what wedding to go to. She told my FIANCES cousins, that they should come to FBIL wedding if they have to choose since it’s in August and it’s a nice time of year in MN. 🙁 That didn’t seem right.
PHEW, sorry if i sound neurotic, but our wedding is in 39 days. And I think i’m just feeling the hype and stress of everything all in one. And sometimes I feel like the height of my stress stems from hurtful things that come out of that womans mouth….
Post # 3
I am so sorry you are dealing with this still. It is so hurtful but you are handling it as best you can. Just enjoy the rest of what’s left to do and especially ENJOY YOUR DAY!!! Don’t make her problem, your problem no matter how hurtful and rude and insensative and unthoughtful, and terrible she is being.
Post # 4
39 days to go!! So close.
I know how you feel about the lack of involvement on FMIL part. Mine was the same way. She wanted to be involved then flaked every single time and it sucked she wasn’t happy for us and she let DH down time and time again. Heck, she helped out more with DH’s friends wedding a few years back than she did with ours. She didn’t even stay for the rehearsal dinner.
I say keep doing what you are doing, if she makes a negative comment tell you her “Gotta run, suppers ready” if you HAVE to talk to her. If it’s your FI that deals with her, ask him not to tell you any of the negative things she says. If need be, tell her less and less about the wedding. This is what DH did because he was tired of hearing the negativity.
Ignore her and keep up the good work!
Post # 5
I’m sorry that FMIL is acting that way. Yep, Just ignore her, or let FI deal with it. Enjoy what you are doing/have planned and your wedding day! 🙂 Don’t let her get you down. Also, maybe the people that she is talking to about not coming to your wedding, will ignore her too, and actually show up to your wedding! 🙂
Post # 6
Wow. If you decided to talk to her about it, explain her behavior is hurting your feelings. Explain that you and FI feel like she’s treating FBIL’s wedding as the entree and your wedding as the appetizer. And its hurting your feelings and damaging your relationship.
Post # 7
Wow, that’s really unfair. This really has to be laid out to her – spell out the differences side by side to her – “you’re doing this for FBIL but you are doing this for our wedding” I would suggest leaving this up to FI unless you’re pretty close to her. Good luck! Keep us posted.