- 4 years ago
- Wedding: October 2013
Sigh, Bees, I am feeling frustrated with my bridal party.
I have a Man of Honor (bff since we were 14) Bridesmaid Excited (cousin), Bridesmaid Mexico (cousin), Bridesmaid Bride (friend who was recently married), and Bridesmaid tween (12yo FI’s niece)
Shower: attended by Maid/Matron of Honor, Bridesmaid Tween, and Bridesmaid or Best Man Excited who emceed
Bachelorette: hosted by Maid/Matron of Honor and also attended by Bridesmaid or Best Man Excited
SO far, in other posts, you Bees have indicated that their only responsibility is to be there the day of the wedding, not at everything leading up. But now..
The day of the wedding: Bridesmaid or Best Man Bride and Bridesmaid or Best Man Tween have already let me know they can’t come to my house for the “getting ready part.”BM Bride said it was too far (45mins) from where she was staying and she didnt have a way to get out there (she could borrow a car from her in laws as she has done before, rent a car, or take a cab). She could also take the train which stops DIRECTLY IN FRONT of the salon where we are getting ready. I think it’s the hour (8am) that scared her. I offered that Bridesmaid or Best Man Mexico could give her a ride but she wanted to be picked up (it’s 30 mins north of where Bridesmaid or Best Man Mexico is staying and then they would have to turn back around to come back south to where I live…). She kept telling me getting to the suburbs was hard and when I mentioned that I was giving Maid/Matron of Honor a ride home asked if she could come too. o I said she could stay the night… then changed my mind and let her know. Now she wants to just get ready on her own and meet me at the church…
Bridesmaid or Best Man Tween‘s mom is scared that she will be lonely and so initially invited herself to come to my house for the getting ready part too and was planning on bringing my future Mother-In-Law and Father-In-Law…. Fiance let her know that I was hoping to limit the # of people there bc I didnt want to be nervous and hosting the morning of the wedding. Now Bridesmaid or Best Man Tween’s mom let me know that they will just meet me at the church.
Bridesmaid or Best Man Mexico hand delivered all the Mexican invitations and has been emailing her support but couldnt be here because of distance and price beforehand. She is staying at a hotel downtown but has also expressed concern about getting to suburbs though she said she woudl do it.
Bees, I know that asking people to come out is a slight hassle, but we are 30 minutes max from the venue, it’s not like t’s super far. And the point of this was to get hair & makeup done together –which I am paying for as I did with their dresses as well. I also wanted to get bridal party photos which seems pointless now bc half the bridal party wont be there.
Now it feels like I basically am paying for people to get all done up so they could come to a party and sit in pictures, but they don’t actually have to do anything. I know I’m sounding a little bratty but I thought a Bridesmaid or Best Man party wasa supposed to be there to support you, help you, and share in your special day. Mine for most part has been about making excuses….
Also…. okay, I’m just going to put it out there. I bought some rocking bridesmaid gifts. I bought micheal kors purses and put a scarf and flask inside. Now I feel like an idiot for spending so much money on these things and feel like returning them. Is that petty? For my Maid/Matron of Honor I still plan on giving him his gift (a Movado watch) and for Bridesmaid or Best Man excited giving her her gift, but everyone else…. I am just feeling like I will look dumb giving them a ton of things and then they couldnt even be there for me. Bridesmaid or Best Man Bride in particular bugs me bc for her I went to her Vegas bachelorette party, was THERE for her at her wedding, bringing her her fave gateroade the morning of the wedding bc she was hung over from her rehersal dinner. btw, I got a ride to a different state and stayed in a hotel. Nobody held my hand. She has not been to anything of mine…
Thoughts? Not just about the gifts, that’s a minor thing but about how to handle the whole morning of thing and the fact that I am feeling like a sucker and wishing I would have just screwed having a Bridal party