Post # 1
Bees, I’m shocked. It finally happened….
My wedding just got dramatic.
I’ve been engaged now for 8 months. I’ve booked all of my vendors, bought my wedding dress, and basically have had an amazingly stress free, wonderful engagement- until this weekend. My bridesmaid called me this weekend and 1) told me she doesn’t feel right being in my wedding anymore, and 2) would rather we ended our friendship all together!
Why is it that weddings suddenly make people go INSANE?
I’ve been friends with this girl for over 20 years. This is no mere acquaintance. It all started when I opted to pick my roommate from college as my Maid/Matron of Honor instead of her. She felt she was owed an explanation as to why it wasn’t her. Mainly, although I’ve known this girl the longest, I wouldn’t say we’re the closest, and she’s something of a scatterbrain and gets incredibly anxious about just about everything. The girl I chose to be my Maid/Matron of Honor has been a great friend to me for years and is super laid back, calm, cool and collected. Apparently, my friend of 20 years has been stewing about this decision for the past 4 months and decided that this was enough of a reason to end our friendship. She will not only be defecting from my bridal party, but she will not be attending the wedding or ever speaking to me again. I thought this stuff only happened on Bridezillas?!
Post # 3
Wow! That is crazy! You didn’t have any indication that she as upset before she ‘broke up’ with you? If your relationship has been the same since you got engaged, eg. still talking on the phone and getting together, I would guess there are other things going on in her life that you may not be aware of, or that she has had some insecurities about your relationship for a while. If you want to maintain the friendship, I would try writing a letter to your friend, explaining how much you value her and that you are sorry that she is hurt and would like to mend the relationship. You still have a good amount of time until your wedding, maybe this will all blow over by then. Good luck!
Post # 4
What?!?! That makes no sense.. at all. It seems like maybe this girl is not only upset she wasnt moh but maybe a bit jealous of your engagement. I agree, if you want to keep any sort of relationship maybe you should try a letter.. if you dont, then luckily she pulled herself out before you had to ask her to leave.
Post # 5
The same thing happened to me – friend of 17 years, asked her to be my Maid/Matron of Honor (she declined that but said she’d be a Bridesmaid or Best Man, should have been my first red flag)… EMAILED me to say she had some furniture she needed to buy for her new apt, but thanks for including her.
Post # 6
Well I knew she was upset about not being picked at Maid/Matron of Honor. That was about 4 months ago, and since then we’ve both been holding a bit of a grudge about how the situation was handled (she was mad that I didn’t tell her ahead of time that I was asking this other person to be my Maid/Matron of Honor, and I thought it was rude that she would automatically expect it should be her, and on top of that she approached my Maid/Matron of Honor about her feelings before talking to me about it, and she doesn’t even know that girl!)
Even though we were a bit unhappy with each other we were still texting and keeping in touch. I’ve lived in NY for the part 3 years, and she lives in MA, so it’s hard for us to see each other, but we were still talking. I thought we were just giving each other some time, and we’d get over it eventually like we always do. She had plenty of opportunities to tell me she was still upset, but she didn’t. We went from texting back and forth about a new book we were reading, to her all of a sudden saying she doesn’t want to talk to me anymore. Very strange.
Post # 7
@7SEVENJ9: She said she didn’t want to be in your wedding because she had to buy FURNITURE?? The nerve of some people! “Sorry dear friend, you’re less important to me than an armchair!”