Post # 1
Just really saddened and annoyed and irritated that a thread on another part of this forum was just closed down because the OP asked how to deal with a situation about a pregnant bridesmaid and her policy the she and her Fiance decided no children, no babies, no exceptions. More understanding people offered support and help, but plenty of people jumped in with judgement, snark, rude comments, and insinutations of being a bad friend, selfish, closed minded, etc.
When some of us came to the OP’s defense, the thread was interjected by a reminder that we should stay on topic, and was eventually closed. But why is it that the posters who almost ripped the OP a new one becasue they coudln’t beleive she didn’t want kids there (“honestly, I think the whole ‘no-kids-wedding thing is ridiculous”, or “I also can’t believe these no-kids weddings, I’m glad I have reasonable and level-headed friends”, or “how dare your Bridesmaid or Best Man go and get pregnant before your wedding. She obviously should have worked her family planning around you getting married, duh!”..paraphrases, but not too far off from the originals), are allowed to do so in such a rude and insensitive way and then no one commented on how they were being inappropriate or how they needed a reminder of openness and non-judgemental discussion?? It’s so frustrating and even though we are reminded that this is a forum where everyone can have their own opinions, it seems the family and child-oriented are allowed to get away with far more than those of us who say “we dont’ want or like kids at weddings. the end”.
Post # 4
Agreed, Double standards 🙁
Post # 5
It is veryyy frustrating. I feel bad for that OP – some of those comments were really harsh.
Post # 6
And this is why I always think twice before posting a question on the boards here…
Post # 7
FWIW, we had a no kids rule at our wedding.
I closed the thread because was no longer productive or helpful to the OP. When threads go off topic, or start running in circles, we try to get it back on topic. If that doesn’t work, they’re closed.
Post # 8
@MrsWrangler: Exactly. Really harsh. Totally the opposite of what the hostesses and moderators try so hard to honor!! I am absolutely in favor of the mods encouraging everyone to be mindful of how things may sound…I’m not trying to say that people SHOULD be able to be snarky and mean and hurtful and snide….but it just seems that the kids and baby topic is such a hot-button issue, those who are on the “no kids” side seem to be silenced a lot more than those who jump in with holier-than-thou rants about how ‘what if something happened to that baby, you’d then be able to see how minor your issues are’, or ‘it’s so ridiculous to not include children, its rude and inconsiderate and i would NEVER imagine not having lots of adorable kids running around’ that aren’t constructive and are basically just preaching in a tone that makes other posters feel that they are obviously being judged.
Post # 9
That thread got crazy and went totally off topic. This type of thread isn’t helpful either. If you have an issue or question a mods choice you can PM them to explain your thought process.
@MrsSl82be: I don’t think the thread got closed because of a double standard, it got closed because it took a turn and got ugly.
Post # 10
@MrsDrRose612: Sorry, but these kinds of posts don’t help your cause. They just fuel drama.
Post # 11
@bakerella: I totally understand that, and as I said in my previous post, I understand and appreciate what you and the other mods and hostesses do here. It just seems to be a common theme. I understand it’s impossible for you to filter through EVERY single post, and that we can flag certain posts, etc. It was just a little frustrating to see that those of us who supported that OP were seemingly being silenced. It’s not so much a gripe about the closing of the threads, its’ just that it seems people like the posters in that thread who were purposely and knowingly being mean and rude are able to…I don’t know…get away with it easier than those of us who counter what they say.
I’m not trying to stir the pot any more…it just seems that some “camps” are able to get less of a voice. I could be wrong, but that’s how I’ve felt. And for what it’s worth, I think you all do a great job. I just think some topics and some views are the ones that get silenced more easily than others. Just my speculation.
Post # 12
Okay, well if it’s a problem, just close this one too. Shouldn’t have started it. No more posts from me.