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i'd agree with Camille's suggestion.
one of the reasons why i was seriously looking into a DOC is for setup...everyone that i trust to carry out my vision will need to be in pictures and helping me get ready/getting ready themselves.
but i had some volunteers at my church offer to do my decor. so'll i'll be rolling with that.
This was my question as well... we ened up hiring a DOC in a large part because of this. When my friend got married, she was fortunate enough to get into the hall the day before the wedding and church ladies and friends got everything set up. That was impossible for us- we couldn't get into the room until the morning of the wedding, so our DOC was a lifesaver.
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We are looking into having a DOC if our catere won't handle the setup. We will have most things predone. But it is an outdoor reception and we can't put the tablecloths down or set the tables the night before, with our luck one of the neigborhood cats would have fun walking all over the tables and leavign muddy footprints on the napkins.
We are going to prefold the knwpkings and tuck the menu card in them so that they just need to be set out with the silverware and centerpieces.
I too recommend going the Day Of Coordinator route. After all, your friends and family are also your guests and deserve to enjoy the day as well. Besides, a DOC would be responsible for producing your "vision" and would pay more attention to how the escort cards are displayed and menus are tucked, etc. etc... And YOU certainly don't want to be stressing about this on the wedding day either!
whoever you ask to help out, make it easier on them by organizing your things as best you can. for example, alphabetize the placecards and put them in a box, along with a sheet on how you want them arranged. a photo is even better. also, make sure you have someone take down the stuff if your venue won't.
we dropped off everything to our venue a week before and i labeled everything with what it was, which room it belonged in, special care instructions, and how it should look. on the day of, everything was where it belonged, which made me sooooo happy. we were lucky, they set up everything and also packed up everything for us at the end of the night, so i didn't have ot assign that to anyone. but i did have a small excel sheet putting my sister in care of our kate spade cake knife and server, as well as members of the bridal party making sure we had our clothes and stuff.
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Day of Coordinator and her assistant..
dont enlist your friends or fam to do this...
I did it for my sister's wedding, and it was no big deal.
If it's not in your budget to hire a coordinator, what about a cousin or aunt? I would make sure to pick someone not in the wedding party.
yea i agree with MJ. if it's minor things like placing place cards + menus... i would just enlist the help of your family. like for example, i have 2 sisters not in my wedding party so they will be involved in helping me set up those things. they'll be there early anyway (for pictures, etc). i would make sure to give everyone (no matter who you pick) detailed instructions to make it easier for them.
Our venue (which is also providing the catering) will do any setup that involves the tables where the guests will be seated (e.g., favors, menus, etc) as long as we provide the items and show them how we want them set up. Any other table decor, including items like the guest book, we have to arrange separately. The florist and cake people will coordinate with the venue for their parts of the setup. Any setup that we have to do we have arranged to do BEFORE the ceremony, just to make sure we have enough time and so that nobody has to miss out on the actual festivities. This is also what we did for my sister's wedding a few years ago. For wedding at 4, cocktails at 5, reception at 6 we will have access to the rooms for set-up at 1:00, which we figure should be plenty of time before we have to start getting dressed and ready.
Of course we are doing minimal set-up - the venue is handling all room decor except for flowers, so between the florist, venue, caterer and such it is mostly handled already.
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One thing to consider if you do not have the money for a DOC is most places will let you have the napkins a week ahead of time. This way you can fold the menu card in there and add the ribbon, then ask a friend to place it on the table for you.
I am doing the menu in the napkins ahead of time and having the charicover/linen person place them on each setting.
Good luck!!
You should be able to get in the morning of the wedding, anything past 12:00 is unacceptable. They can't expaect people to skip the wedding to do this. 12:00 day ofis the latest my venue has tolet me in to get set up
You will have to deligate out things to family members however, and make sure you ask if there's ANY possibility you can get into the venue the night before. They may not be able to tell you until the week of, but it can really help if you can.
My venue says as long as there no "pop-up funeral reception" being held the night before there's no reason why I shouldn't be able to come in and do it with the maids and moms.
And even though I have a linen lady, if I wanted my napkins folded a certain way I would have had to do it myself the week before and deliver them to be laid out by staff.
Count your blessings they don't do any of that - the prices my place wanted was insaine to do something as simple as place favors out.
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My question is related to many of the comments above. Is it really such poor form to have friends and family help out on the day of wedding, if it is all going to be done that morning, before the actual wedding?
My friend is also engaged and she insists on not having any friends/family help out that day and agrees that this is rude.
However, my friends and family (who are not a part of the wedding party) all insist that I must NOT hire a DOC because they WANT to help and don't want me to pay a stranger loads of money to do what they can do. My cousin is in interior design and has helped me do a lot of event planning so I completely trust her and know she is capable... but more than that, she is completely willing. Is it really bad to put her in charge of setting up the extra things like escort table, menu placement, etc.? I know I have done this for many a friend and family's wedding and totally loved being asked and able to do it...
It probably depends on your friends and family. In my family, we always help out with the setup. In fact, I will probably have a bunch of friends and family (other than those I have asked to help) just show up early to see what needs to be done... They would feel sort of slighted if we didn't let them. If there's nothing to be done they will all just drink coffee and gossip and entertain each other. I suppose some people's friends and family would feel as if they weren't being treated as guests if they were asked to help - and in that case it would be inappropriate.
I agree with you, pancy! I've done this for friends before and am having my friends and family (including my very small wedding party) help with this. We have a very limited time in the facility (ceremony and reception in the same space). Me and my girls will have an hour to set up three buffet tables, cake, gift and guest book tables and a few other decorations. All my friends are more than happy to do this and all insisting that they will take care of it so that I can have some pictures done. My MIL is an interior decorator as well and I completely trust her to make any last minute executive decisions. I feel that as long as you ask people if they will help (instead of assuming), give them plenty of heads up, and give them the information they need, most people are more than happy to help. I agree that it would be much better if you can set everything up before the ceremony, that way no one has to miss out on the end of the ceremony or the pictures in order to set up. Also, there's nothing more frustrating than knowing there's a million things that need to be done and having no idea how to help! I was at our best man's wedding in November. We were there to help set up for the Rehearsal Dinner. The MOH had a cryptic hand drawn sketch of how she wanted everything set up that no one could decypher and she had no idea where anything was that we needed in order to set up. It was so frustrating! Finally the bride showed up and we had to totally under everything we'd done because he hadn't intrepreted the sketch correctly. I vowed that this would not happen at my wedding. I have table layouts done in a page layout software with pictures of all the elements and exactly where they should go. Hopefully, everyone will be well prepared. Mostly likely they'll be more likely to complain about the abundance of information! But they wouldn't expect anything less from this OCD bride!
Absolutely agree that it's completely appropriate to ask close family/friends who are not in the bridal party to help out with set-up on the day-of, if you are not hiring a wedding coordinator.
People are more than happy to help you out. Just be very organized and give people enough notice that you are enlisting their assistance. Write down all the things you need done that day, and assign it to one trusted person, or divide the responsibilities up (who should the florist ask for upon arrival, list of everyone who will get a butounierre/corsage).
Make copies & give them out at the rehearsal, along with all the goods (toasting glasses, guestbook, seating cards, favors, etc.). That way, you can enjoy your wedding day without sweating the details because they've been entrusted to people you love.
If someone is offended that they are asked to help out and not treated properly as a guest, are they close enough to you to want to ask them for help anyway?
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Thank you all for your advice! You guys brought up a lot of stuff I hadn't even thought of! Making organized lists and charts is definitely a great idea. Hopefully I will be able to make something that makes sense and recruit enough people to make it happen.
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Hi, I am a bit clueless about this topic and was wondering if you all could help. The manager at my venue says that she does not do anything like arrange the place cards on the sign in table or any other type of decor arrangement, such as tucking the menus in the napkins and wrapping a nice satin ribbon around it for that matter. I was wondering, besides enlisting your family or bridesmaids to feverishly get it done in between the ceremony and the cocktail hour when they are supposed to be taking pictures with me at the church, who else can you get to make things pretty? Is it something a florist would do? Or is it something you just impose on some of your guests/friends to do? I found it a bit odd that the venue says they don't do it, but I haven't had experience with this before, so I don't know if this is common. Any advice would be much appreciated! Thanks!