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Weddingbee should have a DRAMA board!! It's been 7 weeks since the wedding and this just pops up in my email. WTH? Sorry it's so long, but it may provide you some entertainment! This is from my husband's aunt after I wrote to a friend "I'm cooking steaks tonight!" which she replied "You mean hotdogs right?"
JewishBride, I am very upset with you right now. Don't EVER try to publically put me in my place again. If you do, you will find I can bite back! I don't normally "snoop" around your site. I could care less what you had for dinner or that you got your hair cut; "like" this or that, etc!What is this "picking out names for jew spawn?" Are you pregnant already? Is that why you aren't working, yet? I really don't care one way or another. I actually would like to see JewishGroom with children, but I would think you would mention it to your FAMILY, before joking w/your "friends" publically. You have really changed since the wedding. Once you were sure the "wedding," as it were, was taking place -- you ceased interacting with us, his family! You were always were "too busy" with the wedding plans...doing what, may I ask? It was a backyard barbecue at your house with you in a semi-formal wedding dress and JewishGroom in a suit. Yes, I was disappointed that you gave up the park idea. We (my family) offered to help put on the reception for JewishGroom (and it would not have been brats and hamburgers, which was surprising since you "claim" your mother is a "chef!") but you chose otherwise, which is YOUR business! All in all, I had a really nice time at your wedding, it was not a Jewish wedding, but it was a nice wedding. But I can't see where all the "work" went! It seems you simply didn't want to spend any time with us...one always ends up living with the consequences of their choices... While I'm (bitching,) please lose the wedding dress! It has been nearly 7 weeks since "the wedding". It is unseemly for a married woman to prance around in a "virginal" wedding gown so long after the fact! Remember, YOU have been the stickler for "etiquette," not I. I know you're happy being married, and I really am happy for you, too, but don't make the mistake of trying to be an extension OF JewishGroom -- you are a person, too! Put one of your many beautiful photos on as your "Profile Picture," we all know you are a wife, too! Another (bitch:) Why would you send me a card signed, "Mr. and Mrs. [Jewish Groom]????" I'm not a stranger or casual acquaintance; I'm his Aunt and godmother! It hurt my feelings, frankly! I wrote it off as a newlywed who was proud of her new title, but watch how you use it -- you will be treated accordingly. Did you send his MOTHER one with the same signature?? I know I'm being hard on you, JewishBride, but it's better that this all come out now, before it becomes really mean! I have tried to treat you as a real niece -- not just my nephew's wife. I thought that's is what you wanted...I'm not really sure WHAT you want, anymore...you have stopped all communication since your bridal shower. It's up to you now. You decide how to proceed, but remember, I am JewishGroom's Aunt, and he my heir -- I am, also, 40 years older than you. For at least those three reasons, I expect and demand respect from you! Clear enough?? I will end this, now, and await your decisions. I have given you a lot to be upset with me about, so think it through before you answer me -- if you do. I still love you and will always --unless YOU choose otherwise. --Auntie My love to JewishGroom If you want to show this to JewishGroom -- go ahead, it may help you. I have been snippy, but very honest with you -- as I've always promised to be. -r.
OMFG WOW.
Is there some more background behind this that you can share? Did something happen?
If this came from the blue, I wouldn't respond. She sounds like she loves drama and you would only be feeding it at that point. Also, remember, that anything you do respond with can be forwarded and altered.
Woah. That is one hot mess of an in-law!!! I'm glad you seem so calm about it! I do not think I could be calm. Dang.
I would also like to know what happened prior to this and if you have showed it to your husband and what was his reaction to it.
Did she really copy/paste it three times, or was that just an issue of getting on here?
Whoa! Even once, I'm curious about the backstory.
I really can't believe she wrote that... you have EVERY right to be really upset and to reply putting her in her place...
... but I really think you shouldn't.
Older people tend to think they can say and do whatever they want, with no consequences. The truth is - when our relatives reach a certain age, we need to start treating them like children...
So I know it's easier said than done, but I'd probably write something back like: "It was never my intention to upset you, I value your love etc etc".
I know she's absurdly wrong but I can't see how you can reason with someone like that...
That is really wild. Sorry she's being very dramatic. I guess you might need to call her and figure out why she's so upset. She is his godmother, so it's not going to go away.
I think part of her freakout is caused by the older generations lack of understanding of online social networking. They tend to take things much more seriously than they are intended and spin things out of proportion. I guess when you didn't grow up with such media, and I was in college when it all started, it seems more serious.
WOW!!! Someone forgot to take their crazy pills today...kidding. I am curious to know what prompted this letter. It has to be more than just steaks and hotdogs. If I got this letter, I wouldn't be so much offended that she's basically said your wedding sucked, because to each their own. If she really wanted a nice one she can have her own or throw a party, right? I would be more upset that she called your Mom a non-chef for serving brats and hamburgers at your wedding. WTF?!
Unfriend immediately!! That or set-up your account so that only certain people see what you post to avoid stuff like this.
This email me gave me a headache!
Good luck with this Aunt. The holiday season is bound to be interesting....YIKES!
Honestly, girls. That is the ENTIRE back story. I did nothing else to prompt this crap. I've been nothing but polite to my in-laws, even when they did things like this. Sorry about it repeating. She did repeat herself twice (weird, i know). I tried editing it so it only said it once but i messed up=(
Anyway, I did reply back, just defending myself mostly and yes, i did delete her! My husband did too...It's sad, but it just proves that you can't treat a spouse poorly and expect the other to act like nothing happened! I can't really talk to her since she lost her hearing recently. It's horrible, but it helps in my siituation since this is the only contact we have.I don't understand half of her comments. Like the wedding gown comment or profile picture. My reaction was "huh?"
Is it possible she's confused? Like... thinks you're someone else?
I'm still not clear on the steak/hot dog comments - who said what exactly?
What did she mean by "Don't EVER try to publically put me in my place again"? This was all completely unprompted? If so, I would find this email hilarious because it is so totally out of nowhere!
this all started because hotdogs and steak?!?! Hmm maybe she isn't a good cook and got upset that you can? idk. crazy stuff!
I would change my online picture to ANOTHER pic of me in my gorgeous wedding dress, then I'd make my status: "Mrs. [Jewish Groom] is trying to pick a name for a jew spawn while eating steak. And I don't respect old hags."
But I'm an instigator. Perhaps you should try a classier route!
Me: "I'm cooking steaks for dinner...yum."
Her: "Tube steaks?"
Me: "Nope. Actual steaks."
I didn't read her last comment until 2 minutes ago.
Her: "Well, most college students don't have that luxury, especially when only one is working."
I'm so happy I didn't read that last comment until now! My husband and I are doing quite well with money. We were celebrating life if she needs a reason. I just moved across state after the wedding 7 weeks ago! I just got hired too. Most of my in-laws haven't been able to work for years and they're giving me crap. I can't belive she said that!
what happened with the hotdogs vs. steak thing?
Like, you said you were making steak, she replied "oh, you mean hotdogs?" and you replied back that you meant "real steak, not tube steak" and she took crazy offence?
notarobot- i know, i really don't understand any of this! When exactly did I "try to put her in her place?"
Um "tube steaks" - really? Could she be any more inappropriate? That isn't exactly classy for someone "40 years older" to be saying.
Bahahahahahahahahaha.
WOW!!! Seriously... I am speechless. This is... soooo wrong.
sooo so soooo very wrong.
Wow.
Wow she's so crazy! It sounds like she really doesn't like you not working but it isn't her place to not like anything! Only you and your husband know how your finances and household should be run, not the entire world! Especially not his cookoo crazy aunt! Just move on, hunny!
WOW. I would be so torn between taking the high road and doing something to spite her.
My advice is to no longer invite her to any of your family events. What she said in the email is unacceptable. If I were you, I'd print it off and show it to not only your husband but also your MIL/FIL.
i feel really bad for you but at least think that it's only his crazy aunt and not your MIL it could be so much worse lmao but that's still ooh you're more calm than i could be i'd have to call that biatch and give her the what for and i'd make sure my husband knew about it too lol
Wow, I'm so very sorry, but I also have to thank you for posting it because reading that letter was the most entertaining part of my day.
Anyway, crazy doesn't begin to cover it. And a brats and burgers reception sounds awesome to me. I would have gladly gone in her place :) What did your husband say about it? Does she treat other people this way? How many heirs (and I love that she pointed that out) does she have to threaten and harass? And does she realize there are multiple meanings for "tube steak"?
Wait...so she commented on your facebook status with a snarky remark and when you politely responded you were "publicly putting her in her place"? Um..yea you should be able to stand up to witchy people and you did it without being rude. The rest of the letter is just psychotic. What a piece of work...is this normal for her? If not, I would be worried something medical is going on or something...idk.
So okay, after rereading her email several times and her response on facebook, I have come up with perhaps why she may have been nuts. Is your Fiance's family jewish? Did you update your status about picking names for "jew spawns" or was that her wording? She could be upset that your wedding wasn't a jewish ceremony and that "jew spawns" sounds offensive to her.
My advice with facebook is never update something that you wouldn't mind sharing with your in-laws. I learned that EVERY status update ends up back to my in-laws via my future sister-in-laws; for example, I wrote that I wasn't feeling well, FMIL calls the next day asking about my health or that a friend is in town, and then FMIL asks Fiance about that person. I also can't put anything political on my facebook, quotes, nothing w/o my FMIL knowing about it. So I just choose not to update very much. I also immediately delete any information about me commenting on friend's walls or pictures, so that people can't go snooping around my friends and my comments. It's a choice I made when I accepted my FSILs friend requests. However, by no means am I condoning her...she's a loon for writing such a nasty message and email!
WeeBirdy You know, you should have taken the place about half of our guests. You would have been way more fun;) It did provide me some great entertainment after being upset over it for a few minutes! It's beeter than a sitcom...
This is completely normal fro his family and this isn't the worst I've experienced! As far as I know she only has one heir...She wants my husband to travel to Jerusalem to spread her ashes. I'm sorry, but that's way too dangerous and selfish for her to request. Especially if we have children!
Nope we never said one word about "Jew Spawn." Our wedding was a mixture (since my family wasn't orthodox). We had Jewish text. ketubah, and a mixture between a chuppah and a arch. Commonly know as an arbor.
I have blocked all of them from seeing my posts, picture comments, or status comments.
She's a nut, sorry you have to deal with that...I guess there's atleast one in each family. Now you know who it is and you can avoid her! Some people don't find out until later in their marriage.
Update:
She wrote my husband a letter and she explained that it was stupid of me to still be displaying wedding photos of us after 7 weeks. She thinks I should move on. I'm sorry, i think they're pretty and remind me of the happiest day of my life! She also repeats that she wasn't insulting me about 9 times in this new letter and just being honest. I wonder if she heard the expression "if you have nothing nice to say don't say anything at all."
I don't understand some people. I guess since I'm impure I'm not allowed to keep wedding photos of my husband and I while I'm wearing a white dress. weird...
@JewishBride: Why does she care so much about what your facebook photo is? Does she have THAT much time on her hands? I'm sorry she said such mean things but she sounds like she's nuts!
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