- 6 years ago
- Wedding: March 2013
I was amused by this lady’s comment on a thread where someone talks about good old “I want to get married but …”
This thread makes me angry. I’m in a similar situation. I’m 30, my boyfriend is 28. I’ve had health problems. He says the health problems don’t change his view of me. Maybe this is bunk.
If marriage didn’t exist, my relationship would be perfect. No two people more right for each other. Yadda yadda. I’m not going to get into the details.
What makes me angry about this is how many of you women I see being exceptionally cool about the whole deal. You know what you want — committment. You want long term stability. You’re not necessarily pressing kids or wealth or a big frou frou ceremony. You’re just wanting to know this person thinks you’re worth it. Otherwise, why continue? You’re trying to balance self respect with your need for companionship. Women are amazing at knowing what their needs are. Guys suck at it. Guys can’t analyze themselves worth a damn, and women do it all the time. Society, which was built by men and in their image, considers this skill at self analysis “neurotic.” They train us to call it “brain chatter.” We are supposed to train ourselves not to want what we want in order to be happy in life.
THIS IS GARBAGE. Men get whatever the god damned hell they want. Their minds are quiet during the day and they can get things done. They get all the money, power, and success in the world and women get ****. We just sit around waiting for some guy to propose, trying to make the best and coolest compromise possible. Men won’t compromise.
So what gives, men? Why won’t you get married? What’s your deal? For those of you already living with your girlfriends, for those of you who already have kids with a woman, for those of you who are engaged, FINISH THE JOB. I don’t understand this one-foot-in and one-foot-out approach to relationships and I would like it explained to me. The cool, amazing woman in your life is doing her best to compromise what she really wants so you can each have some of what you want. She’s trying to equalize the balance of power, not *****-whip you. How about in exchange for proclaiming your love for her, she gives up the froufrou party and the expensive ring? Maybe instead of an overpriced, overhyped piece of jewelry, you both go and make an investment together that will benefit both of you in the future? We women aren’t whiny biddies trying to rope you down. We’re trying to equalize the balance of power, end the stupid love games, and get real. DO YOU LOVE HER OR NOT???? And really, is this whole marriage phobia some kind of macho thing? Or is it rooted in you thinking that just as soon as you tie the knot, some better piece of *** will come along? Do you really think you’re that great of a catch?
I have had it with games and the exploitation of gender differences. I’m tired of women and men being enemies where men are trying as hard as possible to get a lot of sex and a woman is trying as hard as possible to rope a man down and make babies. NEITHER OF THOSE THINGS ARE TRUE. They are extreme ideals that are used by popular culture against both genders to keep the war going. Both men and women need to stop listening to it and I see that a lot of these women on this thread are trying really hard to stop listening to it.
But our hearts want know we are loved. That’s all. What’s your deal, men? **** or get off the pot. We’re all tired of your BS.