Post # 1
Sad today, as yesterday was our two-year anniversary and I didn’t get the proposal I was hoping for. Deep down I knew it wouldn’t happen, as we were only going to dinner (and I’m the one that arranged it), but a girl can’t help but wish.
I also failed at Mr. Bees pact – I was trying so hard not to say anything – but eventually I caved and said “Ok, do you see us being engaged by our third anniversary?”
He just said that he thought so, but that was a really long time away. Then he asked why I kept bringing it up, and I explained to him that it’s really hard knowing it’s going to happen but not having any control over when. I’m really type A, and he knows this.
So he just said, “Oh, I get that”. No reassuring words, just ended the conversation then. Considering it was just over a month or so ago that he stated that he wanted us to get married “Right away” (unprompted, completely on his own). Now all I get is crickets. And, this was the last proposal-worthy event until Christmas. Eff me.
Guess it’s time to hit the gym and keep myself busy. I hate waiting!
Post # 3
Boo, that’s hard. Waiting really sucks. At least you’re doing something productive (gym), so that’s a positive! *hugs*
Post # 4
@readynwaiting58: That sucks, but I don’t get why people expect proposals on holidays like Xmas or anniversaries. That’s so cliche.
He could propose on ANY day between now and your next anniversary. If I were you, I would seriously consider leaving him if he doesn’t propose by your third anniversary. You seem to be going crazy already. I’m not saying he “owes” you a proposal or anything, but we all have our own timelines, right? I think that by 3 years in he should know if he wants to marry you or not.
Post # 5
@discodance: Thanks for the hugs! They are needed, lol.
@canarydiamond: I don’t think I can say “I will leave by X date if he hasn’t proposed” We live together, have a dog, share finances, and I love him like he’s my husband already. He’s expressed many, many times that he wants to marry me, but I think because we’re young and just getting started in our careers (23 & 24), I think that’s what is making him wait. He always says, “I know I want you to be my wife, I just have to bite the bullet and buy a ring”. Romantic, I know. But he’s very practical.
In a sense, he sort of already has a timeline that he self-imposed. He wants to buy a house a year from now, and he KNOWS that I won’t be buying it with him if we’re not engaged. If he goes ahead with buying the house and there isn’t a ring on my finger, he knows for certain that I won’t be going with him. But hopefully it doesn’t come to that – I love him with all my heart.
Post # 6
@readynwaiting58: So this is a really good sign, right?
Your follow-up post indicates to me that you need to relax a little. It sounds like you will get a ring in the next year 🙂
Post # 7
@canarydiamond: Yeah, I know I need to relax – hoping some more gym time and girls nights will make that happen. I’m just so over the “waiting” game; told him more than once that if he doesn’t anticipate proposing in the near future, then to please not talk about it as it makes me crazy. He obviously doesn’t listen, but I love him anyway 🙂
Thanks for your feedback! I do feel better venting on here lol.
Post # 8
@readynwaiting58: I understand your frustration – I am waiting too (but for diff. reasons). I guess I am trying to reassure you that at least you’re not in a situation where you’re not sure if you’re wasting your 20s on the guy – that would be much worse. But I would put money on the fact that he will propose in the next 12 months. 😀
Post # 9
Girl he doesn’t sound ready, you have got to relax or you’re going to drive yourself and him crazy!!!
Post # 10
@canarydiamond: Haha thanks, I hope so 🙂 He’s been talking about it for ages!
@axeyourmakeupkit: Thank you for your comment. For the record, I don’t talk about it all the time – maybe every couple weeks after he brings something up. He’s assured me many times that he wants to get married, it’s just a matter of going out and buying a ring. I’d categorize him as “comfortable” rather than “commitment-phobe”.
Post # 11
I feel you. I already know that it isn’t gonna happen for our 5th…. *sadness*. But he tells me he should have the money to put for the ring the month after so hopefully i will be with you for the year’s end club.
Post # 12
I’m almost positive that I will be in your shoes in less than a month. My three year anniversary is coming up and although we’ve talked about getting engaged, we’ve talked about ring styles and budget and the money is there, I just don’t think it’s gonna happen. And I’m trying to keep my chin up, but holy hell it’s hard! I want to spend the rest of my life with my SO he just needs to get a move on! The best thing to do, is to talk about it in a no pressure situation. I had an open and honest discussion with my SO a few months ago, an since then it’s something we can discus without either of us getting hurt.
Just make sure that you want to be engaged for all the right reasons and it’ll happen.
Post # 13
To me it sounds like – if he said completely on his own with no poking or proding, that he wanted to get married, right away, the crickets you experienced is because he doesn’t want to ruin the surprise.
But that is my two sense & I could be completely wrong.
Post # 14
@flowersandfaerydust: I sure hope you’re right! Send some of that faerydust my way, lol 🙂 It is strange, though, he talking about engagement a lot like a month ago and now he’s completely quiet about it. I did have a crazy momenta few weeks ago where I said I felt like it was never going to happen, and he said “I thought you and I were on the same page? I told you I want to get married, and soon”. I just need to shut up and let it happen. Easier said than done, though!
@Sapphire-Dreamer: I’ll be crossing my fingers for you! Although they can do it at any time, for some reason the anniversary just seems like a proposal-ready day, ya know?
@GamerGirl: Good luck, and stay strong! We’ve had many talks about it, and he knows I want to get married to HIM, not just for a ring. But given the amount of talks we’ve had, and his “unofficial proposal” within the first few months of dating, I feel like I need a ring for it to feel real, if that makes sense.
Post # 15
If he seems surprised that it’s on your mind, that tells me that you haven’t had a real, honest, deep conversation about your future and what you want. Which isn’t good. I’d suggest that you both outline your hopes and expectations, stat.
Post # 16
I totally understand. My SO came to visit me in Florida( I worked at Disney) for his birthday a week in april. It has always been my dream to be proposed to in front of Cinderella Catsle.. but it didnt happen… Then he came back for our 4 year aniversary in May! I just knew he was going to propose but it did not happen.. I realized and he has even said it.. that it will hapen when i least expect it! I overheard maybe my college graduation in May.. Valentines hey maybe before 2013 even hits! So I totally get where you are coming from I guess we got a little while longer to go 🙂