Announced my engagement, and friend looked the other way,,,,

posted 3 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
2299 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

@memo:  You could just ask her if everything is ok, and mention that she seemed a little distant or off during dinner… I sure wouldn’t be like “Bitch, why aren’t you thrilled for me?!” but I would want to know if she was alright.

Post # 5
Member
1036 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

Yeah, just bring it up and ask her. It will drive you crazy if you don’t. And if shes a good friend you should give her the benefit of the doubt that something was wrong. It could be something as silly as she had a bad stomach ache. 

Post # 6
Member
2516 posts
Sugar bee

@memo:  Do you think maybe she was so stressed about planning her own wedding that she’s over weddings now that she’s married? You mentioned that she was married less than a year ago, so that might be it.

Post # 7
Member
2299 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

@somethingaquamarine:  I think if she is just feeling “over” weddings, that’s a pretty crappy excuse for not being happy for a friend who got engaged. I sure hope that isn’t the case.

Post # 11
Member
11379 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2012

@memo:  i would ask her how she’s doing b/c she seemed a bit off at dinner.  don’t bring up the engagement or anything.  i’d also wait to pick your bms.

Post # 12
Member
855 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2008

No, you say nothing. If you recognize that not everyone is going to jump around and do flips because you got engaged, then say nothing if she’s otherwise acting normally. Now if she’s just been distracted and looks bothered lately, you may want to mention THAT, but say nothing about the dinner, the engagement, the lack of congratulations or anything else

Post # 13
Member
1987 posts
Buzzing bee

@DJones69:  +1

I’d be more concerned if something was wrong rather than not getting congratulated. Something may be going on in her life right now. As a friend, I’d want to know if she was okay, not why she didn’t congratulate me. 

Post # 14
Member
1090 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

@memo:  I think you should ask her if she’s ok, but make it a general question. I wouldn’t ask her why didn’t seem to be happy for you, just that you’re wondering if she was sick or sad or something.

Later on, if you still want her to be a BM, you could probably strike up a conversation by first reminiscing about being her BM. You could gauge her potential reaction by talking about her wedding, before you officially ask her.

 

Post # 15
Member
2878 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

Yeah, I’d check in with her and see if everything’s okay.  If she asks why, I’d just say that it seemed like she was acting a bit off that evening and you were worried something was wrong.  As long as you don’t say “hey why aren’t you happy about my engagement” lol I think it will be fine.  Because yea, that is weird. I understand people aren’t going to jump up and down, but a simple congratulations and a smile is standard.

Post # 16
Member
62 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

How good of friends are you? Maybe she was hurt that you didn’t tell her first?

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