Announcements for Elopement?? (kind of long)

posted 2 years ago in Elopement
Post # 2
Member
10 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: December 1969

Hey Girl. There may be different opinions from some of the other ladies, but I really think you should reconsider. First, I do think a couples’ wedding should be about the couple and what they want.  Everything about the wedding itself (even if it’s at civil hall!) should be left up to the bride and groom. But unless you grew up with abusive or terrible parents (sorry, having a mom that is not ‘easy to deal with’ doesn’t count) then I just think it’s selfish not to invite them. And yes, no matter what you end up doing, your moms will get over it, in that they’ll still love you, but they will ALWAYS be hurt by your decision. You don’t need to invite cousins, friends, etc., but I do think it’s beyond inconsiderate not to invite your parents and siblings. 

You don’t have to send out announcements. A formal announcement would be nice, but is not required. Gifts may come, but that’ an indirect consequence of sending the announcemnets.  It’s still a special occasion and many people will want to send gifts. Nothing wrong with that, at all.  

Post # 4
Member
4569 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: May 2016

I disagree with the pp saying that it’s beyond disrespectful and so on. If you dont want to invite them, you do not have to. Don’t let her male you feel bad about it.

I can’t give you advice about the announcements because we are eloping but all of our families/friends know and we are still having a reception.

Post # 5
Member
114 posts
Blushing bee

I personally believe announcements are very important & me & FI actually enjoyed having our announcements made. They fit with our theme (yes, we have a theme even for the tiniest wedding in the world) & include a nice message to our loved ones. They are also a nice keepsake for our grandparents who are too old to travel. We’re only doing about 25 for family and very close friends. Unless you mention a registry or a gofundme type account I don’t see why anyone would consider a simple announcement a gift grab.

Post # 8
Member
10 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: December 1969

MsHeatFan:  Thanks for the added context. After hearing this, I do agree with you. It does sound like a bit of a nightmare scenario. I still think you should, however, put yourself in a position where there will definitely be no regrets in ten years time. One way to do that is to invite your parents to Chicago maybe a week or a month after the wedding to celebrate. They may complain about it, but they don’t have to come. If they do make the effort, you can treat them to a nice celebratory dinner (although they should obviously be the ones treating you but it doesn’t seem like that’s going to happen). It would be a nice gesture on your part and maybe would ease tensions, or at the very least, relieve any guilt you may end up feeling down the line. 

Post # 9
Member
10 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: December 1969

ksn1219:  I wasn’t trying to make anyone feel bad. At the end of the day, the decision not to include a parent in a wedding is a pretty big one and I think reiterating that point is worthwhile. You’re right, at the end of the day it is the couples’ decision who to invite, but just because it’s their decision, doesn’t mean deciding not to include someone isn’t disrespectful (granted, I do understand OP’s situation is difficult and her decision may very well make sense and be the best decision for her). 

Post # 10
Member
900 posts
Busy bee

I disagree with the PP. Having a difficult parent is definitely a good reason not to invite them. 

I am eloping for similar reasons. My mother is extremely controlling. So much so that I could not have the wedding I want because she makes everything about her. 

At the end of the day, it’s about you and your fiancé. Don’t worry about what everyone else wants. Talk about your plans! Be excited! Don’t let her ruin it. 

I think announcements are a great idea. Plus, like other the poster said it could be fun. We are planning on having a photographer at our ceremony so I’ll use one of those pics for ours.

Post # 11
Member
1045 posts
Bumble bee

We just recieved an announcement from DH’s cousin.  They had a small wedding (Less than 10 people).  Personally, we thought it was very tasteful and thoughtful.  AND we did want to send a gift but there wasn’t anything on the announcement about it so we emailed the dad. 

Also, it seemed like the announcement was also updating that they had moved into a different address.  So it helped us update our book.

 

Post # 12
Member
85 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: May 2016

MsHeatFan:  I like how GFerg announced her elopement to their family and friends. You can see it below   http://boards.weddingbee.com/topic/a-quick-cell-phone-picture-from-our-elopement/  or check on Pinterest for elopement announcements. There are So many cute ones out there! 

If you only want a day for just you two then go for it! Maybe you can Skype your ceremony, for your parents. That way they can’t say they did not see you get married. And why is it ok for you guys to pay for the plane tickets and not them? If your mom wants to see you get married that bad then she can fly to you.   Good Luck!!!

Leave a comment


Sent weekly. You may unsubscribe at any time.

Find Amazing Vendors