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FBIL & FSIL welcomed their daughter/our niece into the world today and she's totally perfect. 10 fingers, 10 toes and gorgeous! They were "team green" so the gender was much anticipated. EVERYONE except for FMIL was convinced that it was a boy, even FBIL & FSIL. When FBIL came out to the waiting room and announced "it" was a she we were stunned but absolutely thrilled (I reeeeeally wanted it to be a girl)!
Anyways, considering the gender was a surprise everyone was eager to hear the news. I just hopped on FB and saw that one of their friends posted, on BOTH of their walls, "Congratulations! Hailey _____ sounds beautiful!". I doubt FBIL/FSIL have seen the posts yet since there's no reception in the hospital but if I were them I would be irate. Now, I don't necessarilly take FB that seriously but I just think it's really crappy for someone who is not the babys parents (or in any way related to them) to announce not only the birth but also the gender and full name to all of their FB friends, which is pretty much everyone they know.
How would you feel about someone blowing up your spot?
Yeah, I found out my FSIL had her baby before her and her husband revealed it on facebook (which is normal). I congratulated them in a private message instead of all over their wall. They deserve to tell the world, and not me!
@UpstateCait: Ugh that pisses me off so much! I wouldnt write on someones FB wall saying ANYTHING about a baby until they have posted it themselves (like posted a picture or their own announcment) I just think it's so rude! Same thing goes for pregnant ladies. If I know a friend is pregnant, I would NEVER write something on her wall until she herself posted something about it. I think of it as highly inconsiderate!
I would be PISSED! I hate that people feel that it's appropriate to announce other people's business on facebook. I thought my water may have broken a couple of weeks ago (it didn't, just extra watery discharge that the preggo books don't warn you about) and had called my husband to let him know I was going to the hospital to check. Anywho, later I posted a status about some project I was doing, and this random girlfriend of a friend commented "Wait, I thought you were in the hospital!" um, no, bitch, I'm obviously at home, if I was in the hospital and wanted people to know, pretty sure THAT would have been my status! Why the hell do you think it's ok to comment like that? I deleted it, and reamed into my husband becuase he decided to tell a friend that my water may have broken, and that friend told, like, 20 other people. Argh! Anyway, now he's on information lockdown.
I'm being induced this Monday, and in preparation I've already disabled the feature for people to be able to post on my wall or comment on my statuses. We're trying to keep it from our families until we're actually in the hospital (because they're incredibly stressful, needy people and we don't want them in the room with us, or texting every 5 seconds from the waiting room) and I don't want any of our ignorant friends blowing our cover! I'll keep it turned off until we make the official baby announcement. P.S. you can find those settings under Account->Privacy.
I don't think I'd mind that too much. If you don't tell people not to say it on facebook, they will, so I've learned to make sure to say not to if I want to keep it a secret. If I don't, than it's really my fault.
My sister learned about my grandpa's death on facebook when a cousin posted it, many people learned about my sister's engagement on facebook when she didn't want it on there until she was able to tell close friends in person, etc. Facebook is annoying sometimes.
@PitBulLover: Ditto. We were the first ones to see our friend's baby. We didn't write anything on FB until after they announced. I would be royally pissed if someone wrote on our FB walls before we had a chance to announce it.
@UpstateCait: Totally thoughtless. I agree entirely.
On a happier note: YAY!!!!! Congrats on being a new auntie. :D
While it sucks, some people just don't think, I'm sure it wasn't meant to take anything away from them. Would I personally do it? Of course not, but I can't get mad for someone for being happy. Learn from it and close your wall/account next time if you don't want it to happen to you.
I would definitely not want to steal someone else thunder, so I wouldn't do it.
Although, this might be different when I'm pregnant, but I wouldn't be bothered by it. I know that news gets around on facebook and I know how my family is with texting. I tell my sister and everyone including her coworkers will know within an hour. Ehhh...
I think I would be happy to see all the posts on my wall. I'm pretty sure that I won't have time to update my status on facebook within a reasonable time so if people find out by other methods... good for them.
Just my opinion.
Although, when I get pregnant I won't be team green, so this is probably different.
I would think that new parents would be so over the moon (and exhausted and busy) that they aren't going to care about facebook. And seriously, if somebody just had a baby, and they're getting worked up over someone congratulating them via facebook and "stealing their spotlight" or whatever, they've got their priorities screwed up.
I don't know if it's rude or not; I don't think anybody does. This kind of social media is too new, and the etiquette is still evolving rapidly. The way we convey and relay information is also much more fluid and instantaneous, and artificial restrictions, like waiting for an official anouncement, are breaking down. You see it in news coverage; anything that's happening, it's on Twitter a minimum of 10 minutes before a media outlet has it. (Sometimes hours.) Same with gossip and facebook.
@sand dollar: What a fantastic idea! Way to think ahead!
@PitBulLover: Agreed! FI and I were in the waiting room when she was born so besides FIL's, we were the first to see her. It never even crossed my mind to post about it on FB. This is their big news to share, no-one elses. I'm just so angry that people think this is okay. What blows my mind even more is that FMIL commented on the post on FSIL's wall saying something like "she's so beautiful!!" and then "liked" the one on FBILs. She shouldn't be contributing to this!
@Elvis: If I just carried a human inside of me for 9+ months (FSIL was almost 2 weeks overdue) and didn't know the gender then someone I was just "sorta" friends with blew up my spot, I would be livid and I do not think it would have anything to do with my priorities being "screwed up". That announcement is 9 months in the making and no-one besides the people who actually did anything to earn it, deserve to make it.
Obviously this girl didn't post it to be malicious. I'm sure she was just happy that her friends had their kid and it was a momentary lapse in judgement. Doesn't make it suck any less though.
When my niece was born she was a team green surprise too (except to me, I knew she was a pretty little princess) and I made sure specifically not to tell anyone (facebook or otherwise) until the go ahead was given by her parents that I could reveal it. All of our friends were WAY too excited to find out, but it's their news to share and it's not right to take the wind out of someone's sails like that.
I also don't agree with people posting pictures of other people's babies unless they ask permission, not everyone wants their child's photo on FB.
I guess FB is just like that though, when I got engaged I asked everyone to keep it off FB until I got the chance to personally call all those who I didn't want to find out over the internet and like 12 hours after we got engaged one of my aunts had already plastered it all over my wall before I got a chance to disable it. Going forward at least I know to close my wall when there's something exciting going on haha.
This wouldn't bother me personally, but I can see how it might bother others that are excited to share their own news.
I always hear of this kind of news through the grape vine when it comes to acquaintances, so I always appreciate the "announcements"... I've never thought they were rude or anything, just that their family and friends are super excited for them...
My 38 yo divorced cousin is pregnant with her new bf's baby and she just recently reluctantly announced it to our family. Her FB posts have had NOTHING to do with her being pregnant, so if my Dad hadn't told me I wouldn't have known. My idiot step uncle goes and 'congratulates' her on her wall and I was like "seriously I hope you never do that to me!"
First-- congrats on being an aunt! I agree that certain things shouldn't be put on FB--primarily other people's big news.
I feel like if it would bother you, then you should put it on your own wall asap. I wouldn't be bothered. I'd appreciate that they are passing the good news along!
Yea, I would probably be annoyed only because it was supposed to be a surprise. I would want to reveal that surprise... not someone else. But if it was just a normal birth (everyone knew the sex already and there were no surprises) I wouldn't mind people congratulating me on FB. When my FSIL gave birth the sex wasn't a surprise. But she had to get a C section last minute, the babies heart stopped, and FSIL had no clue. I knew not to say anything on FB for the first few weeks. My FBIL didn't tell FSIL the reality of the situation when she woke up... so I wasn't about to ruin that conversation for them. And even after I knew she knew, I didn't post anything because I thought they should decide whether they wanted the world to know their business like that.
Yeah, I don't think that's cool. As far as etiquette, I think the basics still ring true: you don't release or broadcast other people's news. Period.
Congrats btw
That is sooooo wrong!
I had the priviledge of being in the delivery room for a friend's baby and she ended up calling me to remind me not to post anything. At first, I was kind of offended she mentioned it (because I wouldn't have DREAMED of doing that!) but I also realized - with today's modes of communication, better safe than sorry.
@SweetRose2011: FI's brother announced our engagement to the world on FB. We were on vacation in Hawaii and taking time to enjoy it before things got crazy. Because of his announcement, we had to hurredly make calls to the important people so they wouldn't find out vis FB. We weren't pleased.
I can't imagine what it would be like if that happened with a baby.
I don't usually get upset about things, but being Team Green myself, but this would seriously tick me off. Bad enough to announce the baby, but even worse to do the gender and name! Let them have their time for that. Geez.
@UpstateCait: That announcement is 9 months in the making and no-one besides the people who actually did anything to earn it, deserve to make it.
Pardon my French, but DAMN RIGHT!
I'm a huge proponent of "not my news to tell".
@Elvis: I think the fact that you have priorities other than facebook in these moments is exactly why nobody should post about major things before the people that are involved. Frankly, when I got engaged I just wanted to live in the moment, not run to facebook to update my relationship status, but unfortunately others don't seem to have other priorities and there was a "congratulations on your engagement" on my wall within two hours, before we'd even managed to get ahold of my husband's parents/siblings. I just think it's kind of a shitty thing to do to someone else.
Hey I found out my grandma died via facebook and I'm still pissed about that! That was on New Year's Eve this past year!
Ehh, I don't know about this one. I'm sure it wasn't meant maliciously, but just out of pure excitement. How did the friend find out - was she there also?
To me this is the same thing as when my nephew was born. DH and I were in the delivery room and I immediately texted my mom & sisters with a picture saying he had arrived, etc. Was I supposed to wait for my BIL & wife to tell her themselves? In that case, they would've waited weeks to hear! Word travels the same way Facebook does!
Also: Everyone was checking my Facebook once they knew she was in labor since they knew I was at the hospital with her. I actually did post his arrival, a picture, name & stats after we saw him. Everyone already knew it was a boy & knew his name, so it wasn't spoiling too much of a surprise. BIL & his wife actually thanked me for doing that because if I didn't do it, they wouldn't have gotten to posting it for days!
I'm really on the fence about this one. It all comes from a good place and from a place of excitement. I think it's a different situation if you're Team Green and keeping a name a secret (then it would be out of line) - but in any other case, I think it's okay to just celebrate the good news (as long as they are understanding parents and haven't voiced their objections!)
This friend is the wife of one of FBIL's friends. I imagine FBIL texted his friend and he told his wife.
While I can see your point (esp the gender/name reveal), don't you think that perhaps they were just excited for the parents and wanted to congratulate them?
I'm pretty sure this friend is A) Very excited for your FBIL and FSIL and B) Probably did not realize that the entire family hadn't been told about the baby. I'm sure the friend figured that if he/she'd been told, the rest of the family and friends had as well. I normally wait until I see other people posting (usually the parents or whoever is directly involved) before I say congrats or anything.
ugh this happened with my FBIL and FSIL with FSIL's sister. Like. We were literally in the waiting room and right when FBIL came in announching the sex she ran straight to her phone to post it. I really think it's for attention. It's like if you find out before most people you're better or more important. People need to get a life!
@dorsay: Yes, I do think that she was just excited but outing it to FB before the parents get a chance to do it themselves is just not cool. There are other ways to congratulate people. Texts for one...
I think if you didn't see that coming, that's on you... Sucks but that's how facebook works.
I would like to post this thread on my facebook... so everyone knows that when baby comes, its not their position to make an announcement... but neither my husband or I have phones with the internet, so I'm guessing by the time we are out of the hospital the WHOLE WORLD will know. but maybe I'll get lucky, when I found out I was pregnant nothing was revealed on facebook until 30 weeks so maybe If I constantly remind my relatives I don't want anything on facebook they might listen again... keeping my fingers crossed. I just feel like there are some people on my facebook who don't need to know my business, especially when its revealed by someone other than me!
I dont know where people get off doing things like that. That sucks the parents didnt get to announce it.
I would be so miffed if I were the baby's parents! I myself would have wanted to make the announcement! = (
I don't know why people do that. I usually wait until a close relative (grandparent, parents, siblings) say something before I do. My bff got engaged and before I could receive the text, I found out on FB. I guess it took a while for the message to go thru. I called her and was like, did you really get engaged? She thought I was joking because she had already sent the message. I must admit, that my feelings were a little hurt when I didn't receive the message (I received it moments later). I think people should give the "important" people a chance to find out the news before they spread other people's news.
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