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Maybe it's just me, but it makes me REALLY uncomfortable to read about people pregnant so EARLY. After knowing a few people who've miscarried, along with the high percentages, I just feel like "uh oh" when i see a post like that go up. I've known 4 people in the last month do this. One of DH's soldiers said his wife was due in July. Two facebook friends announced when they were about 8 weeks along. DH's cousin is due in AUGUST--found out on Facebook. That's 8 months away!
Is this common? I was always under the impression you keep it under wraps a little until you're in the "safe zone"--or at least away from facebook?
I just had a cousin do this. She is I believe 8 weeks pregnant and she posted it on facebook. I think sometimes people are so excited about their child that they forget the risks. This said cousin has one other child so part of me wonders if she just thinks it won't happen to her...
I personally would never. I have seen way to many photos and status' in this past year of still born babies. It really hits home that that is not a guarantee at any length. Maybe I would tell family but certainly not the ENTIRE WORLD before I could safely assume this baby is coming home with me later.
Yeah...too soon. I personally wouldn't tell anybody other than immediate family until I started showing. I wouldn't want to have to go back to all of those people and say nevermind if I miscarry.
We only told our immediate families right away and held everything else off until we had the first sonogram and heard the heartbeat. I kept it off facebook until we told our extended family, friends and I told my work.
Yeah I agree with PP that I could never do it. I have known some people who miscarried and another who had twins who were stillborn. I would be too afraid of telling people too soon.
My cousin announced her second pregnancy literally the day she found out. Unfortunately less than a week later, she miscarried. I had another friend announce her pregnancy very early as well, and she ended up having to have a D & C after a miscarriage.
Some things are just meant to be private, you know?
It makes me uncomfortable to read those too. In the last 2 years I've known a number of women who miscarried (some more than once) early on. Because they had already announced it to the FB world, they also had to "announce" their miscarriage. They could have spared themselves a considerable amount of heartache if they would have waited to make it FB official. I understand that they're excited but its too soon. My one friend who miscarried twice in a 6 month period announced her pregnancy on FB the first time around and had to deal with continuously talking about the miscarriage after it happened. The second time she miscarried, no-one besides her husband and parents knew she was pregnant so it was much easier for her to deal with.
I have had several friends do this. And about 3/4 of them have also announced they miscarried. Just so sad to have to read that over FB :(
I told DH i hope she doesn't lose it and he wrote back: "it's a good thing babies don't live on karma" (she's not exactly sweet as honey all the time)
I'm uncomfortable knowing 
. Plain and simple.
It's a personal decision, and while I think it makes sense to have a little sense of worry for people, hey, everyone gets to decide for themselves. If they miscarry, yes, then they have to tell everyone all over again, but that kind of support might be just what they need!
We're going to tell our parents at Christmas -- 8ish weeks (I think, I keep losing track) -- figuring if a) we miscarry or b) the results of our birth defect screen come back concerning, we'd like their support in getting through things.
For the people we'd be uncomfortable sharing the news of a miscarriage with, though - we'll wait.
Regardless, I try to remind myself that people live their lives differently without kids. Why should that change once they're spawning*?
~~~
Sorry, I'm weird and can't manage to use normal words without feeling like I'm not ready to grow up, so I call this our spawning. As in, "We're thinking of spawning within the next few years," or "We've spawned!" Must. Grow. UP.
We're not pregnant yet, but when we are, we don't plan on telling anyone outside our immediate family until after the first trimester...and especially not on FB. I don't want to tempt fate, or have to deal with the aftermath if anything happened.
I've told family and friends at 6 weeks. I don't believe in superstition, and thank god I don't have friends who think poorly of me posting about my family and life.
I wouldn't even be the one that would tell my mother, much less FB, until I heard a heart beat. Call me weird, but that heartache I don't want my mom to have to go through if I do.
FB sucks and people on it a lot of the time can lose all sense of reality. It's a breeding ground for stupidity. That being said, there are a lot of people that won't figure that out until it's too late and they've already opened mouth and inserted their own foot in there.
As far as the rest of the world, 12, 14 maybe even 16 weeks. Depends on who you are and how much I can trust you'll keep your trap shut.
We decided not to tell a soul until after we have our first prenatal visit. (Except here on weddingbee I guess...) All of my friends and family are active on facebook, even my Grandmother, and there is always a chance someone may slip and congratulate me on my facebook wall. So, until I am ready to tell everyone, including my workplace, I won't be able to tell anyone. It's tough. I'm also thinking about getting rid of facebook all together, or disabling the wall portion.
I told my friends pretty early on, even though I had a miscarriage a few months before. I don't remember the exact week but I just know I couldn't keep it in long. DH didn't tell his parents until after the first trimester though. I just wanted to celebrate every moment I had with this one, no matter what the uncertain, yet hopeful future. I don't have any concerns with letting my friends know on Facebook. But I do feel bad about certain people who feel so sad/worried or anxious when I was pregnant the first time (only knew for 3 days) and then the pregnancy ended. They sounded so sad for us, especially my mom, dad and best friend. It's like I made them share our pain and I want to protect them from that. Still...they got the news with this one early on. Just a few weeks later, instead of the day after we found out.
I am pregnant (close to six weeks now), and we are struggling with when to tell our parents. It will only be week 7, but we are leaning toward telling them (but no one else) over Christmas, for the reasons Cheese mentioned above.
I don't think I would post on facebook until we reached the age of viability.
We told our families immediately and a few very close friends soon thereafter. We only just announced it on Facebook last week when we were over 15 weeks. If nothing else I hope it gets us added to the prayers of some more people - we're hoping for lots of prayers to help us all get through this pregnancy happy and healthy!
We're TTC now 
and I was just looking up the right time to announce a pregnancy (in case we got luckY HAHA)! All the sites say after the first trimester or the beginning of the 13th week. I live far away from my friends and family and when the time comes, will likely announce it on FB after I've told my Mom and close-friends.
I have never heard of anyone announcing early. In fact, my friends seem to announce it right before birth! Perhaps it's an age thing, most people my age already have children and the ones that don't or on their first pregnancy wait to announce.
FYI: I would tell my Mom and my close friends ASAP!
A girl I know did this! At 4 weeks she announced it on facebook! My SO and I kept our pregnancy underwraps from EVERYONE (including my family) untill the second trimester and didn't post it on facebook until all of my family knew. I found out I was pregnant at 5 weeks so it was a looooonnnnggggg wait but well worth the peace of mind to be past the 'safe point'. Plus, my SO and I could enjoy our little secret between ourselves for a while :)
I actually see this happening here on WB more than I see it on Facebook. But then again, I guess Weddingbee is sort of anonymous, so people who are REALLY excited can tell us, strangers, just to get it off of their chest.
I don't think I'd ever tell anyone, beyond very close family, before three months.
I can completely wrap my brain around telling close friends/family (parents) and even WB because of the anonymity factor
Back to your original post - I definitely agree - I get very nervous when people announce their pregnany online or otherwise so early. I feel like I want to plug my ears and go 'la la la la la la' I can't hear you!!!
Get back to me after the first trimester. Unless you're a sibling or one of my best friends - then you better tell me ASAP!
I would have preferred not to tell anyone until the 13 week mark but I fly for the military. As soon as I told my flight scheduler that I wouldn't be able to fly for a while everyone knew. I couldn't imagine having to tell a bunch of dudes I work with if anything had gone wrong.
I told ALL of my friends and family like, the second I found out ( well it didn't help that when i called my mom half of my family happend to be over and she was screaming) But I didn't write anything on FB until I was around 12 weeks. BUT if my husband had not been so serious about me not posting on FB I probably would have writtens something earlier. People know that there is a risk of miscarriage-but if they are comfortable telling everyone, just be excited for them and don't think the worst.
I think it's a personal choice. It would be hard for me to not post it on FB, b/c i would be execited, but i think i would wait until after the first trimester. i don't think people who post think "it can't happen to me" i think they just get execited about having a baby, and it never even occurs to them, or they don't dare think it. i have seen posts early, i have seen two that ended in miscarriage. it is really sad. :(
I made my decision early on that I would not be making any announcement on any social networks, which means no ultrasound pictures or even mentioning my pregnancy. I am taking my time to tell all of our closest family and friends. Blogging is my one exception because it is my diary of sorts. I have kept those posts private and don't plan on making them public until I am comfortable.
I'll admit that sometimes it is hard to keep everything to yourself. It's natural to want to share good news, and social networks make it so easy to do so.
Sorry this is going to sound reverse judgemental but I think this is one of those really really silly things to get offended about and as soon as you get pregnant the people judging everything mommy's do come out.
When you're pregnant do what you want ,but I really don't understand being uncomfortable with knowing someones pregnant. Miscarriages happen and I think it does women a lot of disservice that they're supposed to hide this fact. Sure some people would rather just family know they went through something like that, others are more open. I told my family early and they thought it was completely bizarre that I wanted to wait a few weeks to tell other people. Because most people around us do announce early and if they have a miscarriage (which the large majority don't) there's a lot of support instead of judgement surrounding them.
I have to ask what makes you uncomfortable knowing? You don't like the fact miscarriages occur? You don't want to feel sorry for her if one does happen? I really don't understand how knowing causes you discomfort. Lemonade turned back into lemons.
I have 3 facebook friends that announced pretty much when they found out. They're all on their second baby, which went fine, which is probably why they don't have any worries.
I'm 9 weeks today and am getting nervous about announcing it at 12 weeks to people. Just b/c it's 12 weeks doesn't mean bad things don't happen, and I already miscarried once.
I agree it makes me a little bit uncomfortable but it really is up for the parents to decide.
I always thought I would be one of those that, NO WAY would tell anyone before the second trimeseter not even my parents.
Now that I am pregnant, I feel totally different. I really want to tell my parents in person, before they guess anything so that will probably be around 7 weeks. I have already had an ultrasound but have not heard the heartbeat yet. After we hear the heartbeat around 9 weeks we will tell my FI's family and his sisters (not the nieces and nephews though). After that, I will tell close friends as soon as I feel ready. If I have bad morning sickness or start showing early then I may tell them between 11-13 weeks.
One reason I have decided to tell my parents during the first trimester is that I am experiencing a lot of effects and would like to know if my mom experienced them as well.
@troubled: It makes me uncomfortable when people announce early b/c what if they do miscarry? I did and luckily we didn't tell people other than family yet. I didn't want to talk to my family, my friends, anyone. I just wanted to sit at home and cry. I hated that my family knew b/c then I knew they were worried and sad and I hated seeing them b/c I knew they knew and I didn't want to talk about it. I think people have that "it's not going to happen to me" thought, and I always hope that it doesn't happen to them. I understand that some people want the support system and that's fine, but for me I wanted to deal with it alone.
Eh, it's something people do. Overshare. I don't really have a problem with it but I do think it may upset them more if they have to be public about a miscarriage. I think miscarriage is a private, very personal thing for most so I disagree with troubled about that, not everyone wants to talk about it especially right after. Personally, I wouldn't want to tell anyone I'm pregnant until I'm far into my 2nd trimester. People get excited and do things that could hurt them later.
I really don't like it either when people do this. I didn't announce on FB until I was around 16 weeks along. Plus I don't really care to know something so early. 4-8 weeks pregnant to me is hardly pregnant. Now anything after 10 weeks I get a little excited about! =D
I'm not offended by it--it just makes me uncomfortable knowing, especially via FB. If somebody told me and/or an announcement was made (say, at Christmas), then I wouldn't even think twice. But she has implied numerous times that nobody better "beat" her to getting pregnant.
i don't care if other people do it or not, but i also don't see it as an issue of being a superstition or offensive - it's the fact that since it's so early in the pregnancy, lots of things could happen that might result in the woman losing the baby. then she'd have to constantly be reading "so how's it going, mommy?" type of wall posts and have to go back and tell all her fb friends and acquaintances about losing it. personally, i wouldn't announce it just because i look at it like i wouldn't want to tell anyone that early who i wouldn't be comfortable telling that we lost it (so basically immediate family, and certainly no early fb announcement). that said, i don't cringe when people post that they're pregnant.
@colors: I'm sorry you went through that. And I think you're right there are some people who think it won't happen to them, but I know others who know the risks and still announce and are alright with people knowing the outcome either way, I've had several friends (not even that close) who have gone through it and want to talk about it (which is why I know because I'm willing to sit down and talk to them about it, whereas closer friends didn't). Personally, I think both ways are equally valid, some people are alright with sharing more openingly and others are more guarded. And even though I'm fine with people being open I barely use facebook.
@ejs4y8: I still don't quite understand why you're uncomfortable. You'd be comfortable if it was made at Christmas during the first trimester but not if it was announced on facebook in the first trimester? Is it the mode of finding out in the first trimester that offends you? Or does this post really not have anything to do with the mode of finding out and you just don't like the girl, because from other stuff you've posted she sounds like a biatch.
It's the fact that it's Facebook. I'm not personally a huge fan of her--but it still makes me uncomfortable to hear the news via Facebook from people I DO like!
I found out about my brother and his wife expecting their second child on FB... it was infuriating - they didn't call my parents either - we all found out from a PICTURE OF THE PREGGO TEST! on FB. And they were 6 weeks along. I was so worried for them, that's SO early, but not just worried, mad! Finding out on FB when you're immediate family is just not okay.
What makes you uncomfortable about hearing the news via Facebook and not in person from an acquaintance?
Maybe it's because I don't use Facebook but I really don't understand how it personally affects you enough that you'd feel uncomfortable.
@troubled, I think it's because announcing on FB is like announcing to your whole wide world. When you see someone doing something they shouldn't, you grimace. Like a really bad singer gets up to do karaoke. You get embarrassed for them. Ya know? I can't speak for ejs4y8, but I don't think she means personally uncomfortable, but uncomfortable about the fact that they may be potentially setting themselves up for a lot more heartache than necessary.
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