(Closed) Announcing before first trimester….on good ole facebook

posted 7 years ago in Babies
Post # 3
Member
2790 posts
Sugar bee

I just had a cousin do this. She is I believe 8 weeks pregnant and she posted it on facebook. I think sometimes people are so excited about their child that they forget the risks. This said cousin has one other child so part of me wonders if she just thinks it won’t happen to her…

I personally would never. I have seen way to many photos and status’ in this past year of still born babies. It really hits home that that is not a guarantee at any length. Maybe I would tell family but certainly not the ENTIRE WORLD before I could safely assume this baby is coming home with me later.

Post # 4
Member
3709 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

Yeah…too soon. I personally wouldn’t tell anybody other than immediate family until I started showing. I wouldn’t want to have to go back to all of those people and say nevermind if I miscarry.

Post # 5
Member
1645 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

We only told our immediate families right away and held everything else off until we had the first sonogram and heard the heartbeat. I kept it off facebook until we told our extended family, friends and I told my work.

Post # 6
Hostess
18646 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

Yeah I agree with PP that I could never do it.  I have known some people who miscarried and another who had twins who were stillborn.  I would be too afraid of telling people too soon.

Post # 7
Member
5921 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: December 2010

My cousin announced her second pregnancy literally the day she found out.  Unfortunately less than a week later, she miscarried. I had another friend announce her pregnancy very early as well, and she ended up having to have a D & C after a miscarriage.

Some things are just meant to be private, you know?

Post # 8
Member
10288 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2011

It makes me uncomfortable to read those too. In the last 2 years I’ve known a number of women who miscarried (some more than once) early on. Because they had already announced it to the FB world, they also had to “announce” their miscarriage. They could have spared themselves a considerable amount of heartache if they would have waited to make it FB official. I understand that they’re excited but its too soon. My one friend who miscarried twice in a 6 month period announced her pregnancy on FB the first time around and had to deal with continuously talking about the miscarriage after it happened. The second time she miscarried, no-one besides her husband and parents knew she was pregnant so it was much easier for her to deal with.

Post # 9
Member
1391 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

I have had several friends do this. And about 3/4 of them have also announced they miscarried. Just so sad to have to read that over FB 🙁

Post # 11
Member
229 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2018 - Our home and the two acres it sits on

It’s a personal decision, and while I think it makes sense to have a little sense of worry for people, hey, everyone gets to decide for themselves.  If they miscarry, yes, then they have to tell everyone all over again, but that kind of support might be just what they need!

We’re going to tell our parents at Christmas — 8ish weeks (I think, I keep losing track) — figuring if a) we miscarry or b) the results of our birth defect screen come back concerning, we’d like their support in getting through things.

For the people we’d be uncomfortable sharing the news of a miscarriage with, though – we’ll wait.

Regardless, I try to remind myself that people live their lives differently without kids.  Why should that change once they’re spawning*?

 

~~~

Sorry, I’m weird and can’t manage to use normal words without feeling like I’m not ready to grow up, so I call this our spawning.  As in, “We’re thinking of spawning within the next few years,” or “We’ve spawned!”  Must. Grow. UP.

Post # 12
Member
4038 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

We’re not pregnant yet, but when we are, we don’t plan on telling anyone outside our immediate family until after the first trimester…and especially not on FB. I don’t want to tempt fate, or have to deal with the aftermath if anything happened. 

Post # 13
Member
1986 posts
Buzzing bee

I’ve told family and friends at 6 weeks. I don’t believe in superstition, and thank god I don’t have friends who think poorly of me posting about my family and life.

Post # 14
Member
1220 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2009

I wouldn’t even be the one that would tell my mother, much less FB, until I heard a heart beat.  Call me weird, but that heartache I don’t want my mom to have to go through if I do.  

FB sucks and people on it a lot of the time can lose all sense of reality.  It’s a breeding ground for stupidity.  That being said, there are a lot of people that won’t figure that out until it’s too late and they’ve already opened mouth and inserted their own foot in there.

 

As far as the rest of the world, 12, 14 maybe even 16 weeks.  Depends on who you are and how much I can trust you’ll keep your trap shut.

Post # 15
Member
162 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

We decided not to tell a soul until after we have our first prenatal visit. (Except here on weddingbee I guess…) All of my friends and family are active on facebook, even my Grandmother, and there is always a chance someone may slip and congratulate me on my facebook wall.  So, until I am ready to tell everyone, including my workplace, I won’t be able to tell anyone.  It’s tough. I’m also thinking about getting rid of facebook all together, or disabling the wall portion.

Post # 16
Member
1145 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2000

I told my friends pretty early on, even though I had a miscarriage  a few months before. I don’t remember the exact week but I just know I couldn’t keep it in long. DH didn’t tell his parents until after the first trimester though.  I just wanted to celebrate every moment I had with this one, no matter what the uncertain, yet hopeful future.   I don’t have any concerns with letting my friends know on Facebook. But I do feel bad about certain people who feel so sad/worried or anxious when I was pregnant the first time (only knew for 3 days) and then the pregnancy ended. They sounded so sad for us, especially my mom, dad and best friend. It’s like I made them share our pain and I want to protect them from that. Still…they got the news with this one early on. Just a few weeks later, instead of the day after we found out.

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