Announcing elopement prior??

posted 3 years ago in Elopement
Post # 3
Member
2116 posts
Buzzing bee

@jj0313:  I don’t think there is any problem at all letting them know!

I am sure they will be happy for you! Just let them know you cant wait to celebrate with them upon your return.

I think the video collection would be a great idea. I would probably send out the invitations 1-2 months in advance? Not sure exactly how to word it on the invitation though, but I am sure another Bee will be able to help with that!

congrats!

Post # 5
Member
729 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

@jj0313:  

@leisha606:  +1 I think 1-2 months is fine to let them know 

Alternatively, if you really want to be sneaky and surprise people, could you send invitations pretending its for a different occasion? parent’s anniversary, birthday, baptism, etc? I don’t know if  you are expecting/hoping a lot of out of town guests to come but my guess is that a lot may not be able to or inclined to make it as it is not a “real” wedding. 

Sounds like you are too excited to hold it in tho, so I see nothing wrong with being honest about your actual plans and letting people know you are doing a mixed elopment/honeymoon and that you cant wait to celebrate with everyone when you are home.

I love the idea of videos/photos, especially if you could get a videographer in Paris to document your wedding and do it like a trailer for when you get home? We had a trailer of our wedding done and I LOVED it! and LOVED our videographer! 

Post # 6
Member
6073 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

@jj0313:  OMG, I told anyone and everyone that would listen or ask!  Mine was not a secret at all.  Granted I just did not talk baout it out of the blue, but if people brought it up – I’d talk their ear off about it.

Many people knew we had a very long journey (my dad died while we were engaged, previous wedding plans were cancelled), so people were just relieved that we finally had a plan and made sure it was exactly what the both of us wanted to do.

I’d send out invitations 4 weeks in advance (unless you want out of state epople to fly in).  So if you send them out shorting after you returned you can write,

“Jane and Joe were married privately at ABC on XYZ.  Please join us for a celebration at their house on xyz!”

 

Post # 7
Member
4790 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: May 2016

I am not even engaged yet, but my boyfriend and I are going to do the exact same thing. We are going to do a honeymoon/elopment to Bora Bora and have a get together once we get back. We’ve already talked to our family about it and they said that was a great idea! If we were going to have a wedding it wouldn’t be very big (50ish) anyways so I wouldn’t be worried about people not coming because it wasn’t a “real” wedding. I have also mentioned to my family I want a videographer, because I was being selfish and wanting it for my future, and they told me they would really like that because I could show it off at the bbq and they could still be involved. I think that is a great idea and I think Paris would be wonderful! I almost decided to go there for study abroad this summer but decided it would be more romantic if my boyfriend was with me so off to South Africa I will be heading lol Have fun, can’t wait to see pics!

Post # 8
Hostess
7630 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: January 2013

I would definitely tell everyone! Hopefully they’ll be supportive of your choice since they’ll know how you want them included in the BBQ. A video would be fun! 

Post # 9
Member
1237 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: February 2014 - Kentucky Center for the Performing Arts

I think its fine either way. You could announce that you two are eloping but there is a chance that some people might not be so happy about it because family isn’t involved. Originally my FI and I were waiting to have a ceremony and reception with family/friends. Things changed and we decided to just elope. But the officiant is going to be my mom who is a minister and for some reason I don’t think its fair that only my mom gets to know about it. So now our private ceremony will be with both our parents present. It is still a secret for others but I too wanna scream it from the top of my lungs because I am super excited. At least right afterwards we plan to announce that we are already married along with the announcement of a Blessing Ceremony and Reception that will happen in about 2 months. So I get to tell everyone then, for now I can only tell the Bees.

Post # 10
Member
248 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

I’m actually currently designing my invites for our ‘after party’. We’re going to NY with four friends, and then when we come back we’re having drinks, dancing n nibbles with about 80 people. I actually chose this route because I was freaked about the money/time it would take me to sort everything (plus I have a lot of family drama). I floated the idea with my family by saying ‘oh i’m so stressed, I wish we could just go to New York with a couple of friends and do it there.’ They were like ‘why don’t you?!’ So they didn’t get annoyed or anything, because by them encouraging me to do it, they sort of felt like it was their idea, and they were helping me out.  So yeah, for ours, everyone knows And they’re all pleased! 

We’re wording on the party invite ‘after a very intimate ceremony in manhattan, bride and groom would love for you to join them in celebrating their marriage at home. 

Post # 11
Member
1237 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: February 2014 - Kentucky Center for the Performing Arts

@jj0313: I think its fine either way. You could announce that you two are eloping but there is a chance that some people might not be so happy about it because family isn’t involved. Originally my FI and I were waiting to have a ceremony and reception with family/friends. Things changed and we decided to just elope. But the officiant is going to be my mom who is a minister and for some reason I don’t think its fair that only my mom gets to know about it. So now our private ceremony will be with both our parents present. It is still a secret for others but I too wanna scream it from the top of my lungs because I am super excited. At least right afterwards we plan to announce that we are already married along with the announcement of a Blessing Ceremony and Reception that will happen in about 2 months. So I get to tell everyone then, for now I can only tell the Bees…Good luck with your decision.  

Post # 13
Member
6073 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

@jj0313:  “So I’m brainstorming ways I could kind of make that distinction at the bbq.

 
A distinction from a regular bbq and a marriage celebration bbq?  Or the psuedo-bridesmaids at the bbq?

Post # 15
Member
6073 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

@jj0313:  That would be a lovely idea!  They could all stand together and one could talk (then they all could help lead a toast) or they each could say a little something.  I probably would not have them get matching dresses (that is unless they really want to and you’re working with a color scheme, etc).  They could wear their own dress, or maybe suggest a dress but in a certain color scheme for some kind of uniformity if you’d like.

They could throw you a girls night out party, or a pamper at home party.

In the Mormon culture that I’ve seen here in Utah, bridesmaids don’t actually have any role in temple weddings/ceremony, but they do wear matching or similar dresses at the reception and there are not always groomsman either.

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