Announcing your engagement…esp to coworkers

posted 3 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
720 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

When I got engaged, I came into work and my boss asked how my weekend was. I told her I was engaged and she got all excited. A couple of other co-workers were right there, so they congratulated me as well. After that, I let the news spread on its own – interested people came up to me and asked me about it; most of the other people just gave me a simple congrats when they next saw me. Worked for me!

Post # 4
Member
1025 posts
Bumble bee

Facebook- done and done.

At the office I would probably just wait for people to notice the ring. As for the bar, you could always bring it up in conversation. Although it is true, once one person knows everyone will know anyhow.

Post # 5
Member
3735 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

@chillinchillin:  You could always just send your coworkers a cute email and be like, “If you see me dragging my left arm down the hallway, let me know. I’m just not used to supporting so much weight on my ring finger.”

They ALL get the same email at the same time and can come to you! 🙂

Post # 6
Member
11668 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

@chillinchillin:  I didn’t make any sort of announcement. One of my close co-workers noticed my ring and asked about it.  My office is super small and open, so everyone else just overheard us talking. 

 

Post # 7
Member
133 posts
Blushing bee

I’m friends with one of my coworkers outside of work, and texted her when it happened (it was a Thursday and I had taken a few days off of work). She told everyone for me- with permission, of course!

Post # 8
Member
2657 posts
Sugar bee

Most of my coworkers figured out via Facebook and were congratulating me as I walked into the office.  The coworkers who I’m not connected with on FB figured it out quickly enough just by word of mouth.  Although, we have an inside joke at our office about this – a couple of our coworkers are always the last to hear about big things, and we had a bet going to see how long it would take them to figure out that I was engaged.  The record was 4 months.

Post # 9
Member
3265 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: February 2014

I showed my coworker the early Christmas present he got me pver the weekend (we got engaged in November). When my boss came in she told her to come take a look at my new present from FI. It’s such a small office and I’ve been here forever so we really are a bit of a weird working family.

Post # 10
Member
5199 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2013

At my workplace we have a practice where each department meets each morning for a quick 5 minute stand-up meeting.  The first item on the list for the quick meeting is “good news” which can be personal or work related.  I included the news in the stand-up meeting as good news with my department.  Others found out or didnt’ find out naturally from there.  I didn’t want to make a big deal about it.

In your situation, I’d just bring it up naturally with people.  For example, if you have any co-workers that you are good friends with, just tell them that you’ve got news.  The word will spread from there.

Post # 11
Member
10219 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2012

Etiquette Snob here… lol

Technically in life your Personal Life and your Work Life should be seperate (and for many good reasons)

This is one of those situations.

Announcing an Engagement is definitely personal in nature… so it truly doesn’t fit with work… and therefore doing so could be seen as “bragging” … more so if your ERing is of a substantial size….

“Woohoo look at me”

Now if you are close friends with one of your Co-workers you could tell them in person, and then let the news spread as it will

But if you aren’t close to anyone… then no need to announce at all.

Trust me in time, people will figure it out.

Hope this helps,

PS… If you don’t want to wear your Ring to the Bar, you can always have a photo on your phone (cause you did say the Bar Crowd are more friends than colleagues.. so they will want to see the ring)

 

Post # 12
Member
3635 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

@chillinchillin:  I just let people notice the ring.  I had been working here for over 4 years dating the same guy so they expected it.  🙂  I did tell my director when he took me out for lunch one day.  He asked how things were going so I told him.  He continued to be an ass and still calls me by my maiden name almost 1.5 years after my wedding.  Such is life.

With coworkers I’m friends with I told them the next time I saw them, but didn’t make a point to barge in their cube and tell them.  If we were that close they’d have been on the list of people I called when he proposed. 

Post # 13
Member
3721 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

@nber0815:  that’s what I did too. 

someone is is bound to ask how your evening/weekend was, thent ell them. From there, it usually spreads pretty quickly. 

Post # 14
Member
301 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

I’m friendly with my co-workers but not very close with them.  I also didn’t get a ring until several months after the engagement.  I told my closest colleague soon after I got engaged, and some others found out through the grapevine or because we are Facebook friends.  Some have noticed my ring and asked.  I probably have colleagues who don’t know that I’m engaged, but there is no reason that they need to know.  I’m not planning on making any announcement about my wedding, but I will make an announcement about my name change if I get IT to change my name on my email.

Post # 15
Member
1068 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

I didn’t say anything, I just started wearing my engagement ring.  My boss and the other senior staff noticed immediately.  People around my age who I wasn’t close to were a little more reserved/didn’t want to be awkward if it wasn’t an engagement ring, but word trickled down pretty quickly.  I wouldn’t have said anything to anyone unless asked.

Post # 16
Member
308 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

@This Time Round:  I’m glad to hear this perspective.

@chillinchillin:  I never mentioned it to my coworkers apart from one who is a good friend. Several of them have eventually noticed and acknowledged it over the course of a couple of months, and others haven’t. The thought of calling a lot of attention to a big new rock on my finger made me feel uncomfortable and attention-seeking. Not to mention, I was conscious of the fact that if I made a big deal about my wedding at work, my coworkers would then assume that it’s just a matter of time till I go on maternity leave, and I don’t want people to start questioning my dedication to the job (it’s a sad state of affairs, but it definitely happens, even at big companies with lots of resources).

 

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