- 2 years ago
- Wedding: March 2013
The newborn isn’t the annoyance, everyone else is!
I doubt its so much the hormones as the lack of sleep and challengea of caring for a new born but I tell you people have been bugging me. From day one people have been asking if I was breast feeding, how my supply is, if it hurts… and these are my husbands uncles asking about my breasts! I was able to laugh it off at first but now his whole family is intetested.
Also since she was one week old everyone has been asking “does she sleep through the night yet? ” because newborns can apparently go 8 hours without feesing I guess. When I say she wakes up twice a night to eat they respond with “oh… she will be sleeping trough the night soon”. To my recollection they don’t until they are 4-6 months. Minor things that have been bugging me. But there’s of course more.
My Grandma is a guardian to a six year old boy who is rambunctious to say the least. At the hospital he wasn’t even supposed to be in the room but he came in anyways yelling and screaming and almost running into the bassinett a coupke times. Grandma did nothing so I had to get stern with him to calm him down.
She comes by without calling bringing the boy even though we aaid we needed a call first. If I don’t answer the door they start knocking louder. Yestersay the baby didn’t want to go down all day and was crabky from beig over tires. I finally got her to fo down and what happens? They come by within minutes and knock so loud it wakes her up atartling her. Again the boy nearly knovks over the bassinett three times before DH and I yell T him to back off. Grandma says nothing.
We weren’t allowed any more than two visitors at a time and when ahe was born I only wanted my DH and I with the baby for the first hour, aand our six year old daughter. Of course my in laws are friends with the delivery doctor so within minutes of her beig born the room was crowded and they were passing her around. I hadn’t even had my catheter taken out and there was still fluid on the floor!
My inlaws are constabtly pressuring me to take the baby over there to let them baby sit But I’m not ready to leave her yet. I’m just not. I saw how fast this stage went by with my first child, I want this time with the baby like I did with the first. Not to mention whatever I say about how I want my kids to be treated goes in one ear and out the other. We go have dinner with them and as a rule my kid doesn’t get desert unless she eats all of her food first. Everyone knows this. Every time though I say no and they say “it won’t hurt anything” and act like I’m being too strict and end up guilting DH into saying yes. Our baby starts crying and I notice why and tell them so they can confort her and its shrugged off as “oh she’s fine”.
Dh convinced me to let them watch hrr for an hour yesterday even though I didn’t want to. I fed and changed her rigtt before and finally got her down after my Grandma came by and woke her up. I told him she just went down and needed to sleep because she is getting bags under her eyes. From 7am-7pm shehad only slept two hours of small 10-15 minute naps and was finally in a good sleep. They wake her up right away and call soon after aaying she was hungry. We tell them she just ate and needed sleep and they insist she was hungry. She wasn’t. She ended up staying awake until 10pm because everyone keeps waking her up. What happened to the common knowledge that you don’t wake a sleeping baby?
She was hospitalized after she was born with jaundice and I stayed awake comforting her the entire night. Qhen we finally got hom I was able to get her down and finally lay down. Sure enough MIL comes by minutes later and knowing I just got her down and was laying down to finally get sleep and she grabs her out of the bassinett wakes her up and leaves. It took four hoyrs to get her back down.
I know everyone is excited but they want to just pass her around and think I’m not effecred by it. And they wonder why I avoid everyone and don’t bring her around. Is ut really that strange that I don’t want my child around wreckless kids or people who make it harder for me?
I feel like I have already been robbed of the first month. These people have made me worn out and the time I want to spend bonding is usually spent trying to get her back on schedule frome them messing it up. I mean come on now… you were a parent to a newborn before, you know to let them sleep and not wake them. And ignoring me when I ask foe no drop ins, to call first, and to not have my baby sround loud music… that’s not too muh to ask!
Am I thw only one with these troubles? When I decided to atart breastfeeding we tols everyone we needed space and no drop ins so I could work with thw baby and establish a good routine. I was never heard and of course atill havinf trouble vreastfeeding because I have to bottle feed half the time qith everyone always dropping in. I tried not anawering the door and thwy just knock louder. Its fruatrating. I juat want rime with my baby and family and ita been five weeks and I still haven’t gottwn it!