posted 3 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
2457 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

i think you are being too sensitive and overreacting.

she is your matron of honor… that means she helps out at the wedding and she plans/helps out at the shower and/or bachelorette.

and she is probably aware that her opinions are not the important ones and is being conservative so that she doesn’t accidentally sway you one way or another. 

comparing the attention needed for a breakup to a the attention needed for a diy project is a little extreme…

Post # 4
4395 posts
Honey bee

I think you’re reading a little much into her text. 

Post # 6
274 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

@CTBride2016:  I posted on here a few months ago about a very similar situation with my MOH…now a FORMER bff and just a bridesmaid.  Bumping her down to BM status was probably the smartest thing I ever did because it started out with simple lack of enthusiasm and over the course of a couple of months, it turned into flat-out ignoring me.  Some people get weird or jealous about weddings and there’s nothing you can do about it.

That said, don’t judge her yet, because I think it’s too soon.  You never know, she might have had an off day and took it out on you.  I hear what you’re saying about her being selfish, but you made her MOH, and I think you should give her more of a chance to get involved.  I think you should keep trying to ask for opinions, and try to have her make some kind of solid plans to help you (e.g. “could you go with me to shop for wedding dresses next month?”)  See what happens, and if you’re consistently seeing a negative pattern with her up to about 6 months before the wedding, cut her loose and appoint someone who IS attentive and supportive of you 🙂

Post # 7
1071 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2014 - Greenbrier Country Club

Sounds like a lot more is going on then what you posted for you to be steamed. 
I would take a deep breath and wait a day or two. You’ll feel better then 🙂
Make a list of what you expect from your MOH and give it to her. Let her decide if she is up to the task of being the MOH with your clear expectations. 
Remember: while the wedding is the greatest thing in the world to you, everyone else has other things going on in there lives. Try not to talk strickly wedding with your MOH. Let a few phone calls/ get together finish without you mentioning your wedding or FI. You don;t want your MOH to be sick of hearing about your wedding or you’ll always get, “its nice” answers (or worse)
Good Luck 😀

Post # 8
7292 posts
Busy Beekeeper

Friendship isn’t tit for tat. Keeping score to me means you are the one not being a good friend.

Is it disappointing when someone doesn’t live up to your expectations, of course but the thing is that these are your expectations and not her’s.

It is also very unfair to compalin about her because:

1. You made her your MOH. It doesn’t matter what she assumed, if you didn’t want her to be your MOH then you should have said so at the time.

2. You knew what her personality traits were when you agreed to her being your MOH. It is unfair to compalin about a known quantity. Did you expect her to magically change her personality just because you got engaged? I’m sorry  people just don’t work that way. 

I think you need to lower your expectations of your friend to make them more in line with what you know from experience to expect from her.


Post # 9
227 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

@CTBride2016:  I personally think you need to relax and lower your expectations.


To me the MOH and Bridesmaids are there to stand up with you on your big day. They should just simply be people that hold a special place in you or your FI heart’s.




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