(Closed) Annoyed by MIL's favortism

posted 6 years ago in Pregnancy
Post # 3
Member
4275 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

I notice that “special treatment” seems to be geared alot towards the child that parents feel need the most help. Is it right? Probably not. I know its true in my situation. My sister is a single mother that got pregnant as a teenager, she always did poorly in school, she has very low self-esteem, still lives at home at the age of 26 and only works two days a week. She refuses to seek any help from the government and would rather just sponge off my mother. I have went with her, these programs help single mothers to care for themselves and to get jobs. She just wasn’t interested. Yet, my mother is always footing the bill for her, paying for things that she would never agree to pay for me.

At first, yes it bothered me. I didn’t think it was fair but I sort of understand now and feel I am better off because I know how to be responsible for me.  That is just my advice based on personal experience and a way to maybe get you to see the light in this situation.

Post # 4
Member
366 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2013

@Cady:  I think you are right. Thats how it is in our family as well. My brother is constantly being bailed out financially by my parents, for which he shows no gratitude. But I’ve stopped trying to convince my mom to stop. She knows its harmful and teaching him to be irresponsible and always expect them to save him, but she would rather not see him suffer at all.

@Happymommy2b:  I’m sorry that this environment is one you are stuck in. My advice would just be to stop comparing. Don’t worry about what goes on between the in-laws and BIL just try and make your relationship with them the best it can be without the expectation of equal treatment. 

Post # 5
Member
1141 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

What happy mommy said x2, set all of it aside and pay for what you need yourself. Believe me it’s much better to be you and dh than to be bil and sil. Hold your heads up knowing you alone provide for your child and learn the number one lesson to being a good parent, always treat your children the equally.

Post # 6
Member
5978 posts
Bee Keeper

@Cady:  I agree…I think it’s always the child in need…or sometimes the one who doesn’t appreciate it as much that gets the most. It’s the same way in my family too. My younger brother treats my parents like crap sometimes, but he’s the one who gets the most out of our family. 

@Happymommy2b: Though it really, really stinks, try not to expect anything from them anymore. If you stop expecting it, you won’t be as disappointed when something isn’t done for you. I know that’s the harder road to take, but in the end, you and your family will be better off knowing you earned everything you worked for while his brother was handed everything. I’d also suggest your DH to start letting his parents know how busy he is and how he might not be able to help out as much with them anymore. Only head over there to help when it’s convenient for him…b/c right now, he’s being taken advantage of.

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