Post # 1
I asked him that we keep it to ourselves…since I hate the idea of people wondering when it will happen. I iddn’t even tell my best friend or my mom! And now i have all his buddies asking me if we are “still trying”… =(
I think my best friend was a little hurt that she had to hear it second hand..hope not though. She just matter of factly asked me how long I’ve been trying. I downplayed it and just said a couple of months….but then I realzized I should have told her hte trught htat it’s been about 4 months/5 cycles…because two months ago she annoucned SHE was coming off BC…so hopefully she doesn’t feel like a) I’m trying because I was somehow inspired by her to, lol or b) that I passed up a perfectly good opportunity to tell her we are trying too.
I guess DH is just excited, and it’s a question that comes up alot…I dunno, just needed to vent.
Post # 3
First, he shouldn’t be telling people if you’ve decided to keep it private. Second, she shouldn’t be hurt over it. I don’t see why TTC would be anyone’s business but yours and your husband’s.
Post # 4
Ugh. I would be really angry and upset!
I think you need to have a serious conversation with your DH and let him know how you feel. If you’re not ready to tell people, or don’t want to tell people at all that you’re TTC, he needs to respect that.
I’d recommend that you two discuss this now and come to a decision you’re both comfortable with, otherwise you run the risk of him telling more people, or even worse – once you fall pregnant, announcing your pregnancy before you’re comfortable.
Post # 5
@fresitachulita: This blows, really it does. I would hate to be in your shoes. I’m sure he was just really excited about it and maybe he doens’t even realize that it’s a much bigger deal to you to not say anything. I dont’ know if you’ve done this or not, but you should explain to him why you don’t feel comfortable telling people right now. And yes, you’d better discuss what happens and who gets told once you do get pregnant so it doesn’t happen again!
Post # 6
Thansk guys..yeah, one of his buddies asked me if we are still trying in front of a group of people! I was so embarrased! I think he realized the question wa innapropriate as soon as he asked it….and I just said, well yeah, we will be, we don’t wanna wait much longer..and just kinda left it at that….neither confirming nor denying that we are trying.
I swore my best friend to secrecy not to tell my mom because they see eachother often…and told her I really didn’t want people to knwo and she said she understood but now I just dn’t know what to tell people.
I did have a talk with DH, and told him we need to just not discuss it…when people ask just change the subject or something, but we both really dont’ know how to handle it now. He’s not as private of a person as I am, he’s gotten himself in hot water before…he doesn’t “get” why I am so private…he’s a very open book kinda guy and I don’t think he totally disregarded my desire to keep it quiet, I onlymentioned it once that we should not tell everyone and later on when I found out he told one of his best friends he looked at me all schocked when I told him that’s not what I wanted and that I hadn’t even told my mother or best friends….so he either didn’t hear me or didn’t think Iw as serious…we’ve been under so much stress latley that I havne’t wanted to make a huge deal out of it and go picking at why he did it….rather just to firmly make sure I am understood this time is all that’s been done.
I will certainly be having a more firm discussion with him if and when I do get pregnant.
Post # 7
oh god i can empathise. my husband started telling people we were ttc…i reined that in, but didnt occur to me to tell him not to mention my pregnancy (as come on, its common sense you dont announce it super early). Within an hour of me peeing on the stick i got a congratulations message from one of his friends. It was time for another talk haha
its stressful as if it takes longer ttc than expected you dont want to be fielding all the questions
Post # 8
@fresitachulita: Yikes, that’s no fun 🙁 Make sure you sit him down and make sure he understands where you’re coming from and what you want – ESPECIALLY if you don’t want people to know right away once you do get pregnant. I imagine if he’s too excited to keep it in that you’re trying, he’d likely want to tell everyone right away once he’s successfully knocked you up 🙂