Post # 1
So, I am annoyed today. It seems like after we’re done with dinner each night after work and all day on the weekends, my Fi goes upstairs and hides in his game room and plays XBox all…day….long. It’s really hot in his room because he’s got about a thousand (exaggeration) computers, routers, Subwoofers, etc going on in there and it’s over the garage so it doesn’t get good a/c to begin with. PLUS if I try to talk to him while he’s playing, I have to wait. And I feel like I’m bothering him b/c he’s playing ‘live’ so if he loses concentration, I don’t know he gets eaten by zombies or something??
Well, he comes downstairs after playing or being in there doing whatever he does for 4 hours or so and complains that he has a headache or a stomach ache. It drives me bonkers. You’re not feeling well because you sit in a hot room with headphones on all day staring at a 40″ tv that you’re sitting too close to eating crap. Argh.
Ok, I’m done venting now. Does anyone else have a gamer SO or do they have some other habit that just drives you bonkers?
Post # 3
My husband is a gamer too but he doesn’t get annoyed if I bother him when he is playing. He gets annoyed if I try to talk to him when he is doing school stuff which is frustrating because when we are home is the only time to do HW and spend time together. I would try to get your FI to have certain days where he doesn’t play games and the two of you do something together.
Post # 4
I can relate but in my guy’s case he’s always studying. I feel bad saying this because I should encourage his studies and it’s for a better future and education but in all honesty sometimes I get so pissed off. Any time he’s home he’s locked up in his “cave” studying or writing his proposal and he gets annoyed when I complain/whine or try to get some “us time”.
It works better for both of us to schedule dates in advance so there is no expectation and arguments. Every Saturday from 5.00 pm is put “pencils down” time and go for a nice dinner night. In a way it makes me forgive the other days and just find something else to entertain myself with. And for my SO he tries to get at much done on the other days as possible.
Post # 5
My FI gamed a lot when we met however he rarely does it anymore because there are other things he’s become interested in. Maybe set aside times for you guys to go on dates or do things without the Xbox.
Post # 6
Mine has an obsession with his PS3. Right when he gets home from work, he is on. And on his days off, forget it. He even will play it while he is eating dinner!!! I hate it because some days I will make a nice homemade dinner, and then I end up eating at the table alone. When I try to talk to him he gets upset. Especially if he isn’t doing so hot on his game, then it just turns into him blowing up on me and his friends all get to hear him yelling at me because I annoy him. I hate it. But there’s nothing I can do because he doesn’t want to hear it. I don’t even know what to do with these situations. I’m sorry you have a similar problem
Post # 7
I know how this can be. My FI is a gamer. I do try to get him out of game mode sometimes but I also know it’s something he enjoys…this does not however mean I in any way support him playing ALL the time.
Is there a game you could both play? Maybe ask him to bring the Xbox to a room with air and sit down and play together once in awhile. I do this with my SO and it’s a lot of fun! In turn he should also find time to do something together that’s of your liking.
Post # 8
Yes…I’m right there with you. Sorry to say, we’ve been married two months and haven’t found a compromise that works for both of us. His addiction is some online computer game he plays with his mostly high-school age (!) friends. He plays for few hours before dinner, every day, so I pretty much come home to a yelling, screaming, cussing zombie every night and like you I can’t get a word in. Sometimes he tries to pretend to be interested in me and ask a question about my day, but either doesn’t hear the answer or the conversation turns into him yelling at me along with his opponents in his adrenaline rush. So I just hang out with my cats, watch Say Yes To the Dress, browse Wedding bee etc until he decides to return to our planet. It really bothers me too, but I’m trying to see the good in it:
1. It’s innocent and better than something like a porn addiction
2. It’s better than a hobby where he’s outside all the time, at least physically he’s home (if not mentally)
3. I get to use it as a bargaining chip for other things “You have your games, I have my cats. ” (he’s not too fond of being a pet owner)
4. I’m hoping he will get it out of his system by the time we have a kid. Otherwise we will have a serious problem
Post # 9
Mine’s like that too. When we first started dating, I came over about 20 minutes early, and he was doing a “raid” on Everquest 2 with his guild (people he met up with online to do stuff in the game with), who basically made fun of him for having a girlfriend and having to leave the fake world for the real world. Sorry for the rant.
Anyway, he wanted to finish it, which was fine since I was early. But three hours later, it wasn’t so fine anymore. We had a nice, calm(ish) discussion where I told him if he ever, ever did that again I wasn’t going to keep dating him. It was a fairly long discussion, in which I told him how it made me feel ignored and not very liked (we had only been dating about two or three months), and that it really hurt my feelings. He actually stopped playing EQ2 and while he’s still a gamer, he’s never done anything like that again.
The ultimatum kind of only worked since it was so early in the relationship and I really would’ve left, you’re kind of stuck now :). Maybe just try explaining that you’d like to spend time with him and that you should do some stuff that you can do together? If nothing else, you can start flipping the power switch off in the fuse box. 🙂
Post # 10
I wouldn’t hold out hope that a baby will solve it. My DH just put on the baby sling and wears the baby while he plays. But he would turn the game of if I asked him too. Have you tried nicely asking him to turn the game off? It helps if you offer an alternative activity.
Post # 11
I’ve been with a gamer for 8 years. They don’t really tend to change. Maybe you could ask him to set aside some time every week that’s for you guys? My guy also games online with a group of people – so they always game sun, tues, wed, and so I know that those nights are nights I should pamper myself/go out with girls/catch up on work – and I know that the other nights are nights for us. Good luck!
Post # 12
I think you might be engaged to my husband.
Lol, but seriously, its been an issue for us as well. I get especially annoyed when he says he’s to tired to do something. Um, you’re tired because you stayed up all night playing games. He’s made an effort to cut back, which I appreciate. He just has to be consistent with it. The one good thing- at least his hobby keeps him home!
Post # 13
The gaming is a huge issue for me. But a couple weeks ago his video card in his computer was broken and we spent so much time together! I really loved it. Sometimes it drives me nuts because he’ll be in the middle of a game and I get insecure about how much he cares about the computer games.
As gill84 says, having something else to do helps with my boyfriend- he’s more than willing to go out and do something, or even play a board game or watch a movie, but gaming on the computer is his ONE activity.
Post # 14
Yep. It can get boring hanging out and listening to video game gunshots and yelling at the tv. Call of Duty came out and I wanted to pull my hair out. Ugh. Explosions until 3 in he morning. Grrrr
Post # 15
OMG! The yelling at the tv makes me crazy! 🙂 Glad I’m not the only XBox/Gamer “Widow”. 🙂 I need to realize that he does get his housework done and he does eat dinner with me and spends time with me when I want him to. It just annoys me when I want to talk to him about something and he can’t stop playing to talk. Grrr. I guess I have nothing to relate to. If I’m scrapbooking, I can stop and chat at any time.
Thankfully, I was able to get him out this evening for our dinner date. But really..OY! When we want to talk to you, we should be able to, gamer boys!!
Thanks for the solidarity, ladies.
Post # 16
I’m laughing right now because as I lay here in bed typing this I can hear the boy next doo talking into his Xbox mic :p To be fair he almost only plays when I am not home. If he plays when I am home I never have a problem getting him to stop playing to eat dinner/talk to me/do whatever I need.
The only annoying part of his Xbox is when he plays while I am studying or doing homework (we have the gaming systems hooked up in the exercise and study room). He likes to play Call of Duty and all I here in the background is 40 year old men arguing with 13 year old boys and throwing out every curse word in their vocabulary!