(Closed) Annoying BM basically picking out dresses herself.

posted 8 years ago in Bridesmaids
  • poll: What is the most respectful way to approach this situation?
    Should I pick out the dresses and comp her the extra over the $70? : (5 votes)
    17 %
    Should I let her get the ugly dress and have everyone pick their own as long as it's the same color? : (19 votes)
    63 %
    Or should I try to get all the BM in before Monday and see if it would work for all of them? : (6 votes)
    20 %
  • Post # 3
    18645 posts
    Honey Beekeeper
    • Wedding: June 2009

    I think I would let people pick their own dresses as long as the color matches.  This way it keeps the peace with your brother’s sister (and it is sort of hard to presume what she can and can’t afford).  I don’t think that dress is ugly, I think it’s pretty cute.

    Post # 5
    9029 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: June 2011

    oh the dress isnt ugly at all….  i say let her wear it, unless u aboslutely hate it cos the bottom line is, its your wedding, and u have to be happy with the outfits. it may be rude of u to assume what she can afford but its not her wedding and its rude of her to force ur decision based on her budge too

    Post # 7
    18645 posts
    Honey Beekeeper
    • Wedding: June 2009

    I don’t think I would be opposed to wearing a sweater or bolero with that at a November wedding.  It will probably be cold with just a strapless dress.

    Post # 9
    552 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: October 2010

    I say do what YOU want.  It’s YOUR wedding.  She agreed to be in it so…


    Ok maybe that is slightly bitchy but I had one of my bm’s hating on my top color choice from the get-go, and that annoyed me!  lol

    Post # 11
    380 posts
    Helper bee

    Well, I think the main problem is you didn’t do enough prep before shopping.  You haven’t decided if you want matching or non-matching dresses, and it sounds like you don’t know what they are comfortable spending.  And now you’re stressed and focussing the frustration on this girl because this situation is forcing you to decide on the matching/non-matching and price point issues immediately. 

    If you are wanting to just tell them what to buy, you should just tell them what to buy while respecting what each of them want to spend.  (But I also agree that it feels hard to have an opinion while trying to not be labelled ‘bridezilla’.)

    You have tons of time until your wedding date.  I would take some time to find out what YOU want and what the girls want, and then start from there.  I’m sure there will be other sales at David’s.

    Post # 12
    191 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: October 2010

    If it’s at David’s Bridal, don’t sweat the sales… they have them ALL. THE. TIME. Wait. The dress will be on sale again. Be patient, and find what you love. Don’t compromise.

    Post # 13
    1819 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: August 2014

    If the wedding date you have listed is correct, you have well over a year until your wedding. Bridesmaid or Best Man dresses do not need to be picked out this early! Wait on it, and figure out exactly what types of dresses you want the girls to wear (same dress/same color/etc). I definitely wouldn’t rush into buying that specific dress, chances are it will go on sale again in the next year.  That being said, the other dress you have picked out is pretty, but its a lot of money to wear on a dress that you’ll never wear again. I would be respectful of your BM’s budget concerns, since they are shelling out a lot of money to be in your wedding already without having to spend that much on a dress they will likely never wear again and didn’t even pick out for themselves. There are lots of dress styles are DB that are affordable and not “icky” or “old lady”, in my personal opinion. Or, try a store like Macy’s or Nordstrom’s on the sale rack. Depending on your color choice, you might be able to find a dress that is not a bridesmaid dress and will work for you and your BM’s budgets. Good luck!

    Post # 14
    7975 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper

    I love that dress!

    Actually, I’ve seen it come up on a few threads as one of the ONLY Bridesmaid or Best Man dresses anyone has actually worn again after the wedding.

    I picked a color at David’s and let each of my girls choose their own dress in that color (in satin) – I think it’s going to look really nice having them each in a different yet similar dress. 🙂

    Post # 16
    514 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: April 2011

    Matching colors can be tricky, I had a total breakdown trying to match my sister’s dream Maid/Matron of Honor dress with another Bridesmaid or Best Man dress.  I went to five fabric stores and searched all over the internet in vain. 

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