Weddingbee boards

I might have a good, solid quarter of my friends' status updates blocked. 

1. I think it's great that your life is so AMAZING.  I bet tomorrow will be EPIC.  I don't really need to hear about it Every Single Day though.  Ever heard the phrase "thou doth protest too much"?  Works both ways.

2. I also think it's great that you're so crazy in love with your widdle luv muffin.  There's a reason I don't snuggle with the two of you in bed every night, however.  I DON'T WANT TO HEAR YOU COO SWEET NOTHINGS TO ONE ANOTHER.  Why do you want the whole world to hear your sickeningly sweet baby talk?  Isn't your boyfriend/husband/fiancee mortified at your over the top public display of "affection"? And if he's doing it BACK?  Time for someone to turn in his man card...

3. I don't care that you're at the grocery store any more than you care that my ass is parked on my couch watching Judge Judy.  There's a reason I don't travel with a gps device strapped to my ankle.  I don't WANT the world to know where I am every waking moment of every day.  Frankly, I'm a little concerned that you do. If you're that desperate to report in to someone throughout the day, get a parole officer.  Hell, keep up those status updates and I may be finding myself with one soon.

4.  You <3 Jesus?  Awesome!  Good for you!  I find it hard to believe, however, that every last one of your 492 facebook friends share your exact belief system.  Given that fact, it's pretty obnoxious to go around quoting scripture as your status update, especially when done in a "this is the TRUTH and you shall OBEY!!!" kinda tone.  Yeesh.  Even if I were religion shopping, I think I might go for one that whose followers don't feel the need to beat me upside the head with a scripture stick.

5. I think it's awesome that you do volunteer work and that you like to run.  I like running too.  However, posting after every run you do (especially when you run almost every day) as well as posting multiple times a day about every detail of the volunteer work you're doing and how awesome you are for doing it is driving me f'n crazy, not to mention the fact that your constant bragging kinda takes away from the whole charitable element of your work.  More importantly, you're making me feel bad for sitting on my ass watching Judge Judy.  Knock it off.

I think that's about it.  For now.

I can't stand the few people who continue to write their status in third effing person!!!

Newsflash! Facebook removed the precursory "is" like, I don't know, three years ago?! So you don't need to account for grammatical correctness. Nor do you need to reinstate the "is" and THEN proceed to edit your status in the third person. No one wants to see you say, "Joe Schmoe: is going to lunch with his girlfriend. He is so happy to see her! He can't wait!" We're so glad you remember seventh-grade english. Now SHUT. UP.

I actually have a friend who writes updates like this:

Jane Doe: says, "I got an A on my chemistry test!"

First of all, don't EVER brag about your stupid grades. That's almost as annoying as the fact that you feel the need to put "says" and quotation marks around what you should have just written by itself. Except you shouldn't have written it. No one gives a $#!* about your grades.

@kelmac:

Thank you, I'll be here all night!  :)

And yeah, SAHM means "stay at home mom."  I think they are the worst status update offenders by far.  Can't totally blame them, though, it's not like they have a whole hell of a lot else going on outside of their kids. 

I just wish people would use a bit of a filter before putting stuff out about their personal life. Its one thing to say something positive every once in a while, but the negative stuff really gets me. One friend of mine posts like every other week about how terrible her husband is, how she feels like the only adult in the house, etc. Then a week later its all love and roses. Hello, we all know what you’re marriage is really like – you put your dirty laundry out there! We know you don’t have “the best husband in the hole world!!!!” (complete with misspelling!)

The other thing that annoys me are updates about being sick. Look, it’s fall. I have a cold, my husband has a cold, most people have or will have a cold. I don’t want to know that your snot is bright yellow or about how terrible you feel  updated 7 times a day . We’re all almost 30 for crying out loud – take some DayQuil and OJ, take a nap and grow up!

Agree with others that SAHM are the worst status offenders; though, I get it. Its just annoying to see day after day “sooooooo much laundry to do, so tired, have to clean the kitchen, need a nap” – I am temped to comment “yes and imagine if you had to do all that after getting home from work at 6pm?”. Every parent has to clean their house and do laundry. (I know its hard work being a SAHM, but seriously, its annoying, especially when cI'm hecking FB at work lol)

I can take bad status updates, I can take drama (if it's that bad they're unfriended..)

but...

I can't stand when people post FUNERAL PHOTOS. I have one 'friend' in particular who just posted photos of her grandfather's.  There are some events you just don't bring a camera to- and you definitley don't post photos (casket, burial) on a networking site. It's not a wedding.