Post # 1
Sorry, I just need to vent. I find some of my friend’s status updates BEYOND annoying. And yes, I have blocked some of them so I don’t have to read it. Examples:
What is with the people who change their status to song lyrics twice a day, everyday? Annoying.
And I’m sorry, but I don’t care if you can’t decide whether to take your child to the park down the street, to the one around the corner, or just let him play in the yard. Seriously? I also don’t care what he ate for lunch. Just sayin.
I also don’t appreciate the new ones I have been seeing lately that are like chain letters. Such as…”now that you have started reading this you must post this as your status or else you will have bad luck for 5 years”. WTF! I’m not that supersticious(sp?) but I also don’t want to be screwed for 5 years.
And there is the very popular “Jane Doe” is…
Is what? Is annoying? Is wasting seconds of my life? Is looking for an appropriate song lyric? ARGHHHH! I feel a lot better now. What updates bother you? You bees must have some because I could keep going and going…
Post # 3
Haha…I blocked a few friends from my news feed too because of they were either…
Updating about their baby every 5 minutes
Posting “i’m so fat” “i suck at everything” “life is sooo hard” (you get the gist) type updates every 5 minutes to get sympathy “no, you’re awesome” comments left for them
I feel kinda bad for doing it, but they were seriously working my last nerve.
Post # 4
The SAHM who updates everything about their child because they don’t have a life outside of that child.(not dissing SAHM, I want to be one in the future, I just mean those types. I bet they don’t even teach their kids things.) I mean, really. No.One.Cares if little Timmy is eating peas for the 1st time. Big freaking WHOOP.
Post # 5
There was actually one girl who used to post these incredibly emo facebook statuses about how sad she was, and no one understood her, and how she was so alone. It got even better when she got a boyfriend. One time he actually wrote “hello?” on one of her ‘I’m so alone’ statuses. She was one of the only people I regularly checked because she cracked me up.
Post # 6
I might have a good, solid quarter of my friends’ status updates blocked.
1. I think it’s great that your life is so AMAZING. I bet tomorrow will be EPIC. I don’t really need to hear about it Every Single Day though. Ever heard the phrase “thou doth protest too much”? Works both ways.
2. I also think it’s great that you’re so crazy in love with your widdle luv muffin. There’s a reason I don’t snuggle with the two of you in bed every night, however. I DON’T WANT TO HEAR YOU COO SWEET NOTHINGS TO ONE ANOTHER. Why do you want the whole world to hear your sickeningly sweet baby talk? Isn’t your boyfriend/husband/fiancee mortified at your over the top public display of “affection”? And if he’s doing it BACK? Time for someone to turn in his man card…
3. I don’t care that you’re at the grocery store any more than you care that my ass is parked on my couch watching Judge Judy. There’s a reason I don’t travel with a gps device strapped to my ankle. I don’t WANT the world to know where I am every waking moment of every day. Frankly, I’m a little concerned that you do. If you’re that desperate to report in to someone throughout the day, get a parole officer. Hell, keep up those status updates and I may be finding myself with one soon.
4. You <3 Jesus? Awesome! Good for you! I find it hard to believe, however, that every last one of your 492 facebook friends share your exact belief system. Given that fact, it’s pretty obnoxious to go around quoting scripture as your status update, especially when done in a “this is the TRUTH and you shall OBEY!!!” kinda tone. Yeesh. Even if I were religion shopping, I think I might go for one that whose followers don’t feel the need to beat me upside the head with a scripture stick.
5. I think it’s awesome that you do volunteer work and that you like to run. I like running too. However, posting after every run you do (especially when you run almost every day) as well as posting multiple times a day about every detail of the volunteer work you’re doing and how awesome you are for doing it is driving me f’n crazy, not to mention the fact that your constant bragging kinda takes away from the whole charitable element of your work. More importantly, you’re making me feel bad for sitting on my ass watching Judge Judy. Knock it off.
I think that’s about it. For now.
Post # 7
Dear lord, why are you all not submitting to Lamebook, STFUparents, and the other blogs of that nature? I tell you, it is fantastic to blow off steam. 🙂
Post # 8
@lezlers: number 1: Yessssssss. I always read these to my husband and say, ‘Geeeez, who is she trying to convince??’ Also number 5! I have a friend like this and we always joke that she must be planning a run for office or something!
Post # 9
What gets me is that people have no problem sharing what they are doing, where they are doing it, and when. I mean, if someone had a crazy person as a friend on facebook it’d be really simple for them to pick up on your routine and stalk you.
Aaanyways, the one I had the most is when people post a vague, cryptic status that people have to ask about in order to figure out what they are saying. I mean, its obvious they want attention!
Post # 10
Boy oh boy do I know where your coming from. My personal favs are when my “friends” that are SAHM’s insist on posting about their kids latest shit. Last I checked, NO-ONE ON THE PLANET cares as much about your kids bowel movements as you do and they certainly do not need to be documented on FB.
Post # 11
- Wedding: August 2015 - The Whitney
Status updates don’t bother me for the most part other than 10 “I’m bored” updates a day…what gets to me is the newly pregnant posting their pee stick. I don’t need to see something my friends pee’d on!
Post # 12
@lilacwire: OMG, just checked out Lamebook and it is too funny! I had no idea this existed!
Post # 13
My fiance has a friend who is trying to become a stand up comedian and posts constantly. Every single place she is going, and worse yet she has a new profile picture every. single. day. Sometimes we’ll be reading his friends list together and every other post is her for the entire page.
We also have a friend who posts multiple times a day about how emo he is because the girl he likes won’t date him. Then she responds and they go on sorta flirting sorta emo-ing for ten comments. Then he posts that he’s going out drinking. Then he posts the next morning that he is emo. And hung over. Although this whole drama has gone on for over a month and is still entertaining.
Post # 14
This is kind of making me glad I don’t spend much time on Facebook. I highly recommend it as a way to avoid lots of aggravation. 🙂
Post # 15
Oh my god this is awesome. I have been to lamebook but not in a while – I need to go back!!! I totally forgot you could block people and just started doing it again – thank you Mark Zuckerberg for providing us that option!
Post # 16
I hid the status updates for one “friend” but every now and then I’ll go on her page just to read the drama. I can’t tell you the last time she posted something positive. It’s always: woe is me; my life is terrible; my baby has so many problems; I’m pregnant again, fml; I’m so broke, etc…
I’m sorry, but I’m not giving sympathy to you. You made some bad decisions and now you are living with them.