Post # 1
so FI and I got in a little tiff last night about wedding. I know that I talk about it a lot, but I’m excited and having fun planning. I want to include him in everything and tell him what I’ve found or get his opinion on decisions that need to be made. (and no not like flowers or dresses -I know better than that) but I mean about dj, photographer, ceremony music, etc.
He says he is just freaked out about money and he just wanted a simple wedding. Yet says he likes the place and the amount of people we have just didn’t know everything that went into it..photographer, engagement shoot, picking dj, ceremony music, favors, card box, etc etc.
idk what to do because he told me to make choices and he wants me to have the wedding of my dreams (on our budget) but seems freaked out. how do I include him and get his opinion with not being so overbearing I guess may be the word.
Post # 3
Could it be that you approach him with “look hun what I got / or what I was thinking for the wedding” but I need this much $. Do you talk wedding and than ask for money like he was an ATM(asking in a polite manner) or look hun what do you think but don’t mention $.
Show him all the options you have for the venues and prices . Ask him what your budget is if he is the only one paying for it. Purchase items on your own as well so that he sees that you are also contributing
How about you doing your own engagement shoot have someone take a picture of you both
If all else fails, hide the credit card purchases until after the wedding
Post # 4
Find out what details he wants to be a part of and ask him how much he wants to be included in the rest. If he wants to pick his own tux but doesn’t care about the bridesmaids dresses, I would dicuss those details with your best female friends and leaveh im out of it completely. My FI wanted to be involved with everything… I couldn’t look at a single thing or decide on a single centerpiece without his okay. It is a double edged sword!
Post # 5
For us, timing was everything. It helped FI and I to schedule “wedding details” chat times (like, once a week, tops) so that he wasn’t mentally taken off-guard. It worked out pretty well for us, because I knew that there would be a time during the week to chat about stuff (I just kept a little running list), and he didn’t have to worry about me ambushing him with wedding questions every 30 seconds. I also discovered that once he solves a problem, he wants to close the books! He’d rather hash it out once and not waffle after the decision is made, so I learned to make sure that I was okay with our decision before closing the book on it!
Post # 6
@UK Bride: I agree!
I think about wedding 24/7 but I hardly never bring up the wedding with my FI. He gets all stressed out about it.
Post # 7
My FI is the same exact way =/ Everytime I mention anything wedding related, he just shuts down. He says everything is “expensive”. I guess he thought we’d be getting married for $500, dress and all! Lol, and he’s the one who refused a JOP wedding! It has gotten to where now I won’t mention anything to him, price wise. His parents are paying half. Me, FI, and my mother will be paying the rest.