Annoying MIL problem, any advice?

posted 3 years ago in Family
Post # 3
Member
19 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: June 2014

I really feel your pain or I’m starting to anyway.  After we set our date I noticed my FMIL becoming more active in our lives.  Particularly in the wedding planning, I worry that it is only going to get worse as our date nears.  Have you heard the saying: A son is a son until he takes a wife and a daughter is a daughter the rest of her life?  Perhaps as your date is approaching your FMIL fears her son is slipping away.  Which may be why she is trying to secure more time with you both.  I think it is important to do what you want to do, after all technically you’ll be on your honeymoon.  I find it amazing how FMILs just can’t accept what they don’t want to hear.  I think it might be best to ask your fiance to deal with her otherwise if you get too firm with her it may cause future problems.  Best of luck. 

Post # 4
Member
2325 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

I think it are really good that your fiancé and yourself are showing a united front on this matter. I think it is important that you continue this. My suggestion would be this: Instead of getting of your FMIL always making the arrangements about when you get together, why don’t you find a date that is suitable for you as a couple and then ask your FMIL if she would also be free then too. I think it is nice that she wants to spend time with the two of you but it should be at a time that is agreeable to the three of you. 

I agree with PP that you should let your fiancé deal with it, especially when she is going to one of you and then to the other when she doesn’t have the answer she wants…you don’t want her to think you are “controlling” her son. She needs to know the answers are coming from both of you, and you are in agreement. 

What would happen if you didn’t show up for the brunch? Will she come over or keep ringing until you turn up? If she brings up the part about presents again, I would say that you will come round another day…that suits you!

Post # 5
Member
11300 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013

I’ve dealt with this before, and it’s really annoying. The only thing you can do is just keep saying no. “You already asked us that, and we already told you no,” and just keep repeating that, unfortunately.

Post # 6
Member
3941 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

@vorpalette:   +1.  Absolutely.   

Post # 7
Member
789 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: January 2014

@FromA2B2013:  +1.  

@missjewels:  

I agree that it is important to be a united front/team with your FI when dealing with his side of the family.  When it comes to In-Laws and awkward conversations, I think you should always have the FI (or you if it’s with your family) discuss the issues.  Sounds lke your FI takes your side and is on your team, so that’s good!

 

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