- 7 years ago
- Wedding: November 2009
There is a massive ocean between my MIL and me, which I am quite pleased about. Despite the 10000 miles, she does still irritate me.
She often cries to my DH on the phone about how much she misses us to the point where I can see it effecting him. We can be having a great time then after she calls, the mood completely changes and he says his mother is upset, which understandably bothers him.
We always agreed to live in my country but are fortunate enough to afford an annual trip to visit his family. However, every time we do go back and visit, I feel that his mother doesn’t really make an effort – she doesn’t often cook, she sits on the phone talking to her friends half the night, invites other guests around rather than spending some alone time with us, never asks me questions, etc, etc.
I never discuss the issues with my DH but I feel like she puts pressure on him to come home (possibly forever!) without accepting we have started another life together now. She is happily married and has two other daughters living in her neighbourhood so she’s not alone. She shows no gratitude for the time we do go and visit but whinges every holiday we’re not around.
She also puts ideas in his head that I’m difficult. e.g That I musn’t like talking to her much on the phone because I rarely do. As she only talks about herself, never asks how I am going, and basically hints on me putting my DH back on the phone after 2 minutes, I don’t go out of my way to talk to her unless DH hands the phone to me for the above reasons.
Although she has some good qualities too, I feel that she is a little manipulating (more so than what is explained here). I want her to be more accepting and sulk less about our situation.. crying gets a bit old after a while. 🙁
How do people deal with these sorts of MILs?!