Post # 1
Hi… I´m in a bit of a dilemma between what I would do and what wont offend other people…
My dad is not coming to the wedding (He lives in Miami) but my brother is goint to come, he is 16 years old and the Bestman
We have a small wedding and we decided not to have bridesmaids or groomsmen. We only have a Maid/Matron of Honor and a Bestman, I picked my cousin who is coming from Venezuela as my Maid/Matron of Honor because we always said we would be each other´s Maid/Matron of Honor and I wanted her to come : )
My Fiance has 2 brothers and 2 sisters, he initially thought his Best man would be one of his best friends, but then decided against it, so he was considering his options and I suggested that my brother was the one who had been closer to our relationship, they were always friends and he was there when we had though times, he agreed.
So, unintentionally we ended up with none of FI´s family members in our wedding party… His mom was convincing him saying the grooms always go down the aisle with their mom, which is not true, but I am going to talk to him about that because he said it would be small and we have a short song, and if he goes with his mom that would mean his dad and my mom would have to be included and everybody is going to notice my dad is not there…
On the same day my Future Mother-In-Law and Future Sister-In-Law started asking who I was walking down the aisle with, and I guess I never thought about it because for me it is not a big deal to walk down the aisle alone… but when they asked me I thought about it and said maybe my brother could do it, and then the suggested my Future Father-In-Law would walk me down the aisle… I couldn´t think of a nice way to say that is not what I want, I mean, it wouldn´t bother me, but would have no meaning for me at all…
The thing is I think they are going to be upset or feel awkward being such a big family and with none of them in the wedding party… WHAT SHOULD I DO??
Post # 3
Just let them know that this was your FI’s decision & he was able to pick whomever he wanted to stand by his side (don’t put this on yourself, it was his decision, so he can remind his parents of that.)
I also think that they offered your Future Father-In-Law to walk you down the isle as a nice gesture, they prob just want you to feel included & thought you may like the idea. If you want to walk by yourself go for it! Or you can always walk with your mom 🙂
Post # 4
Perhaps you could make them ushers and still walk down the aisle, so that way the only thing they wouldn’t be doing is standing up there with you. Could your Future Father-In-Law walk a grandparent down the aisle? They’re often included in the processional. My hub walked with his mom down the aisle, then my Father-In-Law walked my mom and grandma down and my other set of grandparents walked down together.
Post # 5
You could always give FI’s brothers & sisters special duties – i.e. a reading, toast, or have one of them be the one to “announce” you into the reception (I’ve had clients do this- it’s a nice alternative to a DJ/bandleader who might mispronounce names, plus a person who knows the couple has real enthusiasm as opposed to canned).
Fiance could walk his mom down the aisle, or you could appoint one of the brothers to do it. Your brother could walk your mom down the aisle and then assume his role as best man. Or you could designate FI’s brothers as “ushers” at the ceremony, they’d seat everyone – you would include them in the “bridal party”, but they wouldn’t have to have partners or stand for the ceremony. Traditionally, the usher’s reception duty is to dance with any ladies who show up solo (great if the brothers are single!), and to generally make sure people are mingling. Really, this would depend on their personalities, but it might be a good compromise if fiance wants them.
You mentioned that you’re worried about everyone noticing that your dad isn’t there – regardless of how you solve the aisle issue, people will likely notice that bit anyway (when he doesn’t walk you down the aisle/no father/daughter dance, etc.). I wouldn’t rule out having Fiance walk his mom down the aisle if he wants to. You can have an usher or your brother (or even FI) seat your mom without making a HUGE deal of it.
If you’re not interested in having Future Father-In-Law walk you down, say so from the beginning. Is your relationship with your own father strained? You could always have your mom walk you down or even your brother and then he could assume his role as Bridesmaid or Best Man. If you truly want to walk alone, just tel Future Mother-In-Law & Future Sister-In-Law that that’s what you want to do, and it’s not meant to offend Future Father-In-Law, it’s just what you want for your wedding day.